Blue Ridge Beauty

We went away last weekend to get a break from the city and our work and all that stuff. Although I had hoped to see more color, it was still beautiful. I love the mountains!!! One of the kids broke my camera so I could take pictures but not tell if I was even aiming right or actually getting anything. Took several shots of this view and hoped it would take. Came home and put it together to make this panorama. I'm pleasantly surprised and thankful to God, as simple as this may be, that with a hurt back and a broken camera, I got this beautiful picture to remember our trip and that God made all the world and everything in it. I'm so thankful to have had a few opportunities to see the mountains and the ocean when I thought as a Midwest-bound person I never would.

Good night God and your beautiful world!
Rebekah :)

A Bundle of Emotions- Translation "A Basket Case"

Dear God,

Its' me again. The big mouth, big butt Rebekah. :) I know you have a sense of humor because you made me a nut- a "mess" as many of my coworkers, friends, and even my own Momma called me tonight :). I hope sometimes I make you laugh. I wish I could laugh tonight, but I can't. I sure could use Your help for myself and for some friends.

You know that someone at school caused a "ruckus" about student teaching arrangements and that Kristen was going to have to leave AJE to be able to student teach somewhere else. I thank You for intervening on Kristen's behalf to work out the problem there and for allowing her to stay with me and our kinderkids at AJE. I thank You for a prof that was willing to go to bat for Kristen and my other friend. Please intervene again on the other situation and help it to be worked out for the good of those who need it.

God, I am a bundle of about a million different emotions right now, and I am so tired it's just not funny!!!! I'm so grateful to You for working things out for Kristen! I would have hated for her to have to go through that process- switching schools midyear, getting acquainted with new kids/teachers/parents/school, having to say goodbye to her AJE kids & families. I would have hated it for our kids and families who have gotten used to Mrs. Lanier and who look up to her and love her. I would have hated it for me!

I'm angrier than I think I've been in a long, long time too, and You know all about that. I feel so hurt and betrayed and yet I have to go on and work with people and somehow rise above all this mess. How am I supposed to do that?

I am so disgusted with myself for getting mad at certain situations last week and replying via email. I feel like I didn't handle that situation the way I should have. I should have had a spine and confronted the issue or just let it all go and let people think what they will about me. They're going to anyway. I am so afraid I made things worse, though I honestly didn't mean to. I was hurt, caught off guard, surprised, mad, frustrated, and upset. I never can express myself the way I mean to or want to. My momma should have named me "Foot-in-mouth"!

All I want to do in life is be pleasing to You, God, to be a wonderful wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend, and teacher. To be there for my family and help carry the burdens of my family, my students, and my friends. To be supportive of those around me and to be a good listener. To get along with everyone. These are honestly the things I try to do each day; I know I have a long way to go, but I do try. So why does it seem I keep messing things up? How is it most people think highly of me, but I've made such a mess with others?

God, I am really, truly sorry for not keeping my cool, for not thinking before I spoke via email, for saying/doing anything that didn't shine Your light in my world. Please help me to forgive and go on. Please help me to be more like You and less like me. And God, thank you from the bottom of my heart for allowing Kristen to stay at AJE. Please fix the other situation that needs Your help. Please help me to let go of my "feelings" and see the bigger picture here. Help me to grow up some more in You.