Barbara's Graduation

Today was another wonderful day for our family. We missed the ones who couldn't be here a lot, but we are too blessed to wallow in self-pity. So for the two grandmothers and anyone else who would like to see, here is our Barbara Rose at her high school graduation!

Barbara graduated Cum Laude. She wore a yellow honors stole for the National Honor Society. She had a cord & medallion for the Beta Club- another honor society. And she wore her white IB stole as an IB candidate (we will know in the summer if she passed her IB exams...)


Dad stood behind being silly as always. :) Robert is there in the background with friends and the youth leaders from his church who came to graduation to be there for Barbara.

This is Vicki & Terry Wagner, a couple from our church, who came for us at the last minute when we found out my parents couldn't be here today. Though they could never and did not take their place, it was so nice to have Godly friends from church who would take time out of their day for our daughter!!!
This is Jenny, one of the youth leaders from Robert's church. They really love my kids; I just cannot say enough about these three leaders! They will never know until maybe when they are parents, how very much they mean to me!!! Oh, and I should say something about the silly teenage boys making faces and bunny ears behind the girls. Boys! :)

Barbara and Ms. Weinkle who taught both of the older two at Smith- a wonderful teacher who has become a friend. Scott and my sister are behind them- Scott is taking photos. :)

Our family

Thank you God for a beautiful day with good weather. Thank you for family who loves us dearly from so far away. Thank you for church friends who love us in You and would take time to come help us celebrate. Thank you for a wonderful teacher! For the laughter and smiles I see in the faces of my family that I love as I look at these photos- my husband & my children's smiles make me smile in a way no one else can. Thank you for this beautiful baby girl you gave to us so many years ago, who has grown into this beautiful young woman that I am ever so in love with and so very, very proud of! Thank you for a wonderful day for her, for helping her complete this chapter in her life and helping her as she opens the pages of the next one. Keep her ever in Your book and show her the wonder and beauty of the book you've written for her so that she will never want to put Your book down, but immerse herself in it all the days of her life.

I love you God for who You are, and I appreciate You for these many, many blessings and so much more than I could ever say.

With a heart brimming over with love and thanks,

Rebekah :)

Graduation is on the way...

Barbara will graduate in 9 hours, but hey, who's counting? :)

I took a personal day back when my momma and pop were still coming out, and I had already had the pay taken out for it, so I just left it alone. It was a busy day, but okay. I got more groceries for tomorrow, visited with my sister & brother-in-law, went to Hobby Lobby & Michael's with my sister and two older kids, made tomorrow's taco salad and dessert, got a bunch of small chores and laundry done...

I am so hurt and uptight with some things. My heart just aches. I look forward to seeing my baby girl graduate tomorrow. That will be so wonderful! It's going to be hard too though, knowing my daddy is not here to see it (he would have loved this kid of ours!). And I know it was so very, very hard on my momma & pop to not be here. I'm sad for momma & Barbara and for me. :( S is leaving for Ohio, I guess, tomorrow. I'm not sure. She's moved her stuff out today, and I guess she's upset with us, I don't know. It's been hard on her, I know. I hope she can move on and be happy and have peace and know God's love. That's all that really matters.

Well, that's it for tonight. Lots of pictures to follow in the next couple days for sure!

The Landslide'll Bring It Down

It's a long, complicated, and very private story.

So many emotions and thoughts...

I miss him so very much, and my momma too. I miss the family that I could have had and will never really be able to know. I miss the family my children could have had and never will now. I miss what could have been.

"I took my love, and I took it down. I climbed a mountain & I turned around. I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills, till the landslide brought me down. Mirror in the sky what is love? Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changing ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life? I don't know. Well I've been afraid of changing cause I built my life around you. But time makes you bolder, children get older. I'm getting older too. So take this love, take it down. If you climb a mountain and you turn around. If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills, well the landslide'll bring it down."

His Still Small Voice

It is absolutely amazing to me how God uses music to minister to me. I understand and relate to King Saul and the way David's harp playing could soothe his savage spirit. I am very much the same. It just takes some peace & quiet, some music, and the next thing you know I am wide open & God starts to speak to my heart about things, to minister to me. I find God more often in music than I can say- in church of course, but in my car just as often, if not more.

This week, God has been there speaking to me, and for that Father, I am so very grateful. Thankful that You were there in the car Friday night with Rob & I as we drove around listening to Chris Tomlin's work and I cried and snotted my way through three or four songs. Thankful that you were there in the back row of our church today gently nudging me through the lyrics, speaking to my heart, letting me know it's okay and You're so very much in control of this crazy world and my crazy life.

You were there today from the first song to the last.

You were there when I wondered, what exactly does this "Hosanna" that we sing about all the time in church even really mean and You prompted me to look it up when I got home. Wow, it means, "save now or please save..." You knew I needed to know that today. And that was just the beginning.

You were there when the song sang about going "where you lead I'll follow..." I have Lord. I have. I left it all- my family, Father, my family- and everything and everyone I knew or have ever known- and there will never be any going back will there? I know it's not the same by any means as what You gave up, but will my small to You, but huge to me, sacrifice mean anything, will it be counted for anything, will it accomplish anything, will You help me when it's hard and I'm lonely and sad???

You were there when the song said "Savior, You can move the mountain. You are mighty to save..." You knew I had emailed someone last night to ask them to pray about a mountain in our lives that needs to be moved. It is so interesting that You led me to use that word last night, that You had this song in church today.

You were there in that song that so says how I feel and yet so shows how You care that You would take time to impress someone who chose the music for this week to choose these particular songs- songs I have sung many other times and been blessed by and praised You with and enjoy on a regular basis, but maybe never like I did today- "...Still You take time for me, I can't understand..."

You, the God of all the world, the God who spoke this entire universe, world, sky, sun, moon, stars, creatures aplenty- everything I can ever behold- You, who created me inside my mother, knew me before even she did, who made me the person I am, created me to be a freckly, child-adoring, easy-to-cry, and easy-to-give-my-heart away kind of person, who made me to be a softy, a bit gullible- You who knew what my life would bring and how those events would shape me even more into a person You would somehow, for some reason want to use for Your purposes...

You are here. Hosanna, please save me Father. I am just a sinful child who loves You so, but messes everything up. I know You are here and that You love me more than I can ever fathom. I thank You for teaching me things I need to learn and for the gift of music through which You best speak to me.

I love you God.