Saturday, September 11, 2010

Saturday Nothings

my random, or not so random, thoughts today:
  • God please comfort those who lost personally nine years ago today. Please be with them today as they mourn and remember; let them find You there in the midst of their sorrow and pain.
  • God please be with those who are lost and don't know it; send a light in a dark place- no matter the nation or place. Help those who are called by Your name to be mindful of Your great love & mercy; remind us to be kind to all those around us, no matter their religion, creed, race and help us all to remember that You love the world and died for the world- each and every one of us.
  • I am really sick with something horribly icky. :( Not a good way to spend a weekend, but I am grateful it is the weekend and hopeful that I will be much improved come Monday morning. I CANNOT miss work this year!
  • I am super-duper excited because Sonic picked up my "Pix for Learning" project for a document camera and finished the funding $581 worth!!! Thank you to all of you who voted for me at the Limeades for Learning site; I had over 200 votes in about a week!!!! Please go look up Rob's grant "Videos for America" (search for NC, Kernersville) or Dona's "Learning with Projection" (search for NC, High Point) or Lisha's "On Fire with Literacy" (search for NC, Craven County). You can vote with every email address you have each day from now until Sept. 30. Please go vote each day and help out a teacher you love or feel free to vote for one of these I care for! Thanks soooo much! :)
  • I started a Giving Page with Donors Choose. I know I'm not Miss Popularity and that I don't have tons of bloggie friends, but in the hopes that I can help someone out as I have been helped and blessed, I posted many grant requests from my hubby, his school, my school (but not me), my cousin, and some schools near where I used to teach back in "highly impacted" part of that community- where I left a small piece of my heart. I hope someone will look through it, give as much or as little as they can, and even more importantly be inspired to pass on the link(s) and share a proposal with another who might, in turn, give or pass it on. Who knows where it might go and who might be drawn to help a child they don't know and make a BIG difference in the life of a child.
  • Lastly, I had a very bad ending to the week with a visit from someone who was less-than-impressed with me. I feel a little attacked to be honest, and very, deeply hurt. Though I am down, I am not out for the count, and I will NOT let some outside person determine the success of my students or myself. I will rise, with my God's help, to the occasion and come back fighting again on Monday.
With lots of love for God, my family & friends, and those blog friends I have made,

Your Beka :)

Thursday, September 09, 2010

Available for Hire

Available for hire: One experienced, but slightly disgruntled & hurt teacher. Any takers???

What to do when you have taught as long as I, aren't fit to do anything but teach, are decent at it & don't really want to do anything else? What to do when your best is never, ever going to be enough? When no one even notices a single positive thing about you or your class, let alone the growth in the students or you in just a short, short time? When strangers who don't even know you as a teacher, observe you unannounced, don't take time to share what they observed, or allow you to share your planning or thoughts, or take time to get to know a single thing about you except what they want to see? And if you DARE to offer any added info, you're just making excuses.

I go back to how I treat my kids. I would never treat my kids this way. Somehow, somewhere, we teachers have become these "monsters" in the view of many, and I am so deeply hurt tonight. How I can ever do this for the number of years I have left to retirement is beyond me. I'd pack up & go overseas if God would let me. Maybe they'd take a big fat, corny, big-hearted teacher and not mind her if she had a less than perfectly clean white board, one missing EQ, or any other # of faults my current employers seem to find in me.

God, please come down and help me. I can't do this anymore and it hurts so much more than I can say. :(