A first for me in a LONG time. I had a decent night's sleep; the bonus part was I didn't even take anything to help me sleep either!
Do you know how priceless that is? When you've gone a long, long time without it, you begin to realize how important rest and sleep are to your body. My emotions have been all over the charts, and my brain has felt like it was on a roller coaster or race track and couldn't stop. I've been forgetful, had a hard time focusing and being organized.... I won't bore you with the details. I didn't know a body could feel so tired!
I will say one more thing about it though. THANK YOU GOD for letting me sleep one night! Could I please sleep some more? :) I'd really appreciate it.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Friday, April 27, 2007
Just Got To Laugh
Ever had a bad day? A bad week? Well, this has certainly been my banner week!!! If there could be a "Friday the 13th" of weeks, this would have been it. I've never had one quite like this, that's for sure.
Let me recap:
Sunday: I curbed the one of the van's tires (I think) on a sewer cover in the parking lot where I took Matthew to ball practice. Whatever the cause, when I got home I discovered a large 2 inch gash in the tire. I had no way to get back to pick Matthew up from ball practice or Barbara from work. Thankfully, with God's help, and a coworker's assistance & Rob leaving work early, we were able to get everyone back home safe and sound with little trouble.
Monday: A serious behavior issue developed in my classroom. I spent the day questioning two children and talking with the school's social worker trying to "solve" the mysteries of the situation. Then I had to contact two parents, one via our school translator. What fun explaining the situation to parents that was.
Tuesday: After picking up Barbara from work and her just getting started on her homework (@ 10:30 PM), we heard gunshots just outside our home. It was terrifying! Needless to say Barbara didn't get her homework completed, and I didn't get any sleep that night!
Wednesday: Due to all the insomnia I've been experiencing and the added drama of the night before and the resulting lack of sleep, I was having a very hard time getting myself up and on the road this morning. Needless to say, I was late to school. Rob and I had switched vehicles after the tire trouble, and I forgot that my tennies were still in the van. So I left thinking my shoes were in the car. I was wearing the old flip flops that Robert had given to me. I realized upon my arrival that I had no tennies, and that I was wearing shoes that were not allowed according to our school's dress code. So I had to go explain to the boss that I needed to go home and change my shoes. Thankfully, I have a wonderfully supportive boss who was more concerned about the safety concern we had experienced and my lack of sleep and Barbara's emotional well being than my footwear. :) After school, more running, running, running. Rob was working at the Hoppers again so I picked up kids from assorted places, and took everyone to youth group for their last time at our church in K'ville. Then when we came home and prepared to do our work and nightly routines and go to bed. The boys had gone on to bed, and it was just Barbara and I up still when we heard more gunshots. I called Rob on his cell, turned off all the lights and sat in the back of the house until Rob got home.
Thursday: Barbara and I had an argument (imagine that). I sent the boys into Food Lion to get some things for supper and for the food I needed to make for work on Friday. While they did my shopping, Barbara got in the front seat and we worked out our issues. :) Then the dear child stretched out with her feet on the dash and gently pushed on the windshield making a crack over a foot long across the window! Okay, now this is where it gets WEIRD and almost unbelievable, but I promise this is the truth! While on the phone with the insurance company, Robert was cooking pizzas for us and the oven caught on fire! I had to hang up and try to help him put out the fire. Reaching for the canister of flour, I dumped it into the oven only to discover that it was, in fact, powdered sugar- which, what do you know, happens to burn quite well! We finally got flour from the pantry, and Robert was able to put out the flames. Then I got back on the phone and took care of business. When I got done with all that, Robert informed me that the 2 liter of rootbeer had "exploded" or something. Thankfully, he had taken care of that for me. Maybe he knew I would have a nervous breakdown if he didn't deal with it immediately. :) Or maybe he just had pity on me this time. At bedtime, Robert was helping me fill the dog's big water jug when he dropped it on the deck and it broke (of course).
Friday: I spilled breakfast on my shirt while sitting at the gas station waiting on Matthew. So I went to school (late to boot) looking like a slob. Then just at lunchtime, I got myself tangled in the phone cord of my classroom phone, not realizing it of course. What do I do? Walk away from the phone, yanking the phone off the shelf, and pulling it, jack and all, right out of the wall! AND, there were still kids in the room and a coworker. BRILLIANT! I emailed my mom and hubby to tell them my latest funny. My mom suggested that I go home and lock myself in the bathroom. But I'm not sure that's a good idea either. The way things have been going that wouldn't do me any good because the lock would probably get stuck, the toilet would start overflowing and fill the bathroom and I would be stuck and drown! :)
So I've decided, what am I going to do? What can I do but just laugh! :) If this hadn't been me, I don't think I would even believe all this. What a week. So here I sit, too tired to do anything but stare at this computer. But on the inside, where it counts, I am busting a gut laughing! :)
Let me recap:
Sunday: I curbed the one of the van's tires (I think) on a sewer cover in the parking lot where I took Matthew to ball practice. Whatever the cause, when I got home I discovered a large 2 inch gash in the tire. I had no way to get back to pick Matthew up from ball practice or Barbara from work. Thankfully, with God's help, and a coworker's assistance & Rob leaving work early, we were able to get everyone back home safe and sound with little trouble.
Monday: A serious behavior issue developed in my classroom. I spent the day questioning two children and talking with the school's social worker trying to "solve" the mysteries of the situation. Then I had to contact two parents, one via our school translator. What fun explaining the situation to parents that was.
Tuesday: After picking up Barbara from work and her just getting started on her homework (@ 10:30 PM), we heard gunshots just outside our home. It was terrifying! Needless to say Barbara didn't get her homework completed, and I didn't get any sleep that night!
Wednesday: Due to all the insomnia I've been experiencing and the added drama of the night before and the resulting lack of sleep, I was having a very hard time getting myself up and on the road this morning. Needless to say, I was late to school. Rob and I had switched vehicles after the tire trouble, and I forgot that my tennies were still in the van. So I left thinking my shoes were in the car. I was wearing the old flip flops that Robert had given to me. I realized upon my arrival that I had no tennies, and that I was wearing shoes that were not allowed according to our school's dress code. So I had to go explain to the boss that I needed to go home and change my shoes. Thankfully, I have a wonderfully supportive boss who was more concerned about the safety concern we had experienced and my lack of sleep and Barbara's emotional well being than my footwear. :) After school, more running, running, running. Rob was working at the Hoppers again so I picked up kids from assorted places, and took everyone to youth group for their last time at our church in K'ville. Then when we came home and prepared to do our work and nightly routines and go to bed. The boys had gone on to bed, and it was just Barbara and I up still when we heard more gunshots. I called Rob on his cell, turned off all the lights and sat in the back of the house until Rob got home.
Thursday: Barbara and I had an argument (imagine that). I sent the boys into Food Lion to get some things for supper and for the food I needed to make for work on Friday. While they did my shopping, Barbara got in the front seat and we worked out our issues. :) Then the dear child stretched out with her feet on the dash and gently pushed on the windshield making a crack over a foot long across the window! Okay, now this is where it gets WEIRD and almost unbelievable, but I promise this is the truth! While on the phone with the insurance company, Robert was cooking pizzas for us and the oven caught on fire! I had to hang up and try to help him put out the fire. Reaching for the canister of flour, I dumped it into the oven only to discover that it was, in fact, powdered sugar- which, what do you know, happens to burn quite well! We finally got flour from the pantry, and Robert was able to put out the flames. Then I got back on the phone and took care of business. When I got done with all that, Robert informed me that the 2 liter of rootbeer had "exploded" or something. Thankfully, he had taken care of that for me. Maybe he knew I would have a nervous breakdown if he didn't deal with it immediately. :) Or maybe he just had pity on me this time. At bedtime, Robert was helping me fill the dog's big water jug when he dropped it on the deck and it broke (of course).
Friday: I spilled breakfast on my shirt while sitting at the gas station waiting on Matthew. So I went to school (late to boot) looking like a slob. Then just at lunchtime, I got myself tangled in the phone cord of my classroom phone, not realizing it of course. What do I do? Walk away from the phone, yanking the phone off the shelf, and pulling it, jack and all, right out of the wall! AND, there were still kids in the room and a coworker. BRILLIANT! I emailed my mom and hubby to tell them my latest funny. My mom suggested that I go home and lock myself in the bathroom. But I'm not sure that's a good idea either. The way things have been going that wouldn't do me any good because the lock would probably get stuck, the toilet would start overflowing and fill the bathroom and I would be stuck and drown! :)
So I've decided, what am I going to do? What can I do but just laugh! :) If this hadn't been me, I don't think I would even believe all this. What a week. So here I sit, too tired to do anything but stare at this computer. But on the inside, where it counts, I am busting a gut laughing! :)
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Tired & Sorry, Sorry & Tired
What a week this has been! Who am I kidding? What a school year this has been! I didn't know I could be so tired and yet still keep going on somehow. How does a body function on so little sleep for so long? Why can't I sleep? These are the questions that seem to be a recurring theme for me once again. I did this when my mom got sick with cancer. Okay, stress and worry. But what's the problem this time?
I know God loves me and He doesn't just sit up there in the great beyond and zap me when I'm sinful or fail Him, even if it is often. But, I'm so tired and don't understand why I don't get any sleep, even when I ask Him for help every day and night. I feel like I must be doing something wrong. Even our pastor one time said something like this in Bible study- "if a person can't sleep, maybe they need to search their hearts for secret sins and repent..." I've repented of everything I can think of and probably for things I didn't even need to repent of. I apologize to God, my family, my friends, my coworkers, acquaintances, and given the chance, will even apologize to complete strangers. Next thing I know I will be apologizing to the grass, trees, flowers, van... :)
This too is a major theme in my life. Ask my family or anyone who has worked with me for very long; they'll tell you!
I notice that with the sleep deprivation comes the self-dislike and guilt complex- okay, it makes it much worse. So I'm just trying to hang on and keep going. I know these are just feelings and not reality. Many people I work with say wonderful things about me (too nice if you ask me). So I must not suck (excuse my mouth, but it is how I feel) as much as I think. One foot in front of the other. My momma says (and I do remember this some) that she went through this. Some of my dear pals from school say that they have had the emotional rollercoaster feelings I'm feeling too. So, maybe it is just my age- cherish that thought. :) I know I have to just get through this time and it will pass. But right now, I don't want to live like this for a few more years.
I can take "medicine," which is what my friends at work keep telling me to do, and the doctor. So I tried it. Guess what, it makes me not sleep even more! Imagine that. So I quit.
Maybe I should not be so hard on myself. After all, this week brought with it a flat tire (I think I hit something that slit the tire) & all the excitement of finding transportation for my kids, having to ask for help from a coworker, more behavior issues to figure out at school (that list has gotten so long, it's disgusting!), flying by the seat of my pants all week long (even though I usually wear dresses) :) - okay, so I may be able to do it and no one else know it- but I do, forgetting my tennies & wearing flip-flops to school (YIKES!), hearing gunshots and being scared in my own home and (are you ready for this) then not sleeping well....
Trying to put it all in perspective, my kinderkids do love me and hang on me and play with me and laugh/kid/cut up with me & learn almost anything I present to them, and when I'm with them (even though their behaviors have been CHALLENGING) I feel God with me and know that I am in His will and that I am important to these little ones. When I think about my kids, I know I have done God's will and been a good mom. My kids are terrific!!! They are serving God, being a witness for Him, trying to live for Him, they do love us and help out a HUGE amount, are respectful to adults and us (usually-smile).... My husband loves me and says I'm his best friend. He has stood by me through thick and thin. My parents and sister love me and think highly of me.
So I'll just keep on putting one foot in front of the other for right now. Maybe with more prayer, some unisom, prayer, prayer, and a little more prayer, I'll get there. For right now, I'm tired and sorry. :)
I know God loves me and He doesn't just sit up there in the great beyond and zap me when I'm sinful or fail Him, even if it is often. But, I'm so tired and don't understand why I don't get any sleep, even when I ask Him for help every day and night. I feel like I must be doing something wrong. Even our pastor one time said something like this in Bible study- "if a person can't sleep, maybe they need to search their hearts for secret sins and repent..." I've repented of everything I can think of and probably for things I didn't even need to repent of. I apologize to God, my family, my friends, my coworkers, acquaintances, and given the chance, will even apologize to complete strangers. Next thing I know I will be apologizing to the grass, trees, flowers, van... :)
This too is a major theme in my life. Ask my family or anyone who has worked with me for very long; they'll tell you!
I notice that with the sleep deprivation comes the self-dislike and guilt complex- okay, it makes it much worse. So I'm just trying to hang on and keep going. I know these are just feelings and not reality. Many people I work with say wonderful things about me (too nice if you ask me). So I must not suck (excuse my mouth, but it is how I feel) as much as I think. One foot in front of the other. My momma says (and I do remember this some) that she went through this. Some of my dear pals from school say that they have had the emotional rollercoaster feelings I'm feeling too. So, maybe it is just my age- cherish that thought. :) I know I have to just get through this time and it will pass. But right now, I don't want to live like this for a few more years.
I can take "medicine," which is what my friends at work keep telling me to do, and the doctor. So I tried it. Guess what, it makes me not sleep even more! Imagine that. So I quit.
Maybe I should not be so hard on myself. After all, this week brought with it a flat tire (I think I hit something that slit the tire) & all the excitement of finding transportation for my kids, having to ask for help from a coworker, more behavior issues to figure out at school (that list has gotten so long, it's disgusting!), flying by the seat of my pants all week long (even though I usually wear dresses) :) - okay, so I may be able to do it and no one else know it- but I do, forgetting my tennies & wearing flip-flops to school (YIKES!), hearing gunshots and being scared in my own home and (are you ready for this) then not sleeping well....
Trying to put it all in perspective, my kinderkids do love me and hang on me and play with me and laugh/kid/cut up with me & learn almost anything I present to them, and when I'm with them (even though their behaviors have been CHALLENGING) I feel God with me and know that I am in His will and that I am important to these little ones. When I think about my kids, I know I have done God's will and been a good mom. My kids are terrific!!! They are serving God, being a witness for Him, trying to live for Him, they do love us and help out a HUGE amount, are respectful to adults and us (usually-smile).... My husband loves me and says I'm his best friend. He has stood by me through thick and thin. My parents and sister love me and think highly of me.
So I'll just keep on putting one foot in front of the other for right now. Maybe with more prayer, some unisom, prayer, prayer, and a little more prayer, I'll get there. For right now, I'm tired and sorry. :)
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