Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to you all. I hope wherever you are, you will find God's love very near and that He will bless you in many ways!

Love,
Rebekah :)

Christmas Eve Eve

While I worked in the kitchen, Rob and the kids finished getting up the huge amount of leaves in our backyard.

Even still, at the end of December, there are leaves not fallen yet. Amazing!

Our Christmas tree this year, during the day

and at night

And that fire? We had quite a scare last night! We don't do fires very often, but when we do we usually use those paper/wax fire logs. We've had no problem with them, but we must have had a dud box last night. Rob put the log in, lit it, and within a couple minutes we had this HUGE, bordering-on-out-of-control fire. Very pretty, but very scary. The log was almost all wax, and we could see it just dripping down all over the bottom of the fireplace, and the wax all igniting. It was HUGE! Never felt that much heat off a fire log before. Thank God, Rob was able to put water on the floor of the fireplace and put out some of the wax burning on the bottom and it did finally die down to a normal amount. God looks out for stupid people- and we're walking proof of that!

Baking Busy-ness

I made it through the two hectic days of school to have two hectic days of baking. My kids and Rob helped me some too. :) We made lots of yummy treats to give away to neighbors, some restaurant workers, and a couple of the kids' friends' families.

So Rachael shared these DELICIOUS photos and recipes of Mounds candy. OH MY WORD, they looked good. I tried them and they are as good/better than they look!!!! Barbara and I made them- I rolled the balls and she added pecans.

Our table was covered in them! :)

Matthew helped me with melting the chocolate and dipping all those balls of coconut goodness.

Then the rest of the family got in on the action.

Rob even tried to dip some other things in the chocolate. :)

Rach, they are SOOOOOOOOOOOO good! Thank you for sharing the recipe. I love them!

These go by other names, but in our house, I've called them "snowball" cookies for years. Here they are on the pan ready to bake and then finished below. Probably my favorite cookie!

Who can forget pumpkin??? Pumpkin breads for neighbors and Trang's family and Rita's family. Plus a loaf or two for our Christmas morning brunch.

And my ever favorite dessert in the whole world- pumpkin pie! And, look Momma, these turned out pretty! :) No lopsided pie this time. :) hahaha

Random Ramblings

Today is my first day off from "the crazy place." :) :) :) Matthew and I got up and did the grocery run- Save-a-Lot and Walmart. My pantry is stocked up with lots of good food and tons of baking supplies. In a very little bit, I am going to start baking cookies and treats to take to our neighbors, Matthew's ENT, and to the Burger King morning crew. Long story, but there is a very sweet lady & man that work at a Burger King, and I promised them cookies. They were seriously excited! Funny, how little things can mean a lot.

As I paid for my food, I whispered a prayer to God- "Thank you Father for a job, for a way to provide food and other things I/my family want." If I hadn't gotten paid early I couldn't have gotten the food we needed and wanted. I was reminded of our past life when we went hungry sometimes and ate mostly ramen noodles. SOOOO thankful for God's help in our lives- then and now! Getting paid early is a nice treat, one which will bite me in the rear next month when we are tight again, but like Scarlett O'Hara, I won't think about that today- I'll think about that tomorrow. :)

I'm also going to think tomorrow or some other day or maybe never about the stupid teacher evaluation garbage our principal just emailed out. So sick of work! Now on top of everything else we have to do, we have to do our own evaluations too. And we are told we are working on being merely "developing" or "proficient." Yeah, because teachers are such rotten human beings now in our society and the reason for EVERY ill in the country. It isn't possible that we could actually be accomplished at what we do. I have to tell you, honestly, that being the scapegoat of society is not going to be fun, and that's what it feels like as a public school teacher right now. But this is another rant for another day, if I can ever get my ideas and thoughts organized I might write it. If not, well, Scarlett is my hero, so enough! :) hahahaha

I'm off to bake cookies! Hope you are having a great week!

After all these years, it still hurts.

I love this time of year! Love it! The months of October-December are by far my favorite as you have so much beauty to look at in the world, the holidays are coming, and then are here. I try to be thankful all year long, but am especially mindful of my blessings during this time.

I have to be honest though, that the holidays are hard too. I dread them being over, and though I feel silly, I always feel kind of disappointed when they have to end. If I had my way, they'd last into January - a natural way to keep the dark, dreary days of winter at bay. :)

Then I miss people from my past- miss them a lot. I try to not think about it much and keep it kind of in the back of my mind. After all, we have to live in the present, and I have SO MUCH to be thankful and grateful for- and I am!

I was doing great this year until yesterday when I saw a photo my Momma posted from her visit here at Thanksgiving. Matthew had put on his JROTC uniform for my folks and they got pictures with him. There was my Momma (about 5'4") with her giant of a grandson (6'5" or so). And it hit me. HARD. My daddy should see this. He should be here to talk to this young man. He should be getting a picture beside him. What would he say to Matthew? What would he think/feel about my son (and my other kids? and me? and Rob? and so on)??? It hurt so bad. Hasn't hurt that bad in a while. Then last night my sister posted her first "family" photos of her, her hubby, and their baby-not-born-but-in-its-momma's-tummy. I thought the same things. My daddy would be so proud of my sister! He would be thrilled about another grandchild being born. He would have another one to pick on, tease, chase, take fishing, sing to, love. And. he's. not. here.

I actually got mad at him. Again. Haven't done that in years. Why did he have to leave us? I hate him for leaving us. But I don't really hate him, just that he left. Wow, I was not expecting such a strong reaction after all these years.

Then today, I visited a coworker's church for their Christmas cantata, and of course there was that song- the one he sang at church his last Christmas- and I tried to keep the tears at bay. When I got in the car, of course, that song was playing on the radio, so I let myself have a small, short cry. I cried. I let myself remember good times, love and laughter, and I cried for the loss of it. I cried as I remembered my daddy, my Uncle Dorvin, my Grandpa Gerling, and a family that for whatever reasons just went away and will never really come back.

God, I miss my daddy, my uncle who used to tease me and love me and make me squeal in laughter, the one grandfather (who wasn't even "really" mine but loved me more than any other). I miss the family I had that went away when Daddy died, that I can never really have again. I hate death and dysfunction and the pain it causes people.

I know I'm a better teacher for having lost. I know I understand my students in ways I never would have without having experienced sorrow, loss, rejection. I am thankful, more than I can ever say, for the family you have left me and the family you have given me. I cherish them more, perhaps, than I would have. For that I am grateful. I am grateful for love, for having been loved, for having lost something good- it means I had something wonderful to begin with, which is more than many people ever have. And, God, I am thankful for who You are, that YOU love me, for who You have helped me to become, and for the love You have poured into my life through others.