Most Wonderful Mom Moment Ever!

Robert came home from his second job last night at 11:30. I was asleep in the recliner (stupid back). :) I woke up enough to say hello and was thinking I'd head back to sleep. Being "my" son and so much like me, he needed to talk, so I woke on up to listen. I am so glad I did!!!!!!

I had the most wonderful moment a mom could ever have, and I just sat there, in the dark, and listened to him and cried and held his hand, and oh my! I have never cried so many happy tears in all my life!!!!!! All I could think of was two things.

I may be a big fat slob (which I am, but not for the rest of my life). I may be not a nice person. I may be a lousy teacher by some's view. I may be not much to look at. I will never be of any importance or famous or well off. But, I (and Rob) did something good in this world, something right because that young man is ours!

All those hard times, and there have been many. All those years of sacrifice. Those "bad" years when our marriage was young, and we were oh so young, and trying to survive layoffs, no food, no money, three in diapers, both going to college and working while juggling three under the age of three (then three ages 1-4, ages 2-5...), all those days I had to load diaper pails into the wagon, strap two toddlers to the wagon handle with a walking "leash" for lack of better word, carry one baby on my hip and a diaper bag with diapers, extra clothes, snacks, toys, books and my own backpack of homework and walk with them and the wagon to the laundromat, all those days Rob & I would one of us be in class, and the other would bundle three babies/toddlers up in coats and hats and carry them all out to buckle them into car seats and drive to campus to trade so the other could get to class ten minutes later (and repeat that a couple times a day).......ALL that paid off.

I look back and then it didn't feel like it would ever end- it was just hard. I couldn't have imagined that I would raise such fine young people. I would never have known how much I would love these kids or how my heart would burst with pride at the young adults they would become.

My :) List for today is this: I am a mom of three amazing, wonderful, talented and maturing young adult children! That is more than enough for me!

Robert Michael Dale, Barbara Rose, and Matthew Lane, you just really have no idea how much you are loved by God, your parents and grandparents, your Aunt Jessica, your friends and many others.

And you have no idea how very, very proud your mom and dad are of you! But I pray that as you keep maturing into these amazing adults you are becoming, you will know two things: the absolutely profound and endless love & mercy of God first & FOREMOST. And that you will know how very deeply your parents love and cherish each of you. You are and always will be my greatest pride & joy! I will ALWAYS love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I could not be more proud of you than I am!

:)

Teach-iversary

Seventeen years ago I stepped into a public school classroom as a teacher for the first time. I was 23, a mother of three (ages 1, 3, 4), and excited but terrified at the same time. I had no clue what would come my way, the wide range of experiences I would get, the things I would see, or the places I would go. I didn't have any idea how much my heart would love the kids and families or how hard the heartbreaks would be or the amount of tears I would shed over things I saw/heard.

This year has, without a doubt, been the hardest one of my teaching life. I know I will only survive it with God's help, and without Him, I'd be having a nervous breakdown. To be honest, I really feel some burnout, but I know this is what God made me to be.

My very sweet parents had a beautiful flower bouquet delivered today to my school for my teachiversary. :) (I loved that word as soon as I made it up today!) I will post a photo tomorrow. It is full of pretty yellow & white daisies and other flowers and came in a cute yellow happy face mug! It was such a bright spot in a really rough day filled with a lot of behavior issues. Thanks Momma & Pop for the flowers, but most of all for being proud of me and for supporting me and what I do each day. It helps to know you are behind me!!! I'd never make it without the love & help of God, Rob, my parents, and my kids!!!

Here's to wherever the road is leading me next! As long as I have God guiding me, I know it will all work out for good. (I have to be honest, though, and admit that I wouldn't be upset if the path gets a little smoother- ;) wink, wink).

Today's smiles

I am exhausted from another night of very little sleep. Rob & I were both up at 4 AM after being up until about midnight. Ugh! I'm too old for that deal! :) I think I will call it an early night soon and pray for a good night's rest.

My :) List for today:

• Another sign of spring- storms are here this afternoon/evening- YEAH!!!! Oh how I love the rain and thunder and lightning! I take after my Momma that way. :)
• A nice, brief talk with our literacy coach today. She doesn't think I'm doing a horrible job, and gave me some positive feedback- a first this year and oh so nice to hear!!! She gave me some suggestions too which was also nice- real, practical suggestions based on a conversation or observation of what is actually going on in my world. :) Refreshing!!!
• Picking up my daughter from the college! Haven't done that in a week or two. We haven't gotten to spend much time together lately, and I have missed her a lot!
• Hugs from my daughter at the end of a rough afternoon- just what I needed was the love and support of my family!
• Homemade potato soup made by Robert waiting for us when we got home- yummy! AND "grown-up" grilled cheese sandwiches made by Rob AND tomatoes!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, I can't wait for tomatoes all summer! :)
• Our hardworking oldest son makes me so proud! Robert is working two jobs. Today he worked with the contractor all day, went from that job straight to the restaurant at 4 PM, will get off there and go straight back to work with the contractor & be painting at a local Walmart from 10 PM-7 AM, then report to another job & work another full day tomorrow before getting off finally tomorrow night. He just turned 21 and is not afraid to work hard. I did something right to have such a great young man as my son!!!!!!!!!!
• I will probably regret this in some way, but it is what it is. I'm wiped out. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. This year is kicking my backside! I have a lot of things that "need" to be done. Paperwork that is due or past due at work. Papers that I need to grade (just a small pile though), grad school work that I have to do, and oh so much more. You know what, though. I'm not doing it tonight! I'm going to go to read my Bible, crawl in bed and pray for some rest and relief and a day of being His light tomorrow. One more day, Father, one more day. I'll get there one foot in front of the other, one day at a time.

Sunday, Sunday

Spring is making its appearance it seems, and I hope it is here to stay. The weather is getting warmer, the daylight longer, the buds on trees in our neighborhood are starting to appear, and we are hearing more and more birds singing in the morning and evening. So nice!!!

Only three and one half months to survive. I can do all things through Christ. repeat. times. one hundred. :)

My mind has started its yearly "things I want to do differently next year" list, except it keeps saying, "Where will I be next year?" which makes it more difficult. But, learning is good, and I'm trying to not beat myself up too much for not having a perfect first year in this new grade. I just see so many mistakes and things I did that could have been better, or things I did not know and wish I had....

My :) List:

• Calling my Momma yesterday and having a nice LONG talk! :) :) :)
• I love laughing and making people laugh. I made Momma and myself laugh hysterically and that felt soooo good! BBB, Momma! ;)
• I went to bed early last night (well, early for me- 10 PM, and though I couldn't get to sleep right away, it was nice to be there relaxing and listening to my hubby snoring :) and just finally drifting off to sleep).
• Mandy (my pal from work) called us Friday night and invited Rob & I to join her and her parents at a nearby restaurant. That was so nice of them to include us and we enjoyed some being with some pretty nice people!
• Spring- my hyacinth is peeking out of the ground; can't wait to see the daffodils soon. :)
• Daylight- it is so much easier to get out of bed with a little light then in the dark (and it is already such a struggle to get out of bed to go to "that place" so that really does help!)
• Warm chocolate chip/nut cookies made for Robert (a belated birthday treat)- I only ate one too- yeah me!!!
• One more month in the year of hell about to be over! THANK YOU GOD for helping me get through it all!
• Zoe is the prettiest niece an aunt could ever see- I find myself telling her photo hello and good night every day, and sometimes when I can't focus on work or college work, I just stare at her picture on my laptop. :) I can't wait to meet her!!!
• Walking with Rob & Matthew and Samson this afternoon, and the last little bit we walked in a warm, gentle rain- so neat!
• Rob & I went shoe shopping together and found walking shoes on sale! :)
• most of all, God loves me- even me!

SERIOUSLY?????

Is it just me or does this just seem ridiculous??? Is it really possible that across the nation, in every state, in every large, urban center that all the lousy teachers are there and only there in those poor places? Really???? Give me a break!!!!!!!!!!!!