Pray for Kari

Please pray for this family. The situation is very grave.

Thinking of You

Here it is again, the day of the year I like least. March 25. I tried to not think about it today, and had plenty of other not-so-much-fun things to occupy my mind at work. And I know it's stupid to say it here to you- like you can read a dumb blog in heaven. :) hahahaha That is funny to think of. :) You, up there, in some heaven-internet cafe. ;) I crack me up sometimes. :)

Even though you left us a long time ago you are still missed. This year your youngest grandson will graduate from high school. And though he doesn't "know" you personally, he wants to go in the military like you and his Papa. You influenced him somehow even though you were gone. Kind of cool, huh? I think of you often, even after all these years, but I'll be thinking of you more in the next few months as I prepare for the "baby" of our family's graduation and possible enlistment. Oh, how I wish you could know your grandchildren. I wish you could be there for Jessica and could know her daughter. I find myself mad at you again lately since Zoe was born. But, I know that's silly too.

Mostly I just think of you and wish you could know us and our kids and our husbands. But life is funny, God is good, and He has taken care of us.

Anyway, just a note to some dead dude in heaven to say you are still loved and thought of and missed even now so many years later.

With much love, your daughter,

Rebekah :)

God smiled in my classroom

I know it might sound silly to those who don't know me, and maybe to some who do, but I walked around my classroom this week during benchmarks and just prayed silently, in my head, for each child as they began their tests this week, each day. I prayed that God would help them not become frustrated or overwhelmed. I prayed that He would give them peace and wisdom and help them to know what to do, what the questions/problems were asking for, and know how to solve them.

And, right there in my public school classroom, I felt God's presence with me. I knew that He was smiling down on us. No songs in the background, no band playing, no "holy" stuff from church or people saying things that church people say that, to be perfectly honest, often annoy me (and yes, I know I'm wrong for that, but I'm being honest here). No hallelujah's or "praise the Lord's" or anything. Just a teacher walking her room, and the sound of pencils scratching on paper. But there was God among a group of kids in a down & out school with their obese, big-mouth, struggling third grade teacher. And I'm not quite sure, but I think God might have been smiling with me in pride at how far my kids have come.

Third graders, I know you'll never see this, but your Mrs. Thomas ABSOLUTELY WITH EVERYTHING IN HER ADORES YOU and always will!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today the "judgment" already started and tomorrow is a full day of listening to/talking about how bad our scores are and how much we failed and how bad we are and "what are you going to do about it..." Knowing me, after a few hours of this, I'll probably get disgusted and fed up and go home a little (or a lot) angry. But I'm hoping I can remember that for a little while this week, God smiled down on us.

My kids and I have grown, we have worked hard, we have all learned about life, about third grade stuff, about how to learn and how to teach and how to grow as a person. I think, no, I KNOW that my kids and I are better people for working together, though it has been a hard growing time for many of us. Those are things that matter. The "people" above me have to look at numbers, but in the end, my kids are just numbers to them. My kids are, and always will be, people whose faces and personalities are engraved on my heart. I will carry little bits of them with me throughout my life, and I hope they will carry part of me with them wherever they go. That is what being a true teacher is about. Not some test score.

Benchmarks Day 1 and a big I Like Me thought

Day one of third quarter benchmarks are behind us. I will leave the judgement to those higher than me or to my colleagues who will decide how successful or unsuccessful my students and I were. I'm sure to be notified by one or both of those groups sooner or later.

As for my opinion, I was PROUD PROUD PROUD of my kids today. I was, quite literally, moved to tears by the level of effort I saw in my room, the amount of hard work I saw, the perseverance I saw displayed by all my kids. They made me proud long before I got the scores. And that hard work, perseverance and effort did pay off in some big improvements for many and almost all of my kids went up from last quarter's scores.

Take that you stupid test! Take that school district. The kids and I really don't care what you have to say!!!! I taught my heart out and they worked their hardest. So there. :P

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

And my other thought for the day is this. Allow me to introduce myself, in case you hadn't met me before.

My name is Rebekah. To a very small few, I am sometimes called Beka. To a very few, special cousins, I am BekaBoo. I am also "Mom" or "Mommy." During the day you might hear me referred to as Mrs. Thomas or Mrs. T.

Who I am not?

• Miss Perfect whose room and home is pristine, whose lesson plans are wonderful, whose husband, children, home, nails, clothes, oh generally everything is exactly as she wants it to be. Who looks perfect and knows she is such a wonderful human being. I have a big butt, great children who are NOT perfect, a house that is never quite clean enough with floors you would definitely not want to eat off of, and am way too big mouthed & sensitive, and too many other faults to ever be this person.

• Miss I am God's Gift- I can never be her. She is a notch about Miss Perfect and she knows it.

• Miss Organized- I could never be her either. I've moved too many times, have taught to many things, and accumulated too much stuff. Add to that, living in a smaller home and having most of my teaching things in storage, running three million directions on any given day to pick up & deliver various young people to work, school, church or other places, grad school, and who knows what else- well, I'm just not to her level either, and likely will never be.

• Miss Know-a-Lot - This lady is cousin to "Miss Know It All" - she may or may not be as obnoxious as her cousin depending on the day. I could try to do this, I suppose, but I know, only too well, what I do not know and how much that is. I would be such a liar if I even tried to act like this.

• Miss You Should Do What I Do/Say/Think/Feel- I don't know why, but I just don't care if you agree with me or do what I say/think/feel. You are free to be different. Please allow me to be also. Now, this might not necessarily apply to my children. ;) hahahaha Just kidding!

• Miss Smug/Arrogant/Want-to-Impress, Shmooz- This person is only interested in appearances and how she can advance herself through dressing fine, kissing up, and looking good to her higher ups- but doesn't care one iota how she treats those beneath her.

I am just me, Rebekah, Mom, Mrs. T, Beka... big mouthed, VERY loud laugher, too sensitive at times, waaaay too critical of myself (could be called a self-hater but I'm working on that), hugger extaordinaire.

But I'll tell you what kind of teacher/mom I am- Miss I Love Them All!!!! And guess what, I like that about me, and I am NOT going to change that one little itty bit!!!! So no matter what judgment heads my way on Friday or any other day coming up, I'm going in with this little chip on my shoulder. I may not be "as good" as the rest of them, but I am not changing who I am. I am going to teach my kids for life, not for the test. I am going to hug and love them all, and know that is what is truly important to their lifelong success. I am going to like me too- no matter what!

Benchmark Prayers

This week will be the third quarter benchmark exams at our school. Please pray for the students of my school. They need your prayers, and so do all the teachers who are getting a lot of pressure and negativity. And so do those who are doing the pressuring and negativity as they are feeling it from higher up too.

Some of my third grade friends have an especially hard time during benchmark testing, and it affects them and the whole class, making it harder for us all to focus and do our best. Please pray for peace to fill my classroom and my children's hearts and minds.

I would also appreciate prayer because I have a sick back, and I am in a great deal of pain. Last week was rough, and I am hurting so much today I can hardly move. Without God's help, it will be a long, miserable week.

Thanks!