A Special Pair of Glasses

This one is for my family who has to put up with me, my friends, Kristen & Erin, and my principal who hired me not knowing what she was getting into. :) Just kidding!!!!

I wear glasses- have for a few years now. I have slightly less than perfect vision. Not a big deal, I use my glasses, and when they're not broken or dirty (a family joke) I can see pretty well. But, I think I may need a special pair of glasses.

You see, Rebekah doesn't always see herself the way everyone else does. Apparently, when it comes to me, I am very near-sighted. :) I know this is a common problem and that many people in my family and around me have the same issue. I have gotten a lot better than I used to be about this topic of discussion, BUT sometimes I can be really bad about it still. Like when I'm tired or am having my sleep problems, or when I'm feeling under pressure, or when I'm sick, or when someone in my family or a coworker is upset/irritated/angry/crabby/etc./etc./etc.

My momma, my husband, a few of my principals/supervisors, coworkers, acquaintances, friends, and now, even my children have told me that I'm "too hard on" myself, I need to "give myself a break," or other such sentiments. Recently my principal said that she wished she could give me a special pair of glasses that would enable me to see myself the way those around me did. I think my mother has said this same thing to me too. I've thought a lot about this in the past few weeks, and I wish she could give me those glasses too. I might not have to use them all the time, but maybe when I needed them, I could pull them out.

I know I'm a good teacher, a good wife, a good daughter, a good mom, a good_________ (fill in the blank)..., but my problem is that I want to be more than just a good___. I hate when I let people down or feel like I might have. I hate when I mess up or make mistakes or do something I shouldn't have or don't do what I ought to have...

One thing that has helped me a lot is being a mom. Seeing my kids grow up into the wonderful, Christian, responsible, respectful, helpful, intelligent, and funny young adults they are becoming has helped me realize that this is a result of what Rob & I have done with God's help- believe me, a lot of that! :) I need to (and do) take full credit for my part in raising them. I can hold my head up high when it comes to that objective in my life.

I do think I am getting better because I can say some nice things about myself now, and I couldn't have done that when I started teaching or parenting. It's just some days or weeks, I can clearly see just how far I still have to go. Guess that's why the Bible talks about "running the race..." So for now, I'll just keep my eyes on the course that's been set before me, trying to get up each day and put one foot in front of the other, keep my focus on Him and the tasks He has given me (being a Godly mom & wife, a good daughter and sister, and the best teacher I can be (not perfect, just my personal best). And if, I'm a bit "near-sighted" about myself, please be patient with me. I'll get there someday, maybe. If not, well, maybe it's okay. I mean, the world needs some "special" people in it to make life more interesting. :)

Signing off,
Nearsighted Rebekah :)

Noah

Today I saw a miracle! One of my coworkers, Maria, brought her 4 month old baby boy, Noah, by the school to see us for a little bit. That may not sound like that big a deal, but Noah has been through more than most adults have even thought of going through in his four months of life. He was born with a serious heart defect and underwent heart surgery when just a few days old. After being on the heart transplant list for just a few days, Noah received his new heart. He just came home a few days ago, and today came to school to see his mommy's workplace and meet her coworkers.

Maria even let me hold him, and he let me hold him for a long time. I just talked and talked to him, and he kept his beautiful eyes on me the whole time! He is BEAUTIFUL! Noah has the prettiest eyelashes I've ever seen- so long!

And, Maria- well she is just a wonderful mom!!!!! When a lot of people might have given up on Noah early on in that pregnancy, Maria hung in there and decided to bring him into this world! She had a hard pregnancy, and I know it must have been harder than I could ever imagine. Then to deal with all the medical problems, complications, steps forward, and then setbacks... Today, she was explaining and answering all of our questions about Noah's care. She has TONS- seriously, more than I could even count- of meds she has to give him at different times of the day. She has her own stethoscope and does a lot of the medical care - like today she had to take out his feeding tube and put in a new one. YIKES!!! I know you do what you have to do, but that has to be so hard on her!!!

Well, thanks God for letting little Noah live and survive all these things. Thanks for giving him parents that believe in the value of life and who cared about him enough to love him through the pregnancy and these hard months. Thanks for Noah!

(And on a selfish note, thanks for letting me get to hold that precious little baby boy- your miracle baby for Maria & Tim & Autumn.)