To Scream or Not To Scream

I yelled this week. I realize that's no earth-shattering statement and to my family probably not a shocker, but it surprised an entire cafeteria full of kids and adults when I politely said to my neighbor at the lunch table, "Excuse me for bellowing in your ear, but..........." I proceeded to yell across the cafeteria to a student to sit down. It certainly did get the kids' attention, but more so, the adults there. They were all commenting for the rest of the week about their shock and surprise at me raising my voice and yelling.

Hope that is a good thing about me- that I don't yell often. We had a big debate one day recently about whether yelling at children is a good thing or not. A lot of people around think that yelling is a way to motivate kids; but I disagree! Of course, God knows, I've yelled at my own three kids, but I don't think that is the best way. Sure, it gets their attention, but I don't think it really solves anything. I mean, my kinderkids stopped their moments of "insanity" when I yelled, but within just a few minutes, they were right back to the craziness at their lunch table.

I've watched a particular third grader this year- been trying to be a positive influence in his life. His teacher yells a lot! I mean, really, a lot! I know the kid's no saint himself, and that he instigates a lot of trouble just out of a sense of power/control and to show he's "tough." But, he hasn't given me any trouble, and maybe I'm just naive or dumb, but I think when you show kids respect and love, they are more likely to give respect and kindness back.

I hear a lot about "the kids at Allen Jay"- all from the teachers around our school. They think our school is some kind of ghetto-type school, which I can say it is NOT! We do have some kids who are rough and tough, and I do think there is a lot disrespect there, but I also think that we have a lot of staff who don't give respect to the kids. I wish there was a way to get them to understand that although we are adults and children should respect their elders, it doesn't mean that we can treat kids however we want and they will still respect us. You have to sow some seeds of love, kindness, fairness- respect, if you want to reap it.

So I will keep on trying to treat kids the way I want to be treated, and to show, by example, the adults around our school that kids can be "good"- even the "bad" ones they've labeled!

Stop the World, I Want to Get Off

I'm so tired and GROUCHY!!!!!!!!!! I am sick of school & a certain baseball coach right now, and sick to death of people who scream and yell and treat kids lousy!!! My throat hurts, my foot hurts, and I've hurt my finger somehow. My cell phone won't work right, and my glasses sit crookedly on my face so I look like a complete moron. :) My desk is completely (I exaggerate not) covered and there are piles on the floor all under and around my desk. Stuff is starting to slide off, but I can't get it cleaned after school because we keep having stupid meetings and then I have to leave to pick up my kids from school. On top of all that, I'm really homesick after talking to both my parents tonight. I want to crawl into bed and pull the blankets up to my chin, close the door, turn on the fan to drown out the noise and just stay there. I can't even say to myself, "summer is almost here, and I can relax." I will be working two sessions of summer school this summer plus taking on the grade level chair/leadership position (no extra pay; lots of extra hassle & work) and trying to get mentor training to be a mentor this fall, not to mention my usual summer planning & prep work that gets done to be ready for the fall & a new school year.

Right now, I feel like I stink! If I didn't have to live with myself, well I wouldn't want to right now. I feel like such a grouch on the inside. I'm trying not to let it show on the outside, but I don't think I'm doing a good job of it.

Stop the world! I really want to get off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's Okay, No It's Not

I was reminded today of the lesson my "kinder-child" taught me a couple weeks ago.

Today, it was my turn to say those words, "It's okay. Okay?" to a little one in my room whose mother is very ill. Only it's not okay, and it's not chickens we're talking about. I knew it, but I was hoping the message would help her as it had helped me. I don't think she understood, which reminds me, once again, that those words were meant for me and that it really was God speaking through a five year old child.

God, now it's her in need. Please give me a message, in some language, that my kinder will be able to understand. 'Cuz right now hugging her, holding her, and loving her doesn't seem like much, and it won't make her mommy be okay or help her to understand it all.

It's not okay, God!