The Kids Reminisce

This morning, while we were eating, Robert started taking us down memory lane. He said something positive about how dad helped him learn long division when he was struggling to understand the concept. It was so funny, because my memory of that was not a "positive, dad helping and Robert learning" kind of memory. The memory I have of those lessons is of a much more painful, frustrating, aggravating, blood-pressure raising experience by both parents and son.

The other day when I picked Barbara up from school, she asked me "Mom, was I a bad little kid?" When I asked her why she would ask/think that, she said one of her teachers was talking about how few times she had to spank her own children, and Barbara realized that she got lots more than that. We were talking about that today too. We all laughed about their growing up and the good & not-so-good memories, but even in the not-so-pleasant ones, they talked very positively about it. They seemed to realize that they weren't perfect, but really good kids and that we were trying to help them.

As we all talked, it made me realize that my kids seem to view their childhood & their parents in a positive light, well at least most of it, it seems. That made me feel so much better to know that they remember their growing up years as good & their parents as not horrible, child-beating, screaming, ranting & raving lunatics. :)

I positively, absolutely, with-everything-in-me ADORE my children!!!!!!!!

Fat People Have Feelings

It's not my week for shopping! Earlier this week, the greeter at Walmart stopped Barbara & me at the door and did everything but out & out accuse us of stealing. She was just about to call for "backup" when our cashier even came down and vouched for us, at which point she got all ugly on the cashier too. She very begrudgingly let us go, but made it clear she thought I was stealing something- where she thought it was hidden, I don't know! It was a very unpleasant experience. Rob met us at Walmart after I called him, and he went in, walked right up to the greeter and told her she should "be nice" and showed her my receipt and then complained to management about it.

But today, I left Save-a-Lot, where I always grocery shop, in tears. I am either not going shopping anymore and let Rob do it all or I am going to print a sign that I wear on my backside when I shop. I mean it- I've had it!!!!!

Today, as I stood there with my daughter unloading our groceries onto the belt, the customer behind us and her daughter were talking about something. The daughter started to go behind us out of the aisle, so I tried to scoot up as far as I could so she could get by. Now I should also say that this was a teen aged girl who was not exactly thin herself, she was certainly chubbier than my own daughter would even think of being- a "big girl" herself. She took one look at me (not a nice look either) and turned back around and said something to her mom and they both started laughing loudly! Then she went to her dad who was a couple aisles over talking to someone and said something at which he said, "Yeah, have you ever seen one THAT big???" The people standing there all started laughing hysterically and looking my way. That was bad enough, but then he comes down to his wife, both look at me, and he says really loudly "No girl, yours isn't that big, neither one of you, not anywhere near that big. Didn't know they could be that big." He's looking right at me now. Again, this got big laughs from his wife, daughter, and all the other shoppers standing around. I was so embarrassed. I thought of some things I could have said, like "I'm fat, not deaf." or "Lard a---- people have feelings you know." or "Just because my a--- is big, doesn't mean I can't hear you or that I'm so stupid I don't know what you're talking about." It was humiliating!!!!!

I seriously want to rent a billboard, put pictures of HUGE people like me on it, and the words "Fat people have feelings too." Oh, it just hurts. I know I did this to myself, and I deserve it, but still. I would never do that to anyone.

First Days & Backaches

Made it through another "first day" of school. It was a rather stressful and eventful morning in my classroom with some screaming, hitting, kicking, and punching, but it will get better I know. I left today hunched over and trying to stand up straight and HURTING!!!!!!!!!!! I broke down and called the dr. to ask for something to help me make it until I see someone else... yeah, that didn't go so well. I have to just be tough and "be patient" until I can get an appointment with the neurosurgeon. I'm so sick of dr.'s visits, tests, and waiting, but I'm trying my best to be patient. Mostly I just want to feel good and be done with all these aforementioned items and the bills that come with them.

Signing off for tonight, this is one pooped K teacher,
Rebekah :)

God is so awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!

On the eve of another BIG medical appointment, with yet another new doctor, I'm not too terribly nervous, but I am dreading tomorrow. That combined with more work than I can get done in time for the first day of school and missing a big chunk of tomorrow's work day is not helping me any.

But of all places, God showed me a scripture on Facebook tonight as I did a quick check to see if I could raise my sister on there- I can't hardly believe it! This was just what I needed. I may not have caught my sister online, but I did find God. :)

Psalm 94:18 & 19 "When I thought, 'My foot slips,' Your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up. When the cares of my heart are many, Your consolations cheer my soul."