Today as we drove home from the grocery store, one of my young people told me about a teacher (who shall remain nameless here) informing them about the legality of oral sex in NC. Let me say this was NOT the social studies or civics teacher where, though I would have been upset by this it would have at least made some sort of contextual sense. It was in a class where they had finished up their work and were just talking about stupid laws with the teacher.
Okay, I know I'm terribly old-fashioned in some ways to my kids and to one in particular, very out-dated, but of all the stupid laws a teacher could have talked about- THAT ONE????!!!!! UGH!
I was told, "We are almost adults Mom!" I know, but still that just somehow seems inappropriate to me. I don't discuss this or even hear this discussed amongst adults at the places I have worked. If I want my kids to know that, I'll tell them thank you very much. Who cares about that when we are supposed to be teaching them how to read, write, spell, communicate with others, think critically, make decisions, work cooperatively with others, know about the history of the world and about people.... Well, I guess oral sex fits in somewhere there- maybe it goes under communication or knowing about people... I don't know, but once again I'm very disappointed with the state of education. It hurts even more since I am an educator.
This stuff just brings me down. And it hurts to know my child thinks I am stupid, dumb, or weird to think this is out of line. Any time now, Lord, any time...
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Giving Thanks
I taught my kids last week that Thanksgiving is two words- I know this is not news to anyone out there, but it is to a five or six year old, so give me a break. :)
So now it's my time to give thanks:
Happy Thanks-giving God. Thank You for all You are!
Rebekah
So now it's my time to give thanks:
- Jesus- yeah, there are not words enough to say thanks to Him, and though I can't just say "Oh thanks God" and leave it at that, well I could never write enough to say thanks to the Creator, the Savior, the One who knows it all, our Provider, the One I run to in the good times & the bad (oh, especially do I bug Him in the bad)- Let me make You proud
- love- Jesus', my family's, my students'
- family- my parents (living & gone) that loved me, raised me, and supported me all these years of my life so far; my husband who has stuck with me through it all and still is; three wonderful children of my own who have taught me lots about life & about God; a sister who loves me & now a brother-in-law to meet in a few days who will hopefully like us
- a job that allows me to provide for my family & that allows me to use the talents He gave me to their fullest (well, maybe not this year but normally)
- all the hugs, smiles, waves, and more I get daily at work- these make even the hardest day better and some days just what I need to get through another day. It means so much to me to know that I mean something to a child. Let me always mean something to a child, and let the love I give away grow a hundred-fold in their lives to bring them to You and to a wonderful life.
- food in the house (I am ever so aware of this blessing as we didn't always have a full cupboard or frig and though I didn't starve or come anywhere near close, Rob & I both know what it's like to go hungry to feed your kids)
- a warm place to live (We've lived in some crummy places and seen some "interesting" things, so I'm thankful for such a great rental home and one that is way warmer than what we lived in while in Iowa!)
- in just a few short weeks, our OWN HOME, our 1st home, a nicer home that will be OURS!!!!! (again, I could write a novel about this, but will just say thanks!)
- nice vehicles (wow, yeah, only those who have known Rob & I for years would completely understand this one- how far God has brought us from the days of the "white trash teacher car" to now having two new vehicles!!! That is a miracle from above!)
- clothes to wear & not be going around completely showing my ugliness - the world says Thank You also God :)
- the world which shows its God-given beauty in so many ways- from new, green leaves & grass (there is no more beautiful green in the world to me than a field of new winter wheat) to the splendor of autumn's color show, to fresh-fallen snow (not messed up yet by us people), to the mountains which stick their heads up and point the way to heaven, to the prairie which spreads its beauty out filled with gorgeous wind-blown grasses & wildflowers, to the gentle grace & fragile beauty of a butterfly opening its wings ever so lightly as it drinks from a flower, to the ocean which ebbs & flows at His hand and constantly thunders (I believe God's praise) & has such power in its grasp, to the sunrise & sunset- each day we have a beautiful painted canvas above us to enjoy, one that is unique and not to be repeated ever again
- all the times God has been with me in my still not-too-long life- if I were to list those, well I couldn't. I can't think of a time when God has not been with me. Just times when I felt like He wasn't or didn't see Him there, but then I always get further down this road & look back and can see that He really was and He really cared for me even while I was questioning, sad & scared, stressed & overwhelmed, definitely not at my best, He never left my side
- freedom- what more can be said than that- freedom is such a gift & I know that I was blessed to be born in a land where we are free to come & go, say & do what we please, choose our own futures/spouses/residences/lives
- memories of many good times & even the bad as they help me to be more appreciative of the good
- true friends- though I've only had a few that were really good & "true" friends to me & they or I have come & gone from each other's lives- I am thankful for their friendship- Tanise, Deb, & Amanda and Sue all from Rock Island will always hold a place in my heart. Here in NC, I came to adore Kristen & we were such a great team, though I miss her daily I am so thankful You allowed our paths to cross for those two short years
God, if I died today (not that I want to die today) I would die a blessed person, and I can't let temporary circumstances get the better of me and make me less than I ought to be. Thank You for all these blessings and so many, many more that I could never list them all.
Happy Thanks-giving God. Thank You for all You are!
Rebekah
Monday, November 24, 2008
a boulder, a pebble, a grain of sand- a lesson for rebekah
I grew up in the Midwest, land of the mighty Mississippi & corn. The closest I ever got to seeing the ocean was when my hubby & I took the kids camping at Lake Michigan- wow! that was amazing- water for as far you could see.
But that was nothing compared to a cold day in March 2005, when a not-so-thrilled husband took me across an unknown land called North Carolina to see the ocean both of us thinking "we'll never be back here again so we might as well see it now." That was one act of sacrifice Rob made for me, not too happily, but nonetheless he did it anyway as he knew how badly I wanted to see it.
WOW! Now THAT was amazing! The water was COLD and the sound was awesome! I even saw surfers out that day, which I thought was really cool. I didn't know people surfed anywhere except the west coast & Hawaii. :) :) :)
Then, a few months later we moved to North Carolina after all, and we spent the last of our moving money to take the kids to see the ocean & to visit the warship my grandfather fought on in WWII. All the way out there, one of my kids kept making comments about how it wasn't a big deal, just a big bunch of water.... until, he too saw it. I heard his gasp as he walked over the dune & the grass and saw the ocean for the first time.
What I learned that second trip is just how powerful the ocean is. I couldn't hardly stand up in the surf. Now I know I have lousy balance & that was a lot of it, and I'm not exactly a small or in-shape person & that was a lot of it, but still the waves have so much power to knock you down, pull you in or out depending on what they want to do. I've since read about riptides more too as I sometimes see the warnings for the coast about strong riptide currents... Yeah, those waves may be beautiful but they can be dangerous and deadly.
So, now, today I'm thinking about the waves and the ocean and their power. I've seen lots of pictures of places where the waves come in and slam into the rocks and create huge splashes of water. Where we visited the ocean, the water just rolls in and flows over the sand. The sand moves in and out with the water, not resisting, but just letting the water move it. There's a lesson here- a few actually, I think.
As we walked along the beach we found all kinds of broken shells and small pebbles, all worn smooth from the action of the water. Some were quite pretty, but they didn't get to be so smooth and beautiful though from just being that way. It was months and months, who knows maybe years or even decades of being washed over, slammed into, and worn by the water & waves. Okay, so maybe I'm weird, but I think about one of those pebbles or, wow- even a grain of sand that was once a big boulder perhaps. What did they look like before the waves came into their life? Were they just a big pile or a high, hard wall sitting on the coast somewhere? How far had they journeyed to get to the NC coast? What storms did they go through in the ocean before they landed on this beach? And what now of their life? In & of themselves, they are just some tiny little pebble or grain of sand, but together with the other millions of pieces of sand and pebble and shell, they are a beautiful beach where living things find a home and thousands of people come to see the glory (whether they know it or not- God's glory) and wonder of the ocean.
So, how does this apply to me?
I've been sitting here looking up verses about the waves & ocean & sand. Don't know exactly why except that I know there's a lesson here for me, that's been waiting for three years to come out.
I see countless verses in the Bible throughout the Old & New Testaments where it talks about how God controls the waves & the sea. He is the Creator, so it stands to reason that He controls them.
Sometimes, God creates the waves. And if I've learned anything about Him, it's that there is always some lesson, some reason for what He does.
Psalm 107: 25, 28-30 "...For he spoke and stirred up a tempest that lifted high the waves... Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble, and he brought them out of their distress. He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven..."
So, why would He put storms and waves into my life? Maybe it's because of something I've done- a natural consequence of my own actions. Maybe it's to get my attention focused back on Him or to remind me to watch Him more closely. Maybe it's because I need to rely on Him more and me less. Maybe it's because He needs to guide me to the "desired haven" & I can't get there on my own. Maybe it's because it's just life- yeah, that's probably often the case & I didn't see it at the time, but "life" happens to us all.
Here's what I do know. Those waves smash into the tiny rocks and big boulders & high cliffs all the same. Over time, those waves have a cumulative effect of weathering and wearing down a rock, or pebble, or even those giant cliffs. They get worn down, smoothed out, and made into something smoother, prettier and less rough around the edges. They lose their individuality in some ways, I guess, but they are able to become part of a whole that serves a greater purpose than that one rock or boulder by itself. I mean no one would go walking around on a beach made of sharp, jagged stones that would cut your feet- well few of us would anyway. And when the waves of life come, the small pebbles and grains of sand are able to just move with God's flow and go where He wants them to be.
I don't want to be a hard-headed, stubborn, self-reliant person that can't lean on God. I need Him to come weather down some more rough edges in my life (yeah, I know what some of them are & I'm sure there are some more He's just waiting to show me when I can handle it or when the time is right). So I guess that means that I ride some of these waves of life and go with it until this storm is over- be it a storm of $, storm of health, storm of hormones, or whatever. I guess it doesn't really matter if I even know the source or why it's storming does it? All that matters is that the great Creator is with me in it all, and He won't let me drown and that He'll use these rougher times to create a better, prettier, less jagged-edged Rebekah that can serve His purpose better.
God, once again I surrender the rudder to you. I don't like storms and difficulties, but I know You are with me even when I don't see You, feel You, or get the answer I want or think I need. Please guide me through these waves to the haven You have chosen for me. Help me to make it through without totally losing my cookies (yeah, there's that pride again, huh Lord?) It sure does keep creeping in there. I think that's truly the problem. It's not so much the storm as I don't want to lose control of my emotions or let others know that I'm not okay. I'm scared of being judged (have already been so by a few), don't want to "look" like less than a wonderful person.... Yeah, so that's the lesson here isn't it? I guess the sooner I swallow all that pride, the sooner this one will end. At least I hope so.
Until You guide me home in the end, I'm relying on You,
Rebekah
But that was nothing compared to a cold day in March 2005, when a not-so-thrilled husband took me across an unknown land called North Carolina to see the ocean both of us thinking "we'll never be back here again so we might as well see it now." That was one act of sacrifice Rob made for me, not too happily, but nonetheless he did it anyway as he knew how badly I wanted to see it.
WOW! Now THAT was amazing! The water was COLD and the sound was awesome! I even saw surfers out that day, which I thought was really cool. I didn't know people surfed anywhere except the west coast & Hawaii. :) :) :)
Then, a few months later we moved to North Carolina after all, and we spent the last of our moving money to take the kids to see the ocean & to visit the warship my grandfather fought on in WWII. All the way out there, one of my kids kept making comments about how it wasn't a big deal, just a big bunch of water.... until, he too saw it. I heard his gasp as he walked over the dune & the grass and saw the ocean for the first time.
What I learned that second trip is just how powerful the ocean is. I couldn't hardly stand up in the surf. Now I know I have lousy balance & that was a lot of it, and I'm not exactly a small or in-shape person & that was a lot of it, but still the waves have so much power to knock you down, pull you in or out depending on what they want to do. I've since read about riptides more too as I sometimes see the warnings for the coast about strong riptide currents... Yeah, those waves may be beautiful but they can be dangerous and deadly.
So, now, today I'm thinking about the waves and the ocean and their power. I've seen lots of pictures of places where the waves come in and slam into the rocks and create huge splashes of water. Where we visited the ocean, the water just rolls in and flows over the sand. The sand moves in and out with the water, not resisting, but just letting the water move it. There's a lesson here- a few actually, I think.
As we walked along the beach we found all kinds of broken shells and small pebbles, all worn smooth from the action of the water. Some were quite pretty, but they didn't get to be so smooth and beautiful though from just being that way. It was months and months, who knows maybe years or even decades of being washed over, slammed into, and worn by the water & waves. Okay, so maybe I'm weird, but I think about one of those pebbles or, wow- even a grain of sand that was once a big boulder perhaps. What did they look like before the waves came into their life? Were they just a big pile or a high, hard wall sitting on the coast somewhere? How far had they journeyed to get to the NC coast? What storms did they go through in the ocean before they landed on this beach? And what now of their life? In & of themselves, they are just some tiny little pebble or grain of sand, but together with the other millions of pieces of sand and pebble and shell, they are a beautiful beach where living things find a home and thousands of people come to see the glory (whether they know it or not- God's glory) and wonder of the ocean.
So, how does this apply to me?
I've been sitting here looking up verses about the waves & ocean & sand. Don't know exactly why except that I know there's a lesson here for me, that's been waiting for three years to come out.
I see countless verses in the Bible throughout the Old & New Testaments where it talks about how God controls the waves & the sea. He is the Creator, so it stands to reason that He controls them.
Sometimes, God creates the waves. And if I've learned anything about Him, it's that there is always some lesson, some reason for what He does.
Psalm 107: 25, 28-30 "...For he spoke and stirred up a tempest that lifted high the waves... Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble, and he brought them out of their distress. He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven..."
So, why would He put storms and waves into my life? Maybe it's because of something I've done- a natural consequence of my own actions. Maybe it's to get my attention focused back on Him or to remind me to watch Him more closely. Maybe it's because I need to rely on Him more and me less. Maybe it's because He needs to guide me to the "desired haven" & I can't get there on my own. Maybe it's because it's just life- yeah, that's probably often the case & I didn't see it at the time, but "life" happens to us all.
Here's what I do know. Those waves smash into the tiny rocks and big boulders & high cliffs all the same. Over time, those waves have a cumulative effect of weathering and wearing down a rock, or pebble, or even those giant cliffs. They get worn down, smoothed out, and made into something smoother, prettier and less rough around the edges. They lose their individuality in some ways, I guess, but they are able to become part of a whole that serves a greater purpose than that one rock or boulder by itself. I mean no one would go walking around on a beach made of sharp, jagged stones that would cut your feet- well few of us would anyway. And when the waves of life come, the small pebbles and grains of sand are able to just move with God's flow and go where He wants them to be.
I don't want to be a hard-headed, stubborn, self-reliant person that can't lean on God. I need Him to come weather down some more rough edges in my life (yeah, I know what some of them are & I'm sure there are some more He's just waiting to show me when I can handle it or when the time is right). So I guess that means that I ride some of these waves of life and go with it until this storm is over- be it a storm of $, storm of health, storm of hormones, or whatever. I guess it doesn't really matter if I even know the source or why it's storming does it? All that matters is that the great Creator is with me in it all, and He won't let me drown and that He'll use these rougher times to create a better, prettier, less jagged-edged Rebekah that can serve His purpose better.
God, once again I surrender the rudder to you. I don't like storms and difficulties, but I know You are with me even when I don't see You, feel You, or get the answer I want or think I need. Please guide me through these waves to the haven You have chosen for me. Help me to make it through without totally losing my cookies (yeah, there's that pride again, huh Lord?) It sure does keep creeping in there. I think that's truly the problem. It's not so much the storm as I don't want to lose control of my emotions or let others know that I'm not okay. I'm scared of being judged (have already been so by a few), don't want to "look" like less than a wonderful person.... Yeah, so that's the lesson here isn't it? I guess the sooner I swallow all that pride, the sooner this one will end. At least I hope so.
Until You guide me home in the end, I'm relying on You,
Rebekah
Sunday, November 23, 2008
A Wedding
God,
It's me again. There's a wedding today in Galena, Illinois. It's my sister's. Where am I? Here in North Carolina. God, do you know how much this hurts?
I know it's not about me, so all I can do is let the tears flow and ask You to bless the two of them. Give them a long life filled with joy, love, laughter, and You. Bless them with their hearts' desires and help them to grow closer to You and to each other as the years pass.
And on a selfish note, help me to get my "stuff" stuffed back in to its places here in a few minutes before I have to go to church. I kind of doubt that the parents of the infant nursery will want to leave their precious babies in the arms of a blubbering, hysterical, emotional idiot such as me.
Your somewhat crazy child,
Rebekah
It's me again. There's a wedding today in Galena, Illinois. It's my sister's. Where am I? Here in North Carolina. God, do you know how much this hurts?
I know it's not about me, so all I can do is let the tears flow and ask You to bless the two of them. Give them a long life filled with joy, love, laughter, and You. Bless them with their hearts' desires and help them to grow closer to You and to each other as the years pass.
And on a selfish note, help me to get my "stuff" stuffed back in to its places here in a few minutes before I have to go to church. I kind of doubt that the parents of the infant nursery will want to leave their precious babies in the arms of a blubbering, hysterical, emotional idiot such as me.
Your somewhat crazy child,
Rebekah
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