Forgive Me Father

God,
Please forgive me and help me. I am so not a nice person, and I know it, and I know You know it. You see the inside parts of me and know my heart. I don't want to use the word to describe myself, but maybe I'm just a hypocrite, I don't know. I don't want to be.

I am trying to live peaceably with others, but it's getting harder and I'm getting tired. Please help me.

Rebekah

I'm In Good Hands

Father,

I've taken some small steps in my life and a few BIG ones. Some forwards and probably too many backwards. Some of the bigger ones? Being a public school teacher because You told me it was my mission work in this world when I really wanted to be a missionary. Leaving everyone & everything I held dear to move (sight unseen) to a place 1000 miles away, to work in a school 1000 miles away with people I'd never met and students I had no clue about when my heart didn't want to leave my momma & pop.

Why??? All because You told me to.

So I know I haven't always trusted You like I should have. I'm a slow learner I know. But I am trying hard to get it and learn these eternal lessons You're trying to teach me.

I have done my part in this thing I've been struggling with You & my own self on. I've knocked on the door. I'm trusting you with my life and the future of my family, my career, my home, my health- it all. I can't do any of it without You, and I don't want to either. I'm in Your hands, and I know You will take me where You want me to be and help me to be who You want me to be.

Please just let me know what that is in Your time, Father, and until that time comes, please help me not to be stupid or dense like I often am. :)

For now & always,
I'm in Your Good Hands

Rebekah :)

Taxes for Teenagers

Pray for me folks. I am about to show Barbara how to do her taxes. Am I nuts or just totally sleep-deprived? Why am I doing this? All because she asked me to show her and because she wants her $13 back. :) I figured it might be worth a giggle, a good memory someday, and not too hard, please dear Lord, to show her now.

Here we go!

Grace- an exercise

I've been reading the gospels to find out exactly "who" Jesus was- what kind of person He was, what He did, what His personality was like, how He treated others.... Today I found a verse that might just sum it all up. I went looking for what exactly this one particular word, "grace," means...

John 1:14- "...the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth."

The definition of grace that stood out to me the most was this one:

Grace- the exercise of love, kindness, & mercy; a disposition to benefit or serve another

WOW! I think that could be a one phrase/sentence statement that truly sums up Jesus- if you can sum up God in one sentence, that is. :) Jesus showed love, kindness and mercy everywhere He went in his travels, in His work, in what He said & did. He lived a live of service to others, and when it came down to it, He thought of others and put Himself and His own physical needs and wants last, even to the point of laying down His own life for us.

And, in my own life- am I exercising love, kindness, mercy, serving others? I'd like to think so, but I also know some areas where I am not- so really, in the end, I'm not, am I? I don't like exercising- period. It's hard work, it's painful sometimes, it makes you grow and often be uncomfortable in the process, it isn't always pleasant, sometimes it yields pleasant results, and sometimes it doesn't. It's easy to be all love & kindness to those who love me back and who never mistreat me. But when someone has hurt me bad enough, I don't want to deal with them, I just want to be left alone. But is that what Jesus did?

I've got some more thinking to do here, a lot of it, actually. Jesus wasn't a doormat either. Though He was love, kindness and mercy, there were also times when He left an area where He wasn't received, where He got mad, where He dusted the dirt of His feet and moved on... But even in those times, I believe He was saddened at the people's rejection of Him and His love and mercy... In His heart, He wanted people to accept His gift.

I've really got to exercise more spiritually. I think that is the lesson Jesus has been trying to teach me the past year or two. And this journey to be more like Him- well, I've got a long, long way to go.

Gardening Fun

It was supposed to rain, but so far it hasn't. Even though it was a little cool, Robert & Barbara & I went outside to do some gardening today. We did a lot, and I know it will be so pretty once everything gets established.

Barbara made the flower boxes with dahlias, vinca vine, and alyssum.

pink moss phlox by the mailbox- it will eventually spread out and be a mass of pink blooms

this is the corner of the backyard by the driveway... going to plant these blue salvia & artemesia here

our tomato patch - nine plants- romas, roma grape, big boy, bonnies- ooooh, i can almost taste them now!!! hoping to make lots of fresh homemade pico de gallo, salsa, even some fresh spaghetti sauce this summer on top of just eating my weight in tomatoes- and that's a LOT folks! :)

our herb garden right off the kitchen door- cilantro, chives, Italian parsley, Greek oregano, rosemary, dill, thyme, sweet basil, and lavender

flower bed #1- the "Tree Stump Bed"- before

and after - this one has my Pop's hen & chicks he sent me, 2 columbine, 4 violas, 5 coreopsis, and a few petunias and purple alyssum

the right side of the deck - before

and after- this is filled with a few blue salvia & lots of lambs' ear- one of my favorites!

Barbara also filled all my flower pots on the deck with petunias, alyssum, a geranium, and potted Rob's two cayenne peppers. That's it for today. Hope to finish the other patch, plant Rob's jalapenos, and get my sunflower patch in this week. That will be it for this year. Maybe in the fall, we'll plant some spring-blooming bulbs and put in some more perennials. I have some ideas for next spring to think about over the next few months, but I am going to enjoy this wonderful start to my first spring in my new home. :)

God loved us all (in the whole wide world, every color, every nation, every language, every culture, every walk of life) so very deeply, He sent us His own son, Jesus, to die for our sins and give us eternal life.... John 3:16- Rebekah's paraphrase...

I'm missing my momma & pop a whole lot this day. Kept busy with church, a nap, flower shopping, & I tried not to think about it most of the day, but as evening has worn on, well, I just missed them- that's all.

I know that Easter isn't about family, really, but about something so much more important. It's about that verse up there, and I'm so very thankful that HE loved me that much, even when HE knew me, knew how I'd be, knew the mistakes and screw-ups I'd make, knew my many faults, and yet HE still made the choice to come and die for me.

Thank You Father for this day and what it is really about. Thank You for the gift you gave to us of life and the horrible price You paid for that gift. I love You God. Help me to always love You.