the things you might hear in my classroom

This past week I had a student (3rd grade, remember) get seriously indignant with me during our "Math Madness" time (Math Madness is an EOG prep booklet- each day we do ten math problems covering all strands of math- we go through the problems together, the kids & I). Now, let me say that getting upset with the teacher is nothing new under the sun, I know; getting mad at the teacher in my room is a daily occurrence- not a big deal at all. But what he was upset about was new to me! He wanted me to do his work. I already was working through the problems with the kids, then we all talked about which answer choices of the four were not good answers and which was and why. We would all say the correct answer out loud together and "bubble it in"- if he didn't want to learn but just get a decent grade, all he had to do was half listen and copy whoever was writing the solution on the board. He shouted at me, "Why can't you just do this work for us?" SERIOUSLY?????????? I thought he was kidding at first, but he wasn't. I'll spare you the details of the rest of the conversation as he was pretty ugly, and I was in complete shock. And this from a nine year old?????? Are you kidding me??????? What is wrong in our society????

And then yesterday, I heard a new reference to, well you know, "romance." It was one of those "yo' mama" comments but it was quite vulgar and it involved a student's mama and another student. WOW! Never heard it referred to in that way, and I never knew a nine year old could know that much about it.

Yeah, I'm pretty disgusted right now.

On a happy note:

• I wanted to do an exploration thing with my kids and the concept of capacity. I felt they needed to "play" with containers and experiment with the concept of how many quarts are in a gallon, pints in a quart, etc. by playing with pouring rice, water, or something into containers. So we did, and the kids LOVED it, and I think it helped them "get" it more! We were supposed to be having visitors pop in on us, and I was so hoping they'd see my kids actively engaged in this task. Oh well, of course that didn't happen, but the important thing is my kids were learning and having fun. That is what really matters!
• I may still be dealing with a lot of behaviors that are quite challenging in my classroom, but my students ARE making HUGE HUGE HUGE growth in the way they behave, in their level of work, in their respect towards each other and myself. Even my "friend" up there with the yo' mama comment- just two months ago that would have been a fist fight and lots of threats for retaliation. Now it's just a yo' mama comment that goes to a tattle and is resolved within a few minutes. Yesterday one of my kids sat down with me and said, "Mrs. T., I'm getting better aren't I? I don't get so mad anymore." It was a big moment for us both, and I was so thankful I got to be the one sitting there with her as she made this realization. I have so been regretting my move to third grade- SOOOOOOOO regretting. For me, personally, it was the single most stupid thing I've ever done in my teaching life. But, I moved up to be with this child, and so I am glad still somewhere, deep down inside (where it counts) that I did. In spite of it all. These things will never show up on the test that is used to judge me as a teacher, but in life, I think I have helped them grow up. I am proud of the work we have done together even if no one else ever notices the good in all of us. Because if the kids notice their growth and if they truly change, well that is what will make a difference in their lives- not a test score, not what my boss or her boss or the governor or even President Obama thinks. Not some stupid law or the politics of education either, but if the kids can learn to change their own futures by working and growing and learning- maybe their lives will become something altogether better and more bright. Maybe.
• I made it through another very stressful day, and was able to laugh and joke with my kids and be happy in my classroom.

I'm going to get groceries soon. Rob & I have a funeral to go to this afternoon. I have report cards, PEP's, lesson plans all for work and grad school- I still have no clue what all I have to do or how to do it, but I'll be working on something for it I'm sure. :)

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Finally!

Well after four days of "inclement weather" days, we are finally going back to school tomorrow on a late start! A coworker asked me today, "How's your spring break?" hahaha I have to admit, I'll be crying later when we make these days up, but it sure has been nice being all together the five of us- sleeping in, movies, games, pajama days, vegg-ing out! As for school, I sure hope my kids are the wonderful group that came back from Christmas break! :)

Rob & I started a crock pot of chili this morning, and he drove me to school before going on to his school. We worked a half day, and then he came and picked me up. He wanted to make sure I could get into the building safely and not slip on any ice as we'd heard that the parking lot was awful yesterday. He's a good guy and after all these years still loves me and looks out for me! Think I'll keep him around for another 20+ years. :) We came home, went for a short walk up in the school's lot where there was no ice, and then came home & took a short hour nap (I can't do that very often; it was so nice to snuggle up in a dark, cold room under all the blankets!)

I got very, VERY stressed tonight after reading an email and just felt this overwhelming impression (God's voice) that I should get up & pray. So I called my Momma and asked her to pray in agreement with me, and just began to tell God everything He's already heard from me over & over, but I did it anyway. THANK YOU Momma for praying with me and listening to me and talking with me afterwards!

I have my lesson plans rearranged for tomorrow, and I'm going to make a recording sheet for tomorrow's capacity exploration. Then I'm going to go to bed and try to sleep!

My "list" for today:

• I know I am nothing without Jesus & His love.
• I still hear His voice which means I am not lost. (I know, Momma, I know!)
• I made some coworkers laugh today. I like making people laugh. :)
• Rob & I made a good pot of chili today! YUM YUM YUM!
• I took care of me today- I took a short walk today before the ice started forming again! I took a nap today! And I am going to shut this off and head to bed soon.

Please pray for the family & friends of one of Rob's fellow teachers. She died this week while receiving her first chemo treatment. She leaves behind one young adult son and I'm sure many others who loved her. This is the second teacher we've known who has died in the past month.

FOUR!!!!

I cannot believe it, but we will be on our fourth "inclement weather" day tomorrow!!!

Rob and I are going to work for about a half day and then spend the rest of the day with our family. Maybe we'll play another game of Pictureka. We played today and had a lot of fun. Matthew is killer when it comes to smacking the card! Got to watch your fingers around that boy! :)

Night world!

God, it's me, your "difficult" child.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4: 6-7

God, it's me again- you know who, "that one." :) You know my needs and the requests that are on my heart right now at this moment in time.

Snow Day # 2

Today was another "snow day" for us here in central N.C. I am beginning to wonder if we'll go back at all this week. :) NOT that I'm complaining though, that's for sure! :) The community college was closed, and Robert didn't get work today at his day job so we were all home together- aaahhhh, so nice!

So today, I still woke up at 6:30 or so; my back was killing me. I came into the living room, stretched out in the recliner and fiddled around on the computer- checked emails, facebook'ed, and played some solitaire. I showered and put my jammies back on, and had a WONDERFUL "pajama day." :) :) :) When everyone got up, we had a very, very late breakfast and hung out in the living room together, fiddling on computers, playing video games, talking, watching t.v, laughing and joking and being our silly selves.

This afternoon Barbara hung out with me in the kitchen while I worked on paper projects. I tried my hand at making Valentine's cupcake wrappers and toppers. I LOVED my little toppers!!!! I went ahead and listed a set in my Etsy store. I posted more photos on my other blog page, but wanted to share these photos just 'cuz they make me happy. :)

I don't know quite what was with me, but I had a strange experience today. I was a little short this morning. I wasn't mad or upset, but twice I heard my voice snap and thought, "Why are you sounding so grouchy? You're not mad. What is your problem, Rebekah?" I told Rob that I just felt strange- not mad or upset, but a little uptight kind of, but not sure why at all. He said maybe it was just stress. ???? I tried to relax & take a nap this afternoon, but was really wound-up, almost hyper. My brain was going a bazillion miles an hour, and I just felt very, very restless. It was kind of creepy and funny at the same time. I kept itching and feeling like a bug was crawling on me or something and was humming tunes, dancing around as I worked, and such. Barbara and I had lots of laughs at crazy me. :) After three or four hours of that silliness I started to feel more normal. Weird!!!!

I talked with my Pop today too. :) That was very nice!!!! I know he won't read this, but I enjoyed talking with you, Pop. I love you and am so thankful for you!!!!

Matthew worked a short shift at McDonalds this evening; it was slow so he was off early. :) We are watching Johnny English, eating munchies and just having a quiet night together. I am SOOOO thankful for this time together. We are snatching as many "five of us" moments as we can so they will be wonderful memories we can all cherish if/when Matthew leaves in a few months' time.

So that was snow day #2; and yes, we are out again tomorrow. I cannot believe it, but it's true! :) And, NO, I do NOT plan to go in to work tomorrow. I am going to stay home and try to do some of the college and work things I should have probably done today. And maybe I'll try taking that nap. :) Maybe. :)

Love,

Rebekah :)

My list for today:

1. I can apologize when I am wrong (and even when I'm not, right family?) :) I know I apologize too much (ask my family, coworkers, boss, they'll all tell you). But I was glad that I quickly realized I was being snappy and told Rob what was going on in my head. And that was the end of the short tone. The grouchy just went away when I realized it and told him; and then the hyper, restless, crazy, silly side came out. Go figure!

2. I am learning to do things for me- part of what started this whole card business was trying to find something to do that was fun for me. :)

3. I ADORE my family!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's it for today.

"Snow Day" - ahem ????

We were out of school today for bad weather, but the weather didn't come until about 2:30, and now at 11 PM we have maybe an inch of snow/ice. We are out again tomorrow. Rob & I decided to go to our classrooms for a very short time (I have to work, lose pay, or make up the hours on these days, and Rob is taking on another course and losing his planning period so he had some things to do to be ready). So the kids and I went to lunch and then headed to my room. Barbara helped another teacher, and my boys helped me clean out the fish tank, mail the HUGE pile of graded papers, and rearrange the tables and kids' desks. THANK YOU my young people!

A big box came from my sister, and we were finally able to get it from the post office since we were off. My sister and brother-in-law had sent us some Christmas and other goodies. They got Matthew this "mohawk hat." I think he really likes it- he's been wearing it much of the evening. :)

He HATES to have his picture taken, but I finally got him to cooperate (well, Rob did actually) and got a decent smile. He's cute! :) I love his smile!

Rob & I cooked chicken tetrazzini together tonight, and we've just hung out, and laughed and joked and been silly together. Rob and I also went for a walk after supper in the snow. I have to be careful as I'm normally very clumsy, and have broken my ankle on black ice before. We just walked a few laps around the school's parking lot and came home. The wind was cold, but it was nice to hold my hubby's hand and walk in the snow together. Robert got to come home from the restaurant early since it was dead- YEAH! Rob and Robert ran to the grocery store and got stuff for a yummy snow day breakfast for tomorrow and munchies for us all.

I'm hoping to actually sleep tonight- the insomnia has been kicking in a bit, and especially the past two Sundays- no big surprise there I guess. :) So last night I was up most of the night.

And, boy is this hard, but I promised. :) I need a name for this maybe. IDK????

Today's "trying to like myself items":

• I make people laugh.
• I can laugh at myself (which I think is good).
• I am a good cook.
• I like to learn new things.
• I am sticking with my exercise (even walked in the snow today!).

Thankful for encouraging words, the love of others, and yes, even life's challenges

First off, I have to say that I am SO very thankful for the love God gives freely even when we don't deserve it. I am grateful for the love and support of my family- the ones I live with and the ones back home in northern Illinois. Without God and that family, I don't know where I'd be, who I'd be, and I don't want to think about it.

I'm also thankful tonight for the encouraging words two ladies have given me lately- Rach & Crystal, I am grateful for you and the timely encouragement you have sent my way!

Momma, you have ALWAYS been there for me. Your undying love and belief in me has been an example of God's love to me, what a mother's love for her children should be, and has held me up in some icky times in my life. Thank you for being that Momma! Not everyone gets one of "those" kind of moms, and I am more grateful than words can ever express!

Rob, you have stood by me for a long, long time now. We certainly had some hard times, but we hung on and made it through. You stuck with me through all of it and have been my best friend, the one who has to listen to me rant & rave and complain and cry. When I get in the car to come home, I can't hardly wait to reach this sanctuary we have created together- this safe place in an ugly, ugly world- home is my haven where I find God and love, joy and laughter. Thank you for that!

This weekend I was stressed about college and work. It all came to a head and I made it home to fall apart. Rob let me cry, held me in his arms and listened to me. My momma listened to me and prayed for me. Then she told me something that helped. "Rebekah, you have done many hard things and done them all well." That really helped, Momma. And you're right Momma. I thought about the challenges life has brought me. None of them were easy, but I did make it through and they all made me a better person.

Then Crystal sent me a message to tell me that I just don't see myself the way others do- which is not a new thought for me. The list of people who have spoken to me about this and said that very thing could probably stretch all the way back home to Illinois from here. :) I have long annoyed people I work with, let alone my family, for this very flaw. :)

I have LONG said, that I wish I could have a new pair of glasses that let me see myself the way God does. I just don't see all good things other people see. I see the real me- the side I try to hide because inside of me are some ugly thoughts, words that I'm not proud of, anger, laziness, gluttony, jealousy (oh, I don't want to admit that one), and lots of other awful things if I were completely honest with myself.

BUT, "someone" kind of challenged me tonight to start writing five positive things about myself each day. Not sure if I want to do that either. :) But I'll try. I feel self-conscious and conceited.

So I'll say it this way:

• I am not a perfect person, waaaaay far from what God wants, but I am His child. That's the bottom line.
• I have been a good wife to Rob Thomas for 22 1/2 years. I have stuck with him through the bad times too and support him in everything he does.
• I haven't been a perfect mom; God knows I've made lots of mistakes and have lots of regrets, but my kids have become these WONDERFUL young people! Not perfect either, but trying to live for God, respectful, loving, giving, laughing, seemingly well-adjusted young adults in spite of my mistakes. I can take credit for that. :) After all these years and all my worries that I'd mess them up, I didn't. I "done good."
• I have been a good daughter to my parents. I have tried to be there for them- not always done that well either, but mostly, I think I have. I have honored them, mostly obeyed them, listened to their wisdom, watched their lives' example.
• I have been a good teacher to a lot of kids from southern Illinois to northern Illinois, Iowa, and now North Carolina and have done so for soon to be 17 years. I will never win some big award, but I have loved with all my heart more children than I can count anymore. Wherever I have taught, I have given all of myself and then some. I can honestly say that I have never taught somewhere and not worked myself to death almost to be there for my students and their families. I am NOT saying I have never failed in that endeavor or made mistakes as a teacher. I am NOT saying I am some great teacher who is the best. But I have tried with every fiber of my being to show God's love to every student who walks through my door as well as the adults who come into my life.

For over a year now, I have tried to ask myself these things at the end of each day:

• Did I please God today?
• Did I do right by my family today?
• Did I do right by my students today?
• Did I show love to those entrusted to me today?

But if I may confess, this year has been even more challenging and difficult than even last year was, and it was a pretty rough year. I still try to do those four things EVERY SINGLE DAY, but I have let the negativity and hurtful, spiteful things said and done in my work environment take root in my heart and tear me apart. I have let all the garbage at work and the negativity and the focus on some stupid #/score and the 30-second sound bytes from people who never observe in my classroom dictate what I focus on more than I should. I need to go back to those ?s up there. That should be the true measure for myself at the end of the day.

So, taking up this challenge given to me and modeling after Rach who lists "sparklies" and "milestones," I will try my very best to list something good about myself each day. If you read, please don't see me as conceited because I know I will. :)

With a lot of love and gratefulness,

Your BekaBoo :)