Stop the World, I'm Getting Off Now

Did you ever just have a bad day/week that was just truly awful? Well, this week STINKS!!! Can I call it Friday and get it over with?

There's just no way to get around it. I thought it was just Monday, but then yesterday the governor signed an executive order reducing our pay effective immediately- taking back a percentage of the entire year's salary from our next paychecks. This hits all the state employees; senators and judges can voluntarily give up some pay if they'd like to. Yeah, can you hear my sarcasm???? I won't even go on about this as it's not nice- what's in my head. It's going to really hit us hard financially.

I'm dealing with my kids (the kids I love more than my life, but who are really frustrating me right now). I am angry, hurt, frustrated, worried, stressed, hurt, disappointed, worried, angry.... Right now it appears I am getting the silent treatment from one.

I'm feeling horribly low, and each day I keep getting out of bed thinking it will be better today, and then there's something else.

I'm utterly, completely, and totally sick of work- the negativity and backstabbing, the way people talk about and treat kids, the way I feel so awkward and have somehow without meaning to backed myself into a corner by myself ...

Most of all, I'm just sick to death of me.

The good news? God is still God. I am still alive and breathing. I have a husband who is standing by my side in this icky week. God has blessed me abundantly more than I deserve, and for that I am eternally grateful and very humbled as I am so very undeserving.

Here's to a better Thursday- I hope!

Be Still and Know...

Today on my way home, I was struggling trying to tell God my problems... In my head, in a very quiet voice, I heard, "Be still..." I thought it was just me being silly, so I started again, and there it was again, "Be still." So this time I did, as best as I could.

So for tonight, instead of writing it all down, I'll just say that I'm very discouraged, feeling like a very hideous, mean & ugly person, hating myself, but trying very hard to

just

be

still.

God I am still and know that You are God. You alone.