A Small Child's "Mite"

I had a little boy in my class last year. I've journaled about him before. He has taken a piece of my heart, and I am still learning just how deeply he has affected me and perhaps changed my life in ways I may never be able to put into words.

He loves to give gifts- it truly is his love language. Last year, my wall and cabinets were full of small tokens of affection, creations he had made, and many of them were very creative. He has brought me presents this year for myself as well as my boys, a poster and a magazine he took from his room for them- specifically choosing each one for one particular son. Recently he told me he was still looking for a gift for my daughter & that he felt bad about it. Last week he told me he was trying to find a present for me... I tried, as I always do, to put that off, tell him it was not necessary, blah, blah, blah... So one day I told him I'd try to find him a gift too. I bought something for him and his sister of no value at all- literally $1 spent on each... It was just a little laminated note card that told them both they were special, and I talked with them about how much I cared for them, how much they meant to me, and how truly special they were and asked them to never forget it. That's it- $1 spent on each of them out of my abundance. Nothing to brag or write home about. So very little in fact that it's almost embarrassing to even mention it.

Today, in walks my friend with a present for me- a toy of his, this little toy gorilla. I know he has so little at home, truly nothing in more ways than I could ever say here out of respect for his life. How could I take this gift from him???? I was so awe-struck, so humbled, so many emotions at once. I, once again, tried to gently refuse the gift telling him I hated to take his toy, was he sure, what would his mom say... He insisted just as earnestly and sweetly. I knew if I didn't take it, he'd be offended, and I'd undo all the progress he & I have made and his trust in me. I can NEVER risk that, so I took the gift with more tears in my eyes than I can say. Once he left my room, I started crying- really crying- my kids were staring at me like I'd lost my mind- only they know I'm a cryer. I had to call Rob to ask him if I did the right thing. I still don't know, but I know I couldn't hurt him.

Now, hours later, I am still floored by this. This was truly this child's mite- one of his small, few possessions and he gave it to me out of his love for me. I cannot begin to say how this makes me feel, words can never express it.

I am thinking of all the things he has said to me over the past few weeks. He recently told me he wished he could come live with me & I would so take him in a heartbeat if he ever needed a home. He said he could NEVER be mad at me (though he forgot about our first few weeks together when he was such an angry little boy and hurting so much he couldn't show the sweet, loving side of him)... He told me if anyone ever bothered me or hurt me, he'd call the "po-lice" on them...

I think of what little I can do, and I so wish I could do more for him, more than my own small mite of nothing but love, hugs, daily bus checks, and an occasional kiss on the head.

God, I know You honored the woman who gave of her little all that she had. I know that You took a few little fish and loaves of bread and made so much, much more out of it- enough to feed thousands. Well, God, what do I have to offer? Nothing, so little, only a lot of hugs, smiles, encouraging words, respect, love, and my goofy, silly self. It's so little against the hurts of what so many of my kids face at home and in their lives... I DON'T understand at all how my little can do any long-term, eternal good, but I know You can turn nothing into something. Please somehow God, use my nothing to do something even I can't imagine in my friend's life and his sister's too, Father.

And help me to take this mite of love which is actually not a mite at all, but a huge treasure to me and love them all with everything that is in me. I do love my kids God.

I am ever Your servant,

Rebekah :)