His kindness...

I don't know if I can say this the way I want to- it's getting late, and I am just wanting to remember this for later- to think on it and maybe wade into the "deep end" more when I can.

I don't even remember now what it was exactly in the sermon on Sunday, but at one point, I said something to Rob because I felt some hope that maybe I am actually doing good for God after all.... Rob (also like me a "heathen Christ-follower" who struggles with his "Christianity" but strives to live for God) said something that has stuck with me all week- "His kindness leads to repentance." I looked it up to find it, and it's in Romans (Romans 2:4 "Don't you see
how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean
nothing to you? Can't you see that His kindness is intended to turn you from
your sin?") That has so much meaning for me personally... God is WONDERFULLY kind, tolerant, and PATIENT, Rebekah. God is not waiting for me to mess up, waiting to bust me, waiting with a list of my wrongs... God is kindness and mercy and if anything he is waiting to help me.


But I was reading in Acts last night and boy did something really jump out at me that goes so well with that scripture Rob reminded me of. In Acts 19, the Bible is talking about how Paul lived in an area for a couple years and was so well known that even the demons knew who he was. It talks about how Paul preached, taught, and more... and how people came to know Christ because they were at first curious about Paul but then came to know the Lord. People openly confessed their sins, came and burnt their scrolls of sorcery (and the Bible even mentions the value of it all- it sounds quite impressive, the change in people's hearts & lives). I was left with this thought- Paul taught and served God, and God worked on men's hearts. And what an amazing outcome!

I wish we could see that kind of outcome here, today, in our own country. It sure makes me wonder about that. I can't change the whole world. I can only try to change my own heart and be a positive influence on my children/family and the children whose lives I am a small part of each day/school year. I am trying to live a life that is as blameless as I can make it- got a long way to go there I know. And I'm praying that my life will be found pleasing to Him and that it will cause some kind of an amazing outcome in His eyes too.

And I'm praying that His church will see the "world" the same way He does. I hope we can learn to love, show His kindness, and let God lead people to His own repentance. He can do it so much better than we can anyway.