God's Master Plan or Our Sinful Nature?

Dear God, today I heard a poem on the radio that made me think about things I try to push to the back of my mind most days.  I push these things back because it makes me sometimes angry, sometimes sad, often fearful of what other Christians would think about me if I shared, and always makes me wonder what you Yourself would say to me.  Then I remember that You can read my mind and know my thoughts anyway.  Hopefully You see the heart behind the thoughts and know where it really comes from and why I struggle with this.  You know where I've been and why I am this way even if it bothers me to be the way I am.  I remind myself that at least You won't judge me or condemn me.  I have to remind myself of that often, but You already know that too.

The poem was read by a dj on a Christian radio station that I listen to daily.  Let me say up front that I'm sure the poem's writer and the dj who shared it had the best of intentions and are very sincere in their views and beliefs.  I am not putting them down.  I just question a lot and don't think I can quite agree with them.

The poem says we are who we are for a reason- it's Your divine plan.  I used to 100% agree with that too.  I used to think You had everything planned and ordained in our lives- from our conception to everything we do, to the exact moment of our death.  I thought You had an exact will for everything we do in our lives.  I'm not so sure of all that anymore.  I'm not saying You don't; I'm simply saying I wonder about this now a lot more than I ever did before.

The poem says that everything about us is in Your plan- from the way we look, to the the parents we had (that one is my favorite)- it says "no matter how we may feel, our parents were custom designed with God's plan in mind and they bear the Master's seal."  Here is where I start to differ from what I used to think, what some Christians think.  You didn't really intend for me to become a lardbutt did You?  I mean, really, that was my fault- I can't blame You for that, and I'm pretty sure it wasn't in Your divine plan that I let myself go and didn't take care of myself.  I did that to myself.
But God, the part that bothers me the most is the parents part of that poem.  Please forgive me if I seem sacreligious or disrespectful.  I know You're God, and I don't really have the right to question You.  I don't mean it that way at all; I just don't understand and really wish I did.   God, I don't see how the neglect, abuse, the horrible things so many kids are being raised amidst- how can that be God- approved and part of Your master plan?  I know You can take bad things and make good come from them, but do You really wish such evil on children? You designed parents to do/allow such evil in their children's lives?  Isn't it more a result of the sin we carry around inside of us than that You planned it at our conception (or before)?  God, what about the kid I had whose family said outright in a meeting with the principal and me and the child present, "Nobody wants you, you do know that don't you?"  God, I know you saw that poor child's face and the hurt in the eyes.  I will never forget that.  That is Your plan for him?  What about the little girl I had who was battered by her mom's boyfriend and has permanent brain damage and a physical disability from the beating- You ordained that?   The little girl I taught in my first job whose mom's alcoholism caused her to kill her daughter?  The child whose mom was prostituting herself with an open door between her daughter and me right there in the next room?  The kids who have watched their moms be beaten, who have seen violence I can only imagine right in their own home? The siblings who hid from the cops and were left home alone when their mom was arrested? The kids who don't get anything to eat after they leave school either because their families have no food or they don't have parents who are capable, able, or willing to take care of their kids?  The kids caught between two parents who fight all the time?  The kids who don't know they are loved?  And that's just here in the U.S.  What about places, God, where the real horrors of war, famine, disease, and true poverty exist?  Where kids and families know things I cannot even imagine?  Do You really plan such atrocities for them as part of Your plan that we are supposed to just say so glibly, "It's part of His master-approved plan so I should just sing lalalala and go on my way merrily?"  Really?

I struggle with this Father.  I try to  trust You, and I always will.  Even if that is who You are, I have to hope that You know best, but God I don't like it.  At.  All.  I know I'm too sensitive and that I probably took that poem in a way it wasn't meant, but I have grown so tired of the pat answers and scriptures quoted so easily to a hurting person.  Tired of people who don't know where another has walked giving them all the right answers without seeing into their hearts.  All I know is a lot of kids who have their whole lives ahead of them, but who were doomed from conception to a life of poverty, violence, and living through the mistakes of their families, and without a miracle are likely to repeat the cycle again and again.  And, God, I just can't believe that this is part of Your plan for us.  There has to be more.