Stuck

I haven't written in a while.  It doesn't mean I've stopped.  The last few months have been busy, very busy.  I got sick.  Reactions to meds. Bad allergies. Tendinitis. Decisions.

Life.

And in all that life, I've gotten stuck on the scale.  :(  Nothing horrible. Just stuck.  I have to be honest too.  My eating is suffering.  I'm having a hard time.  This is the first big, long, hard plateau I've had.  I am fighting a little discouragement.  I am aggravated at myself and my lack of self control on tightening up myself.  I am not doing as well as I was about being able to self-talk.  What happened to the girl who used to hate herself and used that to motivate herself?

I keep thinking, that for all the people who told me it was not good to self-hate and say mean things to myself- "See, it worked."  I know, mental.  Seriously.

My clothes are getting tighter and my shape is slowly changing in some needed places, but it is slow.  I needed it to go faster than this.

BUT- and this is a good but- I haven't given up either.  I'm still trying, still going to the gym, still aware of the problem and trying.  The old Rebekah would have given up a long time ago.  I may have hit a bump, but I'm still fighting.

I will win this war.