"It's Okay"

(For my little Denise, who will never know that she was used to teach me one of the most important lessons in life )

If I had forgotten, I was reminded today that even teachers and adults learn! More importantly I learned that the Creator of the universe knows where I am and even with all the things He has on his busy daily planner and to do list, He can still take time to see the smallest, least important person, need, detail... Yeah, God, I know. Even as I type this, He is reminding me of the lilies of the field and the birds of the air. He knows even when the birds die. He was watching my classroom today! That is such an awe-ing, humbling thought I cannot hardly wrap my mind around it.

As I've done this "egg"unit with my class, I wanted them to understand a couple really important ideas. First I taught them (and they really got this one) that even though we couldn't see it, there was a baby chick growing inside that egg. We were able to use an overhead projector to "candle" the eggs and we could "see" the chick growing & moving inside the egg. It was a wonderful experience for the kids and for me! According to the "official" national curriculum that I was loaned with the incubator the "embryo" doesn't become a chick until it pokes its little beak through the air space at the end of the shell and begins the hatching process. Well, that may be what the national curriculum writers say, but it's not what I taught my kids. I taught my kids the Truth according to the correct "Manual." I also worked hard to teach the kids that life brings ups and downs, and not all creatures survive in "this old world" of ours. I have taught and retaught and reminded the children many times throughout this unit that not all the eggs would develop and that not all the chicks would live. I have been very concerned that they not be overly upset by the concept of death through this project. I have reminded them that death is "part of life." I am probably overly sensitive to this topic since my own dad died when I was a child, but I wanted to help them understand this in a healthy way.
Well, today when I arrived at school, we had several chicks that had not survived the night, and several that had been born not quite completely developed and ready. The children had not arrived yet so we quickly moved the incubator up out of their sight. Thanks to many coworkers that came to our rescue, we were able to get the kids to a "safe" place, deal with the dead and dying baby chicks, clean up the mess... Throughout the day, we worked to dry off the sick chicks and tried to nurse them as much as we could. The kids were WONDERFUL!!! I am so VERY proud of them! They took all of this in stride, and reminded me (literally) that "this is just part of life."

Here is where the Lord comes in. While trying to play nurse, vet, or e.r. doctor, my little Denise came up to me and spoke to me. She didn't just talk to me like any other of my kids. She really spoke to my heart. Let me explain. Denise is a Spanish speaker. She barely knows any English and cannot, yet, speak English more than to name a handful of objects or colors. She mostly speaks to us in Spanish and is starting to use an English word paired with lots of Spanish words to try to communicate to us. This little child, touched my shoulder to get my attention, looked me deep in the eyes, and said, "Mrs. Thomas, it's okay." I replied something and started back to work. She repeated this once more, smiling at me very tenderly when she said it. I said something about "yes, it was okay..." and gave her a quick little smile and hug and went back once again to my work. But, Denise touched me again, looked at me and smiled, and said, "Mrs. Thomas, it's okay. Okay?" I know this will sound like nothing extraordinary to most people and to anyone that might know the child. To me, it had to be the voice of God speaking through a little girl from Mexico. It was His words and His smile and His heart that he put into my little Kinderchild to tell me that it was okay. I got it that time. I stopped what I was doing, hugged her tightly, and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and said, "Yes, Denise it is okay." Then she went on with her day. Once I got it, she was done. It had to be God. It had to be the Creator getting my attention and letting me know that it was okay. Okay? Okay for what? I don't know. Maybe okay to be upset about some dumb, silly chicks; okay to care that the life I watched and helped hatch one day ago had not lived; okay to care that my kinders might be hurt or saddened; okay to care so much; okay to be "tender-hearted" as so many have called me this week; okay to be me; okay to be just the way I am- the way He must have made me for some strange reason that only He knows, but I will understand someday; okay to be Rebekah.

I posted this on my class website tonight as part of today's "summary" for parents- One thing I've been re-taught today- life is hard sometimes, but there is always good if you look. In the end, "it's okay!" Okay to be sad, to cry, to feel disappointment. Okay, to be happy, to cheer, to feel enthusiasm.

I've thought about it some more. There isn't always good if you look. There's always God if you look. May I always find God wherever I look. And may I remember that "it's okay." May I never forget today's school lesson.