Saturday, September 09, 2006

Mrs.

This week, a coworker commented on me being a "Mrs." She told someone else in our conversation that I would understand what she meant & agree with her about losing my identity being a mrs and a wife and a mom. I know that a lot of women today feel that way, but I must confess that although I understand what she is saying, for me it is not true.

Maybe I am just weird, or really old-fashioned for my age, but I had to give her the blank look and tell her that I truly don't feel that way. I don't know why, but I don't. I guess I'm not a feminist or something, although I am not in the dark ages either. I just don't feel like I have lost myself by being a mrs. or taking my husband's name (which also came up) or being his wife or the kids' mom. That is all part of who I am, my identity. I am still me (whoever that may be)- no matter what the name is or what the title I am being called by. I know many will differ and that' s okay; I'm just saying that for me, my identity is many things: a kid who was named after her grandmother & a Bible times person, an older sister, a daughter, granddaughter, niece... As an adult I added other titles, wife, college student & grad, mom (my personal favorite), friend, teacher, and hopefully the one that shows the most, Christian. Being a mrs. is not a putdown, insult, or negation of the true me; it's just part of who I am. It's a part I also love a lot.

Yeah, there are days I would like to not hear my name "Mrs. Thomas" a million times over by a room full of 5 year olds, but I wouldn't trade being Mrs. Thomas for any other name in the world. Besides I wouldn't have wanted to be Ms. Lott all my life. No offense to my dad, but that name forever? Yuck!

1 comment:

  1. Hi Bekah, I'm just tooling around in your archives. I saw this post and it struck me and I had to comment.

    I don't in any way at all feel I have lost my "identity" by marrying, taking Brien's name and having his children and becoming a mother.

    I consider myself a feminist in that I'm all for women's equality and rights, but in this instance, I don't get it either.

    Who I am right NOW, as Brien's wife, the girl's mama, *is* my identity. It has added to the "Me" I was before and added a depth, another layer if you will, to the "me" I was before.

    I suppose I understand what that coworker was saying, but that's not me either.

    I LOVE who I am! I LOVE being a wife and a mama. It's something I *think* I'm really good at. :o)

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