Jump ahead to 2007. I am 36 years old, a mom of three great teenagers (no, I didn't kill any of them), a wife, a teacher, and still just as busy-only with different demands on my time now. And, I found out that my momma was right. I always knew she was, but couldn't really comprehend the concept she was trying to get through to me. :) (Are you smiling yet, Momma?) I am now mother to three high school students- a senior, a junior, and a freshman! Where has time gone? How did it happen so fast? What happened to all those moments I remember?
Now looking back, I can see so many moments- big & small- that we went through, my children and I. Some of them were "big" in my eyes and I knew they were, but so many more were just day-to-day events and things that were not necessarily even thought of at the time. At the time, I didn't recognize their importance in my life or just thought it was a "normal" day. But now I am beginning to see that those simple things are just as important and "big" as all the "big" memories I have. These are just a few of the moments I hope I will always remember:
"Big" Moments:
- feeling their movement inside me
- hearing their heartbeat for the first time
- seeing their shadows on an ultrasound photo
- their births
- all the "firsts"- the first diaper, the first bottle, the first trip in the car to go home, first sounds & words, sitting up for the first time, crawling, standing, walking, running, talking
- hearing my little ones say "Mommy" and "I love you"
- going to school, and then middle school, and then high school
- learning to play an instrument
- puberty- need I say more?!
- learning to drive- YIKES!!!!!!!!
- first crushes and maybe, now or soon-to-come, first loves
"Little" Moments:
- taking naps with them when they were little-watching them sleep & enjoying them cuddling up with me
- reading stories together
- playing in the play dough or doing puzzles or building together with Lego's & blocks
- playing Barbies with them and doing silly voices
- having "camp-out" nights in our room or the living room where we watched a movie together and then all just went to sleep right there on our sleeping bags or in our bed
- watching them play on the playground and in the yard
- hearing them fight with each other and play with each other
- the "haircut" in the closet they tried to hide from me
- the candy in the Barbie helmet
- the famous "slide fight" of 1995
- the "Nascar" incident and the "white trash teacher car"
- the night conversations and walks that they were not even awake to remember, but we laughed a lot about later
- the famous "floating" blanket that nightly made its appearance on its way to our bedroom
- all the gazillions of times they came home having learned something new at school, and now all the times they learn something I don't know or can't help them with
- the water fights and pillow fights and real fights
- cooking together
- turning out the lights in the church :)
- puking on a stuck up lady at church :)
- frantically searching for certain children who liked to hide from me in Walmart under the clothes racks and thought it was terribly funny!
- going to all the games and meets and concerts, and sometimes laughing at the silly faces certain children made during the event! (and one time holding up a cell phone so a sick grandma could hear the concert music)
I knew these moments would come to an end one of these days, but I didn't realize how quickly the time would go. I was too busy washing cloth diapers, preparing bottles, picking up toys, diapering, feeding, and being a "mommy" to notice that my little ones were no longer so little. Then these past few years, once that realization sunk in, I have been adjusting to their being in "middle childhood," and I have gotten used to them developing into teenagers and being so smart and learning lots of new things. But, still, I thought time wouldn't go so fast. Instead, it's only gone faster.
Today, we received Robert's senior picture info and his photography appointment time. And it has really sunk in, for a moment anyway, that my children are almost grown. All those big & little moments will, in just a few more years, come to an end. I am about to take another of those "big" steps we parents have to take, ready or not, whether I want to or not. We've been talking college and adulthood and life plans and "stuff" (Robert, Rob, & me) this past year, but I'm slow to wrap my brain around these things. Robert knows where he wants to go and what he wants to do after graduation, and he will still be around here for a few more years, but, still, it's going to be different soon. He's almost an adult, and I have to start letting go more and more. And then, it will be Barbara's turn and then Matthew's shortly afterwards. I'm not going to get much of a break between them all or have much time to prepare for my new parenting stage.
I know there will be lots of "other" moments after this stage of parenting. I know from my own "kid" experiences, that when you have a good parent you never stop needing help/info/advice or a relationship with your folks. I look forward to all those moments, whatever they may be- eating out together as adults at a nice restaurant (& not McDonald's), meeting future daughters-in-law & son-in-law, weddings, grandchildren, college graduations, family get-togethers where I can wait on my family like my momma has done for us for years, and hopefully, most important of all to me- a chance to be my kids' friends. And there are certainly parts of this stage of parenthood that I will not miss: being "dumber" than I thought :), listening to three know-it-all kids argue with each other and try to prove the others wrong, trying to help with homework I can't even understand, running, running, running, running (it will be nice to not have to be somewhere almost every night of the week again), all that $ spent on food and clothes and school expenses and gas, all that laundry, cooking, cleaning...
BUT, I am going to miss the noise too, and hearing "Mom" from across the house, and seeing my daughter wave goodbye to me everyday no matter the time of morning I leave or the weather outside or how sleepy she is, and watching my boys roughhouse together with each other or their dad, and having Robert talk to me about his friends and school, and playing a game or watching a movie with Matthew.
I am making sure I enjoy each day I have with my children because the days with them are numbered, and I want to make sure that I don't miss any of the "moments"- big or little. I want to catch them all and fill my mind full of all the times we have had, both good and bad, so someday I can tell my grandchildren about them and so that I can look back and remember all these steps I took with my kids.
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