Sunday, June 28, 2009

forgiveness

I'm working hard on this right now.

I find forgiveness a doozy. You know this might surprise some people, but the part of forgiveness that I have the most difficulty with is forgiving myself. I just can't seem to cut myself any slack and when I do then I tell myself I'm just making excuses which is unacceptable. I can't win for losing with myself.

I battle with this almost daily- sometimes multiple times in a day. I cannot stand my failings, my imperfections, my "not measuring up" to some standard. I cannot stand the thought that I failed someone or let someone down, especially my family or coworkers, and most of all God.

And, I know it's all about His mercy, that none of us measure up, that we all miss the mark and need His grace and forgiveness, that is why Jesus came & died. I know those things to be true, but there is this part in my brain that just can't seem to stop it.

I know, I'm mental. Wish there was a cure for me and my stupid self. :) There is, it's called Heaven, and maybe someday I'll actually get there and be fixed at last.

2 comments:

  1. and just minutes after i post this, who should call me but my momma. God sent you my way tonight via phone Momma. THANK YOU for calling me and encouraging me and understanding and giving me the "momma" talk but also loving me and well, just for being there and being my momma

    I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

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  2. There's no "maybe" that you will get there. For God so loved the world that He gave His only son that "whosoever" believes in Him SHALL NOT perish but HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE." Since you have believed in Him, He cannot lie so you will make it. That's the game plan. Believe in Him, believe in His righteousness. Your righteousness has nothing to do with it. I don't see anywhere it said that "whosoever" believes in Him MAY NOT PERISH, but PROBABLY will have eternal life.

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