prayers please

I'm going back to work (again) tomorrow. Please pray I don't fall again, don't get tripped up or do anything else stupid. I'm really not feeling too hot, my hand is getting infected, and I'm still on crutches so I hope this week goes quickly. Most of all, I'm praying I actually make it through this whole week without any sick days or any other "issues." I haven't worked a full week the past three weeks.

Hope your week is drama free and full of joy!

Rebekah :)

prayer request

Please pray for my sister and her hubby and infant daughter. Jessica has meningitis and Scott is starting to not feel well too. Please pray for Zoe and my parents that none of them will come down with this.

Thank you SO much for your prayers!!!!

Rebekah :)

Thinking of a friend tonight

I've been working hard all night on grading papers, evaluating my 2nd graders place value pretests, creating a spreadsheet to do said analysis... Matthew & I also made my fruit dessert for the 4th grade teachers tonight.

But I've been checking on a friend too in between all that. Today was her daughter's first day of Kindergarten. Her daughter, Hannah, died a few years ago, and I knew today was going to be quite a day for her. I'm sitting her crying after reading her blog. Her Hannah sure blessed a lot of people in her short time here. Her bus driver still remembered Hannah, and is still carrying a card Hannah made for her all these years later.

Rach, I don't know if you still come here, but THANK YOU for sharing your Hannah with those of us who visit you. Thank you for being honest and real with everybody- the good and the painful. I'm praying for you sweet lady!!!!! And sending you hugs and a lot of love tonight!!!!

Day 1 is done

Today went pretty well. This training was good- well at least I liked it better than anything else we've had. Usually PD is hit or miss (often miss). This presenter was good, knows her stuff, was sharing very useful info and teaching us things many of us didn't know or clarifying misinformation.

I found out today that I do not have a class assigned to me yet; hoping maybe that will change tomorrow but who knows. I'm trying to relax and go with the flow, but I hope I do get kids soon. It's hard to listen to everybody making plans, to decorate and set up a new classroom, to work with grade levels when you don't know exactly what you will end up being.

And don't let me leave this out- let me just say I have the BEST young people around! Barbara & Matthew got up early and came to school with me. While I was in training all day, they started setting up the furniture in my new room, unpacking boxes and baskets and working on getting my room ready. Matthew made my door display- the neatest tree with a little owl and got the words cut out and everything laminated. Barbara is being the organization queen for me. THANK YOU YOUNG PEOPLE O' MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love my family, and am so very, very blessed!!!

My back started really hurting last week on the retreat by the end, and I am in horrible pain this evening. I went and fished out the pain medicine the doctor gave me back in March when it flared up then. So anytime now I am going to get sleepy (I hope). The recliner and I are going to be good friends for a few nights I'm afraid. I hate that because I missed Rob a lot today, but I cannot sleep in the bed when my back is hurting. :(

So, good night. Hope wherever you are, your Tuesday is filled with lots of laughter, some good hugs and tons of smiles!

Rebekah :)

What I got right today:

• no complaining or griping
• no words I regret from my mouth
• I'm still reading my Bible and doing my God-journal :)
• I volunteered (you did hear that right?) to lead two group activities at this Friday's opening staff meeting!!!!!! Do you know how huge that is????? I know it's going to hit me in a day or so, and I'm going to be wondering, "What in the world was I thinking?!?!?!?!" :)

My prayer requests for tonight:

• My cousin, Laura Beth, just had her first baby. I'm praying for her healing physically, lots of rest, and for God's help as baby, mom, and dad all learn each other and make all these big adjustments.
• My back- I NEED this to be healed. I cannot go like this much longer without a dr.'s visit, and I don't have the $, the time, or the desire to see the dr. again- especially when they'll just give me drugs and send me home.

Goodbye Summer, Hello 2011-12 School Year

Staying up late, sleeping late, reading, movies, Plants vs. Zombies, walks, laughter, visits from my family back home, cooking, relearning how to sew, family time- that's how I've spent my six weeks off. This was the first summer that I have not taught summer school, babysat, or tutored. This is the first summer I have not worked on school stuff, and oh how nice it has been! I started summer with my Momma, Pop, sister, brother-in-law, and niece here for graduation. On Fathers' Day, my cousin, Regina and her family popped by for lunch with us, and then in July, Regina came back and brought another cousin, Pam, to see us. They stayed for a few days, and oh, what fun we had- staying up WAY late, laughing like crazy women, shopping at every craft/fabric store in G'boro plus countless trips to Walmart- hehehehe, eating Regina's delicious cheesecakes, sewing and sewing and more laughing!!!! I've really relaxed and taken me-time this summer, which is something I don't think I've ever done before.

But all the time, I've been scared inside. I've told Rob and my Momma, but it's been more than I've even told them. The bad dreams about work started two weeks ago, and my stomach has bothered me more, but the anxiety has really hit this week. I have never been one to have anxiety/panic attacks, but I think that is what I am experiencing, and it is NOT fun. I know I'll get through this. I just wish I didn't have to. I wish that teaching had not become what it has. I wish it was still all about the kids and the politics and pressures weren't ruining it. I wish I didn't feel so burned out, so stressed, and so useless. But being totally honest, I feel completely like a waste of space and a failure as a teacher. I hope & pray I am not. Momma told me yesterday (and deep down inside-where it counts- I think she is right) that once I am with the kids it will come back.

I have some goals for myself for this year:

• get better organized- After moving around grades and classrooms for the past few years I have a lot of stuff and it's not well organized. Barbara is going to help me this week unpack my new room, declutterize :), and organize.
• be a better reading teacher- I feel that I am stronger at teaching math, so I want to work really hard on becoming a better reading teacher. I have bought a couple books that I am working on reading towards that goal, and am excited to try some new structures in my literacy block.
• have the data to back up myself- Last year I was burned by the "data-god loving people." Not this year! I plan to have a BIG data notebook prepared as I did before when I was in the lower grades, and it will include behavior data. See I'm pretty good with kids who have behavior issues, and if only I would have documented in cute, color-coded charts and graphs last year the growth... well I would have at least had that on my side. "That" woman still wouldn't have liked me, "those" people at work still would have said their snotty things and had their data to back them up, but I would have had something at least. I learned my lesson, and this year, it's all about the data! I will have data for math, reading, behavior, you name it- I'm going to have it! I don't have to like the game, but I will learn how to play it and play it well!!!! I have to avoid the dreaded "ineffective teacher" label so that I can keep doing this thing I was called to do.
• continue the good things I started this year, namely, taking care of me- I am leaving at a decent hour at least three days a week (not letting myself get sucked in more than I have to), walking regularly, wearing my pedometer - I love that thing!, eating well, drinking more water, writing down here some positives about myself, my day, my life- "I Like Me's" as Crystal called them. Plus I have started a God-journal, and I want to keep that with me daily so I can write down things between God & me no matter where I am.
• learn to forgive myself- now THERE is a challenge!!!!!

I have really come to the end of myself, but I am finding that God is there, as He always is. I'm so thankful for that because if He weren't, I couldn't walk into that door tomorrow. He was really with me this past week when I had to go to a leadership retreat- I felt so peaceful (of course the mountains have that effect on me too, but this was definitely God!). I know He will go with me and help me; I'm counting on that!

There is a Matthew West song, "Strong Enough" that I have heard but it really hit home with me this week. He sings, "I know I'm not strong enough to be everything that I'm supposed to be. I give up... Lord I'm asking You to be strong enough for both of us..." That's me- I can't be what I'm supposed to be on my own, Lord. There are some kids and families who will count on me, and I can't let them down. I don't know how to come back from the burn-out, betrayal, and hurt I feel inside, and I'm scared that I can't "come back." But this I know. I was made to be a teacher; I have no doubt that God formed me for this work. I know He called me, and I know He is carrying me through this rough time. I wish I wasn't experiencing this, but I know I will learn something useful and when I look back I'll be glad for the experience.

God, walk in there with me and help me come back, please. Because this is a big part of who Rebekah is and she truly does adore those kids.

Ready or not, God, here we go. The school bell is calling us, Father.

***************************************************************************************************************************

For those who pray for me (THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU), I might start putting prayer needs here too if that's okay.

• My back is really giving me trouble after last week's retreat and sitting in chairs all day. I need God to heal this permanently and help me. When it gets bad like this it interferes with my walking.
• I also have all the symptoms of a stress fracture in my left foot (have had one there before) and it is bothering me. I want to keep walking to get healthier. Please pray for these with me.
• All my old kids as they move to 4th grade, a few at new schools. Pray God will help them have good teachers who will see the good inside them and love them too.

Why am I like this???

God, I know You are forgiving and merciful and full of love. Why can I not just forgive myself and accept myself the way I am? Why do I treat myself so meanly? Why does it matter to me so much that a few people might be offended or not like me or not think I am "Ms. Wonderful?" Why am I like this?

Please help me Father.

I forgive other people so much more quickly than I do myself. You can be mean to me, lie about me, walk all over me, and I'll find a way to forgive and still like you. But when it comes to myself, I can't seem to forgive myself for any little thing, real or perceived. I know where the roots of some of this lie, but don't seem to be able to totally get through it. I start to better and feel better and then something comes along and sabotages it. This week it was hearing that two colleagues were telling others were talking/complaining about me to another teacher. Do I need to see the shrink or take a pill, Lord? You are the healer. Can't you heal my messed up mind?

I developed a wall this past year after so much garbage at work, and got angry. That wasn't good, but neither is being this mealy-mouthed, "I'm sorry for everything under the sun" person either. God, please help me to find the right balance in You. I can't go on like this crazy person.

Smorgasbord Post

So belly up to the table. I'm rambling away in my head, so here goes. :)

Can't get Joplin and the other towns hit so hard by tornadoes out of my mind. I stayed up waaaay late last night because when I said I was going to sleep I happened to see that the Joplin area was getting hit by bad storms and possibly another tornado. I started praying and kept updating the weather page I was on to see what was happening. Next thing I know it was midnight and I was still awake praying. Guess that might be silly, I don't know. But I did it and boy, was I tired today. Doubt God moved a storm all on account of me, but oh well.

Tonight the storms are in the area where we are from and where our families are. Praying for all of them tonight and those communities too.

Last night Momma texted to check on us as she'd heard on the news that our area was getting bad storms. Tonight I called to check on her and asked Rob to check on his mom. We are Midwesterners through & through. Grown up and lived there our whole lives. Never thought about storms like this before- they happen all the time; you get used to watching the weather, being aware of what's going on, and living life. Just makes me think about living my life the way I ought to and reminds me that each day I get to wake up is a blessing and one I ought not to waste. That old song says, "I don't know who holds tomorrow, but I know who holds my hand." Important thing to know in times like these.

My smiley list for right now:

• Two weeks from tomorrow, we will all be reunited again- the N.C. part of our family and the Illinois part of our family, and I can HARDLY wait!!!! :) :) :) :) :)
• Two weeks from tomorrow will be my last day with students and we will have our celebration. I will be missing our last day for the first time in my life as a teacher to stay home with my parents, sister, brother-in-law, and niece. Though I am taking the day off, we will be going over to the school so the kids can meet Zoe and the rest of my family and for me to wave goodbye to my kids on the bus lot as they leave for the year. This year my Momma, Pop, and sister will join me and be with me at a very emotional moment for me. I hope they can see the love my kids & I share and why I do what I do.
• Sidebar- We teachers all do this every year, line up along the bus gates and wave to the kids as they leave. The kids all hang out the windows shouting to us. I cry, I am the only teacher that does, and I do it every year. I can't help myself. They take away a piece of me, and I cry to see them go. I worry about them, I love them, and yes, in spite of it all this year, I will miss them. Today one of my kids said, "You wave to us kids every year don't you? You cry too, don't you, Mrs. T.? Will you be there to wave goodbye to us? Will you cry when you say goodbye to us?" Hmmm.... I hope they know how much I really do love them in spite of their ornery side, their stealing, cussing, fighting, lying.... I really do love them. I can't help myself. :) Jesus loves me; guess He can't help Himself either. I really am so thankful for that.
• Two weeks and two days from today our "baby" will graduate from high school. I plan to make that whole weekend as special and fun for us all as I can. We're getting family photos done at the Arboretum, and I'm looking forward to that! I want to make as many memories and write them in my heart and mind. Can't wait! Did I say that already? :)
• Three weeks from today and I will be temporarily "free" (sort of) of some of this insanity called NCLB, AYP, EOG..... I will have training the two weeks after school is out and then again in August, so I don't really have much time off, but at least July is looking slow. Praying they don't find any training for us to have to attend in July. I plan to read, spend time with my family, read, make lots of cards, walk & ride my new bike, read, enjoy my flowers, eat homegrown, fresh tomatoes to my heart's content, read, go to the farmers' market when I want to, and relax, and oh yeah, read. :)

Well, folks that's it for tonight. Love to you all and wherever you are I pray you are safe from the real storms and the other ones life can throw at us.

Beka :)

EOG's- we're almost there!

We're almost through round 1 of EOG's! I CANNOT say enough how thankful I am for all your prayers! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please keep praying- one more day of this for third & fourth graders and two more for fifth graders. Then a week of "remediation" and more retesting for many kids.Whatever the scores are, I am very proud of my children! They have worked hard, behavior has been good, very little in the way of frustration, quitting, bad attitude... hopefully that will pay off and result in great scores, but either way I am thankful that they have cooperated and tried. :)

I have some stories I may share, but I am just hopping on here quickly tonight. Let me just say that I find God to never cease to be amazing. He used a song most Christians would not approve of from the title to help me share His love this week, and the result blew me away. God, please let that memory stick in the mind of my friend and never leave him. Let it come back to him over & over & over again when life gets hard.

Last night was Matthew's last concert (and ours as parents). Very moving night for Rob & I. I videoed all his songs, and will try to get one posted this weekend. Here he is with his band teacher afterwards. This kid young man hates to smile for photos, I don't know why. He was smiling two seconds before,

but then... this. :) Go figure!

Tonight we had a photo shoot at the arboretum.

I can't wait to see the photos and share some here!!! Our photographer was great, took TONS of photos, and let Matthew change from his BDU's (all Matthew wears anymore), to his dress outfit, to his cap/gown, to his JROTC Army uniform. She was terrific! Matthew was his goofy-don't-smile-for-the-camera self, but she got some good ones of him I think. The one thing that really hit Rob & I tonight was when Matthew helped her fold up her flag they'd used as a prop. We stood there watching our son, soon to be a soldier, fold up an American flag. God, if it is possible, please let us never receive one of those folded flags on his behalf. And if it is what the future will bring, please help us make it. No matter where our son goes, let him never forget that You love him and that his family (all of us) love him. Keep him IN You. That is, in the end, the single most important thing to me- that my three kids live for Christ all their days.

Those big hands... once upon a time they belonged to a little baby boy who could barely breathe, who was covered in tubes and monitors and we couldn't even hold. His little finger could barely grasp ours and we didn't think he'd live. Now he is this gentle giant of ours about to leave home and go serve his country.

And on a silly note- notice how high water his pants are- yes, that is how much this young man has grown! He is TALL! :) He just told me tonight that MEPS measured him at 6'6"!!!!!! WOW, that is tall! :)

Well, I'm outta here for tonight. Going to try to crash early. That concert last night was LONG- almost three hours- didn't get out of there until 9:40!

EOG week is here

Please pray for the children at our school, and the teachers and staff. The End of Grade tests are here. Stress and pressure are at crazy levels for us all. I could say a lot about the insanity of our system, the injustices I feel exist, the stupidity of so much time lost for assessments all year long and the amount of time we lose for teaching with these assessments... I could say much, but instead I am going to just pray, try to sleep and ask for your prayers.

God is always there

God, I know you're always there. No matter the situation. No matter how good or how bad things might be or appear to be.

Please be with my cousin who needs You right now.

Please be with Rob & I and a situation, You already know it all and how it will all work out. Help us to be like You and forgive where we need to forgive. Help us have Your wisdom about how to proceed. Please provide what was taken from us so that we can provide shelter, food, transportation for our family as we enter the lean season once again. Right now I can't see a way through this lean time intact, but I know You can provide. Help me to give it to You totally, trust You totally and wait patiently for Your help.

Most of all, God, please help me to forgive because I've been forgiven much I know.

Sunshine

Thank you God for another pretty good day- well, by this year's standards, a really good day.

I even got to see "my girl" come back out from the dark recesses she's been hiding in. I was afraid I'd not see that side of her again, but thank you heavenly Father, the hurting, angry side went back in just as quickly as it had popped out again these past few weeks. I'd begun to feel like a failure for the backtracking she'd done. I'd questioned myself and my ability to reach "these" kids. I must confess that I was truly regretting my decision to move up to be with her.

And it wasn't just her; the past weeks have been seen behavior in other friends really worsening. The days have been so dark lately in our classroom for some of us kids and their worn-down teacher. Today was like the sun emerging after a raging storm. Its warmth reached way down deep inside me and the smile on her face and her wonderful laugh, oh how I wish she knew how happy she makes me too! We spent some one-on-one time at specials together, making copies, grading papers, laughing, her telling me jokes, talking about her grandmother, and sharing her worries and wishes for the EOG's. It was time so wonderfully well spent.

I moved up to be with her- both sides of this wonderful child. I do so love this child- the sunshine-y side and the stormy one, but this day... well, it was a welcome and much needed reprieve in the storms of our third grade life.

I pray the days of sunshine increase for her and the days of storms, hurt, and anger lessen. I pray that anyway, for her and for all my friends, and for children all over the world.

A Rollercoaster Day

Today has been a roller coaster kind of day for the emotions. Don't want to bore the one person who probably is reading. :) Don't want to bore myself or be a drama queen.

Let's just say I had to take Matthew to the doctor to help him get past the last obstacle to his admission into the Army. I'm about six million emotions wrapped up together, and it's a little hard to juggle today.

I came back from the dr.'s office to be greeted by a colleague yelling at me about my class and finding out that it was a big awful mess- suffice it to say true ugliness and that I am more embarrassed than I have ever been as a teacher. I keep trying to write about the day without saying anything I shouldn't or seeming like I'm just griping again. Best to just be quiet. Let me just say that some think I am not too soft or not strong enough or that I am a bad teacher- well they can take my class anytime. I doubt too many people would have hung in there this long, and I have dealt with a lot of stuff this year and still come back each morning. That seems like someone who is pretty strong and tough to me. I may look like a softy because I hug EVERY kid I know and most adults too. I may seem like I'm a big baby because I tear up and get so wrapped up in my kids, but I have been a momma for 21 years and a teacher for 17, and I have a firm hand and can be the bad guy when I need to be. I may not manage kids the way other teachers would, but I do get results.

So, I'm going to go crawl in bed with my best friend, cry on his shoulder, try to sleep a bit, get up and do it all over again tomorrow. Just, God, pretty please can tomorrow include no racial slurs, threats, chairs, physical attacks, stealing, cursing, or other yucky stuff? And if you could either keep the visitors away or help them to see the good in me and mine, that would be really, really nice and just plain refreshing too. Okay? Thanks!

the wall

I think I have found that proverbial wall I've heard people talk about. You know, the one you hit where your body says, "No more!"? Yeah, that one.

My back is healing but still giving me some pain, especially at night. :( Making for poor sleep. Add to that my already insomniac mind, the huge amount of work I had to do this weekend for work and grad school which kept me up way late, some food-poisoning ick over the weekend, some people I love and am concerned about, and I am now very sleep-deprived.

I started feeling my energy say "Adios" at lunch and by the second grade level meeting today, all I wanted to do was go home and crawl in bed. Which is exactly what I did. I left straight after the meeting and went home and crawled in bed. Rob and Matthew came home about six and found me there still. That is so not me.

I've got the bills paid finally now, and am going to grade a few papers, print a couple things I need, and make one math paper for my lesson tomorrow and I'm going to bed. I want to feel better and be sleeping well with a pain-free back.

Praying for some very special people who are facing life challenges or making important decisions. You know who you are, and I LOVE you!

Quiet weekend

My house is quiet right now- it's happening more and more in the past couple months. The kids are growing up and slowly preparing us for the empty nest. That's a bittersweet thought, some days more bitter, some more sweet.

We had a great time of laughter (Rob & I) with Momma yesterday and that was sooooo nice. We may be 1,000 miles away from the ones we love, but we try hard to stay close. It felt good to help Momma laugh at a really hard time in her life too. I LOVE my Momma (in case you hadn't noticed), and I LOVE when I can give back to her just a portion of what's she's done for me.

I woke up yesterday with a killer headache, and it has not gone away since. Driving me crazy. I am also extremely achy, exhausted, and my back continues to really bother me (and that just needs to stop!). I have not felt this tired in a long, long time, and I've been pretty worn out for a while. I wonder if this is a bug or if my body is trying to speak to me. :)

I finally got the interactive white board stuff through Donors Choose and have spent part of this weekend trying to learn how to use it and downloading lessons for this week. I'm excited to finally have this tool and learn how to use it. I KNOW my kids are going to love it!!!!

It promises to be a very busy week. Two mandatory evening events at my school, a workday (with meetings and report cards), a daytime school event, my intern teaching a lesson (and my paperwork for that), the tutor starting (hopefully the kids take to her without too much drama) and all the normal busy-ness.

Somewhere in all this I have two grad school projects looming on the horizon plus this week's homework. I have no clue where I'm going to get it all done, especially feeling like this, but God always helps me to find a way. I just wish I felt better. It's no fun slogging along feeling icky.

Many, many thanks to those of you who prayed for my kids last week during benchmarks. The final results were not what the higher-ups wanted, but I was EXTREMELY proud of my class. There was a lot of growth in many ways, and I saw my kids trying harder than they ever have before.

Please pray for Kari and her family. My parents could use prayer too.

Thanks! Hope wherever you are, it's a great week!

Pray for Kari

Please pray for this family. The situation is very grave.

Benchmark Prayers

This week will be the third quarter benchmark exams at our school. Please pray for the students of my school. They need your prayers, and so do all the teachers who are getting a lot of pressure and negativity. And so do those who are doing the pressuring and negativity as they are feeling it from higher up too.

Some of my third grade friends have an especially hard time during benchmark testing, and it affects them and the whole class, making it harder for us all to focus and do our best. Please pray for peace to fill my classroom and my children's hearts and minds.

I would also appreciate prayer because I have a sick back, and I am in a great deal of pain. Last week was rough, and I am hurting so much today I can hardly move. Without God's help, it will be a long, miserable week.

Thanks!

Prayers

Jumping on here really quickly as it's almost 11:30 PM, and I should be in bed, asleep- but as usual, I am not. :)

Praying tonight for Japan- their troubles don't seem to be ending anytime soon.

Still praying for Haiti whose troubles seem so overwhelming from what I read.

Praying for my sister.

Praying for my Pop.

Praying that Rob comes home safely from his trip. I miss him and he is missing us really badly!

Praying I can do everything that needs to be done this week. And that I sleep well this week alone (well with the dog anyway). :)

Night!

God be with them.

Father, please be withe people of Japan in these days. They need You. They need help, wisdom, peace and comfort. You are the source of all that. Help the Japanese people to have the love and support of the world and to see You through this tragedy.

Help us Americans to see past our own difficulties and reach out to the world in time of need. Help us to not get bogged down in the politics, the ugliness, the tensions and bickerings of our day, but to see past our own problems and help.

Rebekah

Today's smiles

I am exhausted from another night of very little sleep. Rob & I were both up at 4 AM after being up until about midnight. Ugh! I'm too old for that deal! :) I think I will call it an early night soon and pray for a good night's rest.

My :) List for today:

• Another sign of spring- storms are here this afternoon/evening- YEAH!!!! Oh how I love the rain and thunder and lightning! I take after my Momma that way. :)
• A nice, brief talk with our literacy coach today. She doesn't think I'm doing a horrible job, and gave me some positive feedback- a first this year and oh so nice to hear!!! She gave me some suggestions too which was also nice- real, practical suggestions based on a conversation or observation of what is actually going on in my world. :) Refreshing!!!
• Picking up my daughter from the college! Haven't done that in a week or two. We haven't gotten to spend much time together lately, and I have missed her a lot!
• Hugs from my daughter at the end of a rough afternoon- just what I needed was the love and support of my family!
• Homemade potato soup made by Robert waiting for us when we got home- yummy! AND "grown-up" grilled cheese sandwiches made by Rob AND tomatoes!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, I can't wait for tomatoes all summer! :)
• Our hardworking oldest son makes me so proud! Robert is working two jobs. Today he worked with the contractor all day, went from that job straight to the restaurant at 4 PM, will get off there and go straight back to work with the contractor & be painting at a local Walmart from 10 PM-7 AM, then report to another job & work another full day tomorrow before getting off finally tomorrow night. He just turned 21 and is not afraid to work hard. I did something right to have such a great young man as my son!!!!!!!!!!
• I will probably regret this in some way, but it is what it is. I'm wiped out. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. This year is kicking my backside! I have a lot of things that "need" to be done. Paperwork that is due or past due at work. Papers that I need to grade (just a small pile though), grad school work that I have to do, and oh so much more. You know what, though. I'm not doing it tonight! I'm going to go to read my Bible, crawl in bed and pray for some rest and relief and a day of being His light tomorrow. One more day, Father, one more day. I'll get there one foot in front of the other, one day at a time.

Dear God, it's me, the crazy one.

"How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Look on me and answer, LORD my God. Give light to my eyes..." Psalm 13:1-3

Please God, I need You,

Rebekah