Matthew

It's getting later and I need to be asleep. Story of my life, huh? :)

Just wanted to write down for myself to look back on. Tomorrow Rob will drive our "baby" - our youngest who almost didn't make it- to the Army recruiters' office where he will leave for Charlotte to go through MEPS. We are eagerly/anxiously/nervously/excitedly/ and a bunch of other -ly's waiting to hear the outcome of his physical. He scored VERY high on his military aptitude test, so he is off to a good start.

I have a lot of emotions and thoughts about all of this, especially since he is just 18 and soon to graduate high school. But above all, I want Matthew to choose the life path God has in store for him. As long as Matthew never parts company with Christ, I am at peace with the life he lives. If he pleases God, strives to stay as pure as one can, and looks to Him for guidance in his own life decisions, what more could I ask? Nothing!

I've not really "gone there" as there was just no need to cry, worry, stress, etc. over something that might or might not happen. I have no explanation except that I feel a peace about it- that whatever comes from it all, God will be with Matthew and God will be with us. In that sense, I am okey-dokey. :) I just am starting to realize that my child, my youngest child, my first child to leave, may be leaving me sooner than I had ever pictured. I have to start getting ready to say the "big" goodbye. The momma in me is not ready for that, but I know I'll be okay.

God, you gave him to us. He almost was taken from us, but for whatever reason, You spared his life, and I am thankful- oh so thankful- for the 18 years we've had together with Matthew Lane. He's yours, I know. I give him back to you now. We've done what we were commanded to do- raise him up in the knowledge of You and train him to have a relationship with You. Now I do my very best to release him back into Your hands (in whose hands he's been all along), and I have to trust You. Help me to do that. Help Rob to do that. Help us to let him go when the time comes - be it to Uncle Sam or whoever/whatever.

Thanks God!