Tomorrow is the last day of another school year. How funny that the last days seem so far away for much of the year, and yet at the end of the year they fly by. Curious.
I've done just about everything I needed to do- just about. :) Yesterday was one goodbye with one of the kids who left early for an out of state trip with her grandmother. Tomorrow I will put on my shades, walk out to the bus lot and tearfully wave goodbye once more as I do every year. I always feel like a dork crying, but oh well.
Today I had several (and I mean many) "old" kids visit me, a couple asked me "Do you still love me, Mrs. Thomas?" And "my girl" - the one I moved to 3rd grade for- oh, that girl, how I do love her. She asked me over and over today (and last weekend and many other times this year), "Do you REALLY love Mrs. Thomas? Will you REALLY always love me?" Breaks my heart sometimes when I hear her ask that thinking of the reasons why she might have to ask that of someone who she knows loves her. I got a long hug from one of my 1st graders today. When I asked her the reason for such a great, but long hug...she said (get out the tissues), "Mrs. Thomas, I just realized I only have one more day to hug you." Sniff, sniff, sniff. One of my boys spent part of the day sitting very near to me and the other part of the day on the other side of the room with this terribly sad face. His mom texted me tonight to tell me that he'd watched our class movie and cried three times tonight. Another boy brought me another sweet note (he has given me several this past month)- it made me tear up- "Mrs. Thomas, you make me laugh and when I am sad you make me happy.... Love, Guess Who."
I don't know how this happens- how I get so attached to my kids year after year after year. I go through this every June, and I hate that it hurts them and me. I tell my kids every year that goodbye is part of life, and though it hurts, we must do it. I try to do it gracefully and without drama and still let them know that they take a part of me away with them. I try to make sure every year, that my kids KNOW that I love them (and then I pray that His love is what they really find out about somehow someday). I've wondered why I am so affectionate and attached and is this wrong or weird.... But I think I've just about decided that maybe it's good. Maybe these kids need someone to love them like this, maybe they need to know that there is someone out there in the world who loved them enough to cry when they left. I just hope and pray that my small amount of time with them and the love I've tried to share will help them through the hard times to come.
God go with all (all 18 years) of "my kids"- I had them for a little while and sure have loved being their teacher. Keep them safe, let them know they are LOVED and cherished by their crazy old-lady teacher and most of all by You. Help each and every one of them to make it, to find happiness in their lives, to be all that they were meant to be.
Goodbye 2011-2012 Kids, your Mrs. Thomas loves you very, very much!
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