100

I am hesitant to say it out loud.  I haven't made a big deal about it and probably won't for lots of reasons.

I don't actually know my heaviest weight ever because I quit letting the doctor's office weigh me out of shame at my huge-ness.

I'm really proud & really not proud (YES, BOTH) of losing 100 pounds- geesh, that's approaching what a small, fit adult weighs.

It's great that I've lost that weight, but it's awful that I ever weighed that much to start with.

To go around telling people "I've lost 100 pounds" would 1) be looking for pats on the back, and I am NOT doing this for anyone but me and 2) would be telling the rest of the world, "Look at what a fat cow I was, now I'm just a less fat cow."  Yeah, I'm not into that.

But, here it is anyway- in spite of myself.  I have been holding right around the 100 pounds from my heaviest recorded weight mark for about a week or so now.  It's hard to believe.  It was more work than anyone knows.

I can't believe I'm going to say this either but 100 more and I'll be just about, almost to a good weight for me.  I can't imagine how that will feel or look.  It's scary but exciting.

R :)