Another Year- sigh

Yesterday was the end of the school year for this year's group of "Kinderkids" as I call them. This was one of the hardest years I've had as a teacher. I started this entry with a list of all the "hard things," but now coming back to look at what I've journaled, I think I will just try to remember that it was a hard year and let all those "things" go. Someday I won't even remember or care that my heart was hurt by coworkers, events, students, parents, or myself. :)

There have been lots of good things to smile about along the way, and that is what I want to never forget:

• an assistant sent to me from heaven who has become my good, dear, friend and is such a joy to be with; she is a true Christian who tries, and succeeds, to put Him first in all she does! I will get, God willing, the privilege of having her as my first student teacher next January. Kristen is and will be a terrific teacher! I pray God uses her mightily!
• Sunshine- such a long list of accomplishments I couldn't begin to name here. She has a long way to go, but has come so very, very far this year! I thought my heart was going to break saying goodbye to her and knowing I will likely never see her again.
• J- another totally different boy when comparing June to August! Smiles and is happy almost all the time now! Entered the classroom with such enthusiasm and participated in all we learned with such excitement after he got over his first few weeks of school.
• Lots of other kids who made me smile and learned almost everything I could teach who returned lots of love and joy to me. Taught me about life and helped me deal with death when the chicks all died; so caring and kind- most of the time. :)

And then there were these two "small" moments on my last day that blessed me and reminded me that, perhaps, even on my bad days, bad months, bad years, I am doing something for Him, something that may make a difference to some child, somewhere, some day. I only hope that whatever small thing I meant to the kids I touched this year, it won't just be a good memory that they will have, but that it will be a light in their lives when the days are dark, and that they will realize that that "light" was His light shining through me. I hope that I do let His light shine through me.

• The little girl (don't even remember her name right now) in first grade that just "came along" with her friend (one of my kids from last year) one morning as she came to give me my daily morning hug, who then came EVERY day herself for the rest of the year to give me a hug and tell me to have a good day. She came to say goodbye to me yesterday as she is moving again to another new school, and to tell me to have a good summer. I was so humbled by this little one who must have felt loved by me but who gave me such joy every day with her smile and hug and love!
• Breanna (a 5th grader) who graduated yesterday and when it was time to leave with her parents following her ceremony wanted to come say goodbye to me- went right past her former K teacher and ran across the playground to tell me goodbye, wanted to introduce her little sister to me (who will be a Kinder next year) and was crying when she said goodbye and hugged me.

Yeah, Rebekah, this year's been hard, but God put enough "sun-spots" in your life this year to keep you going and to help you make it through. Maybe He put those "lights" in your life for a reason. Yeah, just maybe...