"Why Me?"- this is not what it sounds like

There is a beautiful Christmas song playing right now. It's supposed to be from Joseph's perspective asking God, "Why me? I'm just an ordinary man. Why her? She's just a young girl... Why here? etc. etc. etc. It made me think about all my blessings and the problems I've seen others face, even in my own family. I have asked God "why?" many times, and I know I'm not alone, but I decided to turn the "why" around because God could just have easily not answered prayers in the ways He has or He could have chosen a different path for my life. All would have still been God's work, but seriously, why does God work the way He does? I don't know, but I am thankful for all the blessings He's given me, all the times He's been with me in the hard times, all His help, His forgiveness.... So, really this is just a "reverse thank you list" between God and me.

God, why me?

• Why me? Why did you die for me? Why do you keep on loving me and forgiving me when you, alone, know how wicked and undeserving I really, truly am?
• Why did you bless me with Rob when I was only 16 and give us a good marriage?
• Why did you keep us married through some pretty hard times?
• Why did you give me three wonderful children?
• Why did you protect me and the unborn children I was carrying in through car wrecks, health problems, poor nutrition, etc.
• Why did you spare Matthew's life?
• Why did you allow me to be what I wanted- a wife, a mom, a teacher?
• Why do you allow me to see the hurts and wrongs in children's lives and be there for them and love them and be loved back most of the time?
• Why do you bless my daily work and allow me to be able to work with children and families?
• Why do you provide our daily needs?
• Why have you blessed us with a nice rental home?

God, I don't really understand why you have loved me at all, why you have blessed me with a wonderful family and a good marriage, or why you have taken care of me all these years. Sometimes it is especially hard to understand when I see others (friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, the homeless people I pass daily) who have lost children, had marriages fail, been through tough times. But I know You are with all of us who call on You, and I know You have been with me. I just want you to know that I am thankful for all that You have done for me. And I am so thankful that You would look down from above and see this very undeserving person and choose to be involved in my life. I'm grateful that you've helped in all the ways you have, and that even though I have had problems, too, You've never left me or forsaken me.

God, thank you for choosing me- even if I don't understand.

And, God,

Merry Christmas