To Scream or Not To Scream

I yelled this week. I realize that's no earth-shattering statement and to my family probably not a shocker, but it surprised an entire cafeteria full of kids and adults when I politely said to my neighbor at the lunch table, "Excuse me for bellowing in your ear, but..........." I proceeded to yell across the cafeteria to a student to sit down. It certainly did get the kids' attention, but more so, the adults there. They were all commenting for the rest of the week about their shock and surprise at me raising my voice and yelling.

Hope that is a good thing about me- that I don't yell often. We had a big debate one day recently about whether yelling at children is a good thing or not. A lot of people around think that yelling is a way to motivate kids; but I disagree! Of course, God knows, I've yelled at my own three kids, but I don't think that is the best way. Sure, it gets their attention, but I don't think it really solves anything. I mean, my kinderkids stopped their moments of "insanity" when I yelled, but within just a few minutes, they were right back to the craziness at their lunch table.

I've watched a particular third grader this year- been trying to be a positive influence in his life. His teacher yells a lot! I mean, really, a lot! I know the kid's no saint himself, and that he instigates a lot of trouble just out of a sense of power/control and to show he's "tough." But, he hasn't given me any trouble, and maybe I'm just naive or dumb, but I think when you show kids respect and love, they are more likely to give respect and kindness back.

I hear a lot about "the kids at Allen Jay"- all from the teachers around our school. They think our school is some kind of ghetto-type school, which I can say it is NOT! We do have some kids who are rough and tough, and I do think there is a lot disrespect there, but I also think that we have a lot of staff who don't give respect to the kids. I wish there was a way to get them to understand that although we are adults and children should respect their elders, it doesn't mean that we can treat kids however we want and they will still respect us. You have to sow some seeds of love, kindness, fairness- respect, if you want to reap it.

So I will keep on trying to treat kids the way I want to be treated, and to show, by example, the adults around our school that kids can be "good"- even the "bad" ones they've labeled!