God Knows Where I Am

I have had times when I knew "God knew where I was..." Times when it was very clear that He saw me right at that moment and knew my needs and spoke to me in a way that was tangible, that I could not have any doubt that it was Him; those times were so moving and remain a memory that I look back on in my "days" when I doubt myself, doubt my Christianity and truly know I am loved.

Well, yesterday, three people spoke to my heart and two of them could have no idea what was going through my mind, and even the one could not know the intensity or hurt that is there. I think God sent three people in my path yesterday to say what they did, without even knowing it. Kristen's supervising prof came to meet us cooperating teachers yesterday, and she spoke right to my heart with some things she said. She was just sharing her own personal experiences (some of which are troubling in and of themselves). I'm 'paraphrasing' here to keep this short. She told me that she had heard a lot of wonderful things about me and that I was a special person. She said she could tell from talking with me that I took things to heart (don't have a clue what I did that made her be able to tell that). She said I looked tired and she wanted me to "not give up. You make a difference. You can't reach them all, but you can reach some, and you're here for those you can touch." How could she, a total stranger, have known my heart? Known I was thinking of leaving? Known the struggle that has been going on within me? She couldn't have. Then another teacher at our school was talking with me and had heard a false "rumor" that I was on the transfer list. I cleared that up, but told her I had thought of leaving AJE. She asked me not to leave, said our school needed me. She used a phrase to describe herself, but it is one I have borrowed and used myself for years now- "this is 'my place in this world'." Then my momma, who has some idea of the things in my heart, but not their full intensity, sent my sister and I an email yesterday that I found when I got home. She will never know how much that email meant to me. I will keep that forever!!!!!!! She said that we girls are being missionaries, and she equated mine to working in a foreign country where you can't go in as a "missionary" but have to go as something else and just shine God's love.

God knows where I am, and what I am struggling with. He took time out of His busy day dealing with death, illnesses, starvation, poverty, and a billion other needs far more important than mine to place people in my life that would speak a message they may or may not have known I needed.

Thanks God.