mourning for others

I've been really struggling with "issues" at work. Some of it is just petty stuff that I need to keep overlooking (some days I do better than others). Mostly, though, my heart just seems to break over the garbage I see in people's lives, mostly the kids I deal with and see at school, the kids my children go to school with, the kids Rob works with, the kids I see in our neighborhood... I can't hardly stand to watch the news anymore because of this same thing. It hurts too much to care about people. I've been told so many things related to this by pastors, church members, principals, fellow teachers, and family. And all these things are true. I shouldn't care so much. I shouldn't take other people's problems "home" with me, I shouldn't take things to heart, I can't let it get me down, I can't solve these problems...... These are all correct, and I know it. The "trouble" is that I can't do it.

I've been thinking about this a lot this year. I know I will sound like I'm just justifying myself, but didn't Jesus weep/cry/express sorrow when he looked out over Jerusalem? When John the Baptist was beheaded, the Bible says, Jesus departed to a deserted place by himself. I doubt he went away because he was happy. I wonder where He went & what He thought & did? When Lazarus died, the Bible says, "when Jesus saw her weeping... He groaned in the spirit and was troubled... Jesus wept." Jesus is God's son, perfect. He is able to see the "big picture;" He knows the way things will turn out, and He can understand better than we can, that things can be meant for good. Yet, here is God, in human form, and he is troubled, sorrowed, and even crying. Why? Because he hurts for the people he cares about and is sorrowful at the sight of others suffering.

So, if Jesus himself cried and was hurt at the pain in the world he encountered, then why do I think I would not? I've decided that it must be okay for me to be this way. I mean, God made me who I am didn't He? And, though many of my life experiences are a result of my own choices, some were not my own and had to be meant by God to help me become the person He wanted me to be. I know without a shadow of a doubt, that I have been placed in the schools He wanted me in. There must be a reason. And though it kills me sometimes to see the things I see and hear, if God put me there, it must be to care for those people. So, isn't it really okay, if I am troubled and sorrowed by what I see? Wouldn't He be if He were actually there in bodily form? Then, that gets me to thinking about this. Maybe that's why we are all put where we are, to be Him in bodily form, to be Him crying/weeping/mourning for those all around us who don't know Him, who have lives filled with pain, hurt, sorrow, garbage. Maybe someone has to weep for them. Maybe more people should weep and cry and hurt for others. Maybe I'm not in the wrong after all. Maybe??? That leads me to another verse from the Beatitudes: "Blessed are they who mourn for they shall be comforted." I'm no Bible philosopher and have not studied much, but maybe this is what Jesus meant??? Maybe He intends for some to be there to mourn for others who don't know. I've definitely got to think on this some more.