God smiled in my classroom

I know it might sound silly to those who don't know me, and maybe to some who do, but I walked around my classroom this week during benchmarks and just prayed silently, in my head, for each child as they began their tests this week, each day. I prayed that God would help them not become frustrated or overwhelmed. I prayed that He would give them peace and wisdom and help them to know what to do, what the questions/problems were asking for, and know how to solve them.

And, right there in my public school classroom, I felt God's presence with me. I knew that He was smiling down on us. No songs in the background, no band playing, no "holy" stuff from church or people saying things that church people say that, to be perfectly honest, often annoy me (and yes, I know I'm wrong for that, but I'm being honest here). No hallelujah's or "praise the Lord's" or anything. Just a teacher walking her room, and the sound of pencils scratching on paper. But there was God among a group of kids in a down & out school with their obese, big-mouth, struggling third grade teacher. And I'm not quite sure, but I think God might have been smiling with me in pride at how far my kids have come.

Third graders, I know you'll never see this, but your Mrs. Thomas ABSOLUTELY WITH EVERYTHING IN HER ADORES YOU and always will!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today the "judgment" already started and tomorrow is a full day of listening to/talking about how bad our scores are and how much we failed and how bad we are and "what are you going to do about it..." Knowing me, after a few hours of this, I'll probably get disgusted and fed up and go home a little (or a lot) angry. But I'm hoping I can remember that for a little while this week, God smiled down on us.

My kids and I have grown, we have worked hard, we have all learned about life, about third grade stuff, about how to learn and how to teach and how to grow as a person. I think, no, I KNOW that my kids and I are better people for working together, though it has been a hard growing time for many of us. Those are things that matter. The "people" above me have to look at numbers, but in the end, my kids are just numbers to them. My kids are, and always will be, people whose faces and personalities are engraved on my heart. I will carry little bits of them with me throughout my life, and I hope they will carry part of me with them wherever they go. That is what being a true teacher is about. Not some test score.