40 years

Forty years ago today my momma and daddy were married. I've been missing my daddy more (as I usually do at this time of year when the dogwoods start blooming and remind me of another life I lived long ago), and missing my momma- well that I do always. :)

I thought a lot about our lives as I cleaned and shampooed carpets this weekend... how they'd turned out so far... where our lives had taken us all... how things had happened... I wonder who we would be now if daddy hadn't died. I wonder if I'd be a better/worse/just different person. I hope I'm better for what I've gone through and learned. I hope I am a person that makes (most importantly of all) my heavenly Father proud of me, but I hope somehow, someway my daddy can see me and is also proud of me. I know my momma is, and that knowledge helps me sometimes when I'm low.

I am even more in awe of my mom now that I am getting a little older and wiser. I understand her so much better now that I have almost grown kids of my own. I thought about her a lot this weekend, how she had to bury her husband one day before her anniversary and a few days before her birthday. What a great way to celebrate! And do all she had to do with two young girls watching her very closely. I wonder, Momma, do you know how much I watched you? Do you know how amazing you are to me? Do you know how proud I am of you? How much I love you and respect you?

Somehow I know Daddy would be proud of you Momma, and how you went on each day, week, month... How you raised us to be who we are today. How you went on to love again and live a happy, fulfilled life. How you fought and survived the big "C." How you have lived for Christ in all that you've faced.

I'm thankful to God that He chose to send my momma someone else to live life with, to love & be loved by so that she would not be lonely the rest of her days. I'm thankful for that person, I've come to call "Pop" who has loved my momma for almost 25 years and who has loved us too. I know my daddy would be proud of you too, Pop. But most of all, he'd be thankful for you and all you've done and been to Momma & to us.

So, if it's not too weird, I'll wish my daddy up in heaven and my Momma down here a happy anniversary. Daddy, you are remembered still. Momma, I love you more than I can ever say. Thank you for bringing J & me into this world with daddy, loving us every day, teaching us to love Him, and how to live and for always being there for us.