His Still Small Voice

It is absolutely amazing to me how God uses music to minister to me. I understand and relate to King Saul and the way David's harp playing could soothe his savage spirit. I am very much the same. It just takes some peace & quiet, some music, and the next thing you know I am wide open & God starts to speak to my heart about things, to minister to me. I find God more often in music than I can say- in church of course, but in my car just as often, if not more.

This week, God has been there speaking to me, and for that Father, I am so very grateful. Thankful that You were there in the car Friday night with Rob & I as we drove around listening to Chris Tomlin's work and I cried and snotted my way through three or four songs. Thankful that you were there in the back row of our church today gently nudging me through the lyrics, speaking to my heart, letting me know it's okay and You're so very much in control of this crazy world and my crazy life.

You were there today from the first song to the last.

You were there when I wondered, what exactly does this "Hosanna" that we sing about all the time in church even really mean and You prompted me to look it up when I got home. Wow, it means, "save now or please save..." You knew I needed to know that today. And that was just the beginning.

You were there when the song sang about going "where you lead I'll follow..." I have Lord. I have. I left it all- my family, Father, my family- and everything and everyone I knew or have ever known- and there will never be any going back will there? I know it's not the same by any means as what You gave up, but will my small to You, but huge to me, sacrifice mean anything, will it be counted for anything, will it accomplish anything, will You help me when it's hard and I'm lonely and sad???

You were there when the song said "Savior, You can move the mountain. You are mighty to save..." You knew I had emailed someone last night to ask them to pray about a mountain in our lives that needs to be moved. It is so interesting that You led me to use that word last night, that You had this song in church today.

You were there in that song that so says how I feel and yet so shows how You care that You would take time to impress someone who chose the music for this week to choose these particular songs- songs I have sung many other times and been blessed by and praised You with and enjoy on a regular basis, but maybe never like I did today- "...Still You take time for me, I can't understand..."

You, the God of all the world, the God who spoke this entire universe, world, sky, sun, moon, stars, creatures aplenty- everything I can ever behold- You, who created me inside my mother, knew me before even she did, who made me the person I am, created me to be a freckly, child-adoring, easy-to-cry, and easy-to-give-my-heart away kind of person, who made me to be a softy, a bit gullible- You who knew what my life would bring and how those events would shape me even more into a person You would somehow, for some reason want to use for Your purposes...

You are here. Hosanna, please save me Father. I am just a sinful child who loves You so, but messes everything up. I know You are here and that You love me more than I can ever fathom. I thank You for teaching me things I need to learn and for the gift of music through which You best speak to me.

I love you God.