Day 1 is done

Today went pretty well. This training was good- well at least I liked it better than anything else we've had. Usually PD is hit or miss (often miss). This presenter was good, knows her stuff, was sharing very useful info and teaching us things many of us didn't know or clarifying misinformation.

I found out today that I do not have a class assigned to me yet; hoping maybe that will change tomorrow but who knows. I'm trying to relax and go with the flow, but I hope I do get kids soon. It's hard to listen to everybody making plans, to decorate and set up a new classroom, to work with grade levels when you don't know exactly what you will end up being.

And don't let me leave this out- let me just say I have the BEST young people around! Barbara & Matthew got up early and came to school with me. While I was in training all day, they started setting up the furniture in my new room, unpacking boxes and baskets and working on getting my room ready. Matthew made my door display- the neatest tree with a little owl and got the words cut out and everything laminated. Barbara is being the organization queen for me. THANK YOU YOUNG PEOPLE O' MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love my family, and am so very, very blessed!!!

My back started really hurting last week on the retreat by the end, and I am in horrible pain this evening. I went and fished out the pain medicine the doctor gave me back in March when it flared up then. So anytime now I am going to get sleepy (I hope). The recliner and I are going to be good friends for a few nights I'm afraid. I hate that because I missed Rob a lot today, but I cannot sleep in the bed when my back is hurting. :(

So, good night. Hope wherever you are, your Tuesday is filled with lots of laughter, some good hugs and tons of smiles!

Rebekah :)

What I got right today:

• no complaining or griping
• no words I regret from my mouth
• I'm still reading my Bible and doing my God-journal :)
• I volunteered (you did hear that right?) to lead two group activities at this Friday's opening staff meeting!!!!!! Do you know how huge that is????? I know it's going to hit me in a day or so, and I'm going to be wondering, "What in the world was I thinking?!?!?!?!" :)

My prayer requests for tonight:

• My cousin, Laura Beth, just had her first baby. I'm praying for her healing physically, lots of rest, and for God's help as baby, mom, and dad all learn each other and make all these big adjustments.
• My back- I NEED this to be healed. I cannot go like this much longer without a dr.'s visit, and I don't have the $, the time, or the desire to see the dr. again- especially when they'll just give me drugs and send me home.

Big I Like Me's :)

Hey, Momma, Crystal, and Rach, this is for me but also for you!

• I have been working hard on being healthier and living longer. I was on such a great roll with walking in spite of some really big challenges with work, grad school and everything else. Then I hurt my back again- ugh- and it was a little more difficult, but I kept going pretty well. Then, life got INSANELY busy here the past couple month with final grad school projects. I was still doing something but it wasn't as much as I had been doing. I was discouraged and worried, "Have I just fallen off the path again?" But I kept telling myself, "No, you have hit a hard time, life is too busy, but it's not that way for long. Do as much as you can. Give yourself some grace. You are still better off than you were six months ago, and still much more active than you were six months ago." And I have done just that- given myself some grace. :) :) :) HUGE HUGE HUGE growth for me, wouldn't you say? :)

• Next, I HATE hot weather. I feel awful in this humid, hot weather, get light-headed, puny... just not my kind of weather. So, the normal Rebekah would not do much in it. Well, again, we'll see how I am later this summer, but I think I am changing. Here's why. My classroom AC has crapped out; the room is HOT!!!!!!!! Seriously hot! After all day there, I went and stood (not sit) and watched some students play soccer, then ran every which way taking Barbara to work, going to get clothes, mulch and salad supper stuff with Matthew, fixed a delicious salad for the boys and myself, and..... get ready for this...... drumroll please..... Me, big 'ol Rebekah, went outside and opened and spread twelve bags of mulch, trimmed back, weeded, and watered for an hour in the heat! I came in soaking wet in sweat and hit a cold shower. :) I am soooo proud of myself! Oh and my pedometer reading for today - 2.53 miles. :)

I am liking me quite a bit, it's kind of surprising at times to hear a happy voice about myself. :) And as for this summer, I am ready. Rob & I have a game plan- a 5K walk in the mornings before it gets too awfully hot(ter) and then a bike ride in the evenings. Please pray I can do that often and that it has the effects I need/want it to.

Other smiles for my day.

• I now have 2 butterfly bushes- had to have another one.
• My kids and I had a sweet talk (and several were crying) this afternoon about how they don't have to miss me because wherever they go, they will take a piece of me with them, that when they are stressed, hurting, frustrated, discouraged, they're going to hear my voice telling them "I love you. I am proud you. You can do it! Don't give up," and how I will never forget them either.
• My daughter- she is a hot head, she and I can sure fight sometimes (though that gets less & less as she continues to mature and so do I :) hahaha). This 20 year old young lady is working two jobs and taking one summer class. She goes to work at McDonald's on the second shift and gets home usually around 11:30/midnight, and she is getting up with me each morning bright & early and going out the door to work with me at 6:30 each day to help volunteer every day. She works every bit as hard as any teacher or t.a. at my school! She loves my kids, mentors several students in the school, gives hugs to kids she knows and doesn't know (like her Momma) and shines His love to all the kids she sees. Then she comes home, changes clothes, and goes to work to do this all over again. I COULD NOT BE MORE PROUD of this young woman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please pray for her. I know she's tired, she has a situation at work that could be bad, and she is applying for work with the school system. I would LOVE for her to be able to get a job so that she could have regular work hours, better pay, some benefits and be able to pay for the rest of her college. Most of all, please pray with me that God will just bless her socks off for all the love and time she has given to a lot of kids and teachers. She really has loved some pretty unlovable kids this year, and I am more in love with her each day that passes!
• Hmmm, what else- oh yeah! My family will be here one week from tomorrow (but who's counting?!?!) And in less than two weeks I'll be through "hellyear"- :) aaaahhhh, that sounds so nice!

Love,

Beka

P.S. Rach, you asked me for photos. I promise I haven't forgotten you. I will have photos, if not before, by the weekend (inside & out). :)

Whew, is it Friday yet?

Boy this has been quite the week already, and today was only Tuesday. Only.

Yesterday I got pulled into another drama at the soap opera, As the School Turns. Boy, do I hate drama! Nothing like being yelled at by a colleague!

Today's fun included getting slugged by a student amongst other "normal" daily fun.

Here's to hoping for some peace & quiet tomorrow. For us all!

My :) for today:

• a cancelled staff meeting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How often does that happen? and YEAH!!!!!!!!
• getting to pick up Matthew from school, go home and meet Robert and do the grocery run with them- THANKS boys for helping your mom!
• time spent with my sons!!! I sure do love those two young men!
• pizza from Elizabeth's Pizza- delicious!
• sore legs- hopefully that means something is going on good inside them :)
• my pants were falling off of me as we walked around the store- felt so nice to have to keep hiking them up :)
• BEAUTIFUL clouds and the sun trying to peak through this evening as the boys and I came home from the store
• a new MP3 player to replace the one that died- and I know this is totally silly but I like my new little player- when you turn it on, it says "Hello" and when you turn it off it says "Goodbye"- cool! :)
• getting picture mail from my sister of my ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL niece, Zoe!!!! She is so pretty! I cannot hardly wait to see her!

Smile, it's almost Friday :)

I have done a killer lesson planning session this evening. Stayed at school until about 7 PM planning out my rotations and independent work and working on copying. Then came home and wolfed down some yummy supper- thanks to my old/young men for cooking a yummy dinner- and went back to planning. I finally have that done! :) Well, mostly, I still have guided reading to do- maybe. :) I missed seeing my Barbara Rose though as she was gone to work when I got home. :( I am not staying late more than one night a week anymore (I used to stay so late- but I can't say here how much/how late or I'd get in trouble with my Momma) :) :) :), and I hate having to do that. As it is, I am not compliant in several paperwork items I am supposed to have done, and will probably get written up for it, but with meetings five or more times a week during the day and after school, I don't know when we're supposed to do all this stuff.

For now, it's time to take my headache to bed. Nighty-night world!

My :) for today:

• We went to the symphony today- so neat! I've only gone to the symphony once a few years back when my parents took me - just them and me, oh, that was such a fun night, getting to go out with my parents as a grown-up, no kids, just my Momma, Pop, and me. :) Today brought back those good memories and made me smile thinking of them.
• Beautiful music- thank you God for music!!! They played music from various places around the world- loved that! My favorites were the African drum piece and the Argentinian dance piece.
• My class was almost saintly today on our trip. I was prepared with my "mean Mrs. Thomas" face (seriously have to share that story), but only had one episode with one student and the rest were GREAT, GREAT, GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SOOOOO proud of my kids! And soooo thankful that the "mean one" didn't have to come out today.
• Helped out another teacher who was called to jury duty. Made me feel good to be able to help someone else. I guess it might be conceited, but I like to feel needed and useful.
• Laughing with Rob while he read to me from one of our favorite teacher blogs as I worked. I did that for him last week while he worked; tonight was his turn. CRACKING me up!!!!
• And last, but not least, tomorrow is my Momma's birthday!!!! Happy Birthday Momma! :)

Sharing a thought

I read this the other day, and it was so timely, so what I needed. I asked the author if I could share it here.

You will be blessed I am sure!

Rebekah :)

My :) List today:

• Thai food with my young men tonight- just momma and her boys :) :) :)
• seeing Barbara for a few minutes as I took her to work- I miss the kids when they're gone so at least I got to see her tonight. :)
• having papers graded and entered into the grade book early tonight- yes!

Benchmarks Day 1 and a big I Like Me thought

Day one of third quarter benchmarks are behind us. I will leave the judgement to those higher than me or to my colleagues who will decide how successful or unsuccessful my students and I were. I'm sure to be notified by one or both of those groups sooner or later.

As for my opinion, I was PROUD PROUD PROUD of my kids today. I was, quite literally, moved to tears by the level of effort I saw in my room, the amount of hard work I saw, the perseverance I saw displayed by all my kids. They made me proud long before I got the scores. And that hard work, perseverance and effort did pay off in some big improvements for many and almost all of my kids went up from last quarter's scores.

Take that you stupid test! Take that school district. The kids and I really don't care what you have to say!!!! I taught my heart out and they worked their hardest. So there. :P

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

And my other thought for the day is this. Allow me to introduce myself, in case you hadn't met me before.

My name is Rebekah. To a very small few, I am sometimes called Beka. To a very few, special cousins, I am BekaBoo. I am also "Mom" or "Mommy." During the day you might hear me referred to as Mrs. Thomas or Mrs. T.

Who I am not?

• Miss Perfect whose room and home is pristine, whose lesson plans are wonderful, whose husband, children, home, nails, clothes, oh generally everything is exactly as she wants it to be. Who looks perfect and knows she is such a wonderful human being. I have a big butt, great children who are NOT perfect, a house that is never quite clean enough with floors you would definitely not want to eat off of, and am way too big mouthed & sensitive, and too many other faults to ever be this person.

• Miss I am God's Gift- I can never be her. She is a notch about Miss Perfect and she knows it.

• Miss Organized- I could never be her either. I've moved too many times, have taught to many things, and accumulated too much stuff. Add to that, living in a smaller home and having most of my teaching things in storage, running three million directions on any given day to pick up & deliver various young people to work, school, church or other places, grad school, and who knows what else- well, I'm just not to her level either, and likely will never be.

• Miss Know-a-Lot - This lady is cousin to "Miss Know It All" - she may or may not be as obnoxious as her cousin depending on the day. I could try to do this, I suppose, but I know, only too well, what I do not know and how much that is. I would be such a liar if I even tried to act like this.

• Miss You Should Do What I Do/Say/Think/Feel- I don't know why, but I just don't care if you agree with me or do what I say/think/feel. You are free to be different. Please allow me to be also. Now, this might not necessarily apply to my children. ;) hahahaha Just kidding!

• Miss Smug/Arrogant/Want-to-Impress, Shmooz- This person is only interested in appearances and how she can advance herself through dressing fine, kissing up, and looking good to her higher ups- but doesn't care one iota how she treats those beneath her.

I am just me, Rebekah, Mom, Mrs. T, Beka... big mouthed, VERY loud laugher, too sensitive at times, waaaay too critical of myself (could be called a self-hater but I'm working on that), hugger extaordinaire.

But I'll tell you what kind of teacher/mom I am- Miss I Love Them All!!!! And guess what, I like that about me, and I am NOT going to change that one little itty bit!!!! So no matter what judgment heads my way on Friday or any other day coming up, I'm going in with this little chip on my shoulder. I may not be "as good" as the rest of them, but I am not changing who I am. I am going to teach my kids for life, not for the test. I am going to hug and love them all, and know that is what is truly important to their lifelong success. I am going to like me too- no matter what!

Today's smiles

I am exhausted from another night of very little sleep. Rob & I were both up at 4 AM after being up until about midnight. Ugh! I'm too old for that deal! :) I think I will call it an early night soon and pray for a good night's rest.

My :) List for today:

• Another sign of spring- storms are here this afternoon/evening- YEAH!!!! Oh how I love the rain and thunder and lightning! I take after my Momma that way. :)
• A nice, brief talk with our literacy coach today. She doesn't think I'm doing a horrible job, and gave me some positive feedback- a first this year and oh so nice to hear!!! She gave me some suggestions too which was also nice- real, practical suggestions based on a conversation or observation of what is actually going on in my world. :) Refreshing!!!
• Picking up my daughter from the college! Haven't done that in a week or two. We haven't gotten to spend much time together lately, and I have missed her a lot!
• Hugs from my daughter at the end of a rough afternoon- just what I needed was the love and support of my family!
• Homemade potato soup made by Robert waiting for us when we got home- yummy! AND "grown-up" grilled cheese sandwiches made by Rob AND tomatoes!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, I can't wait for tomatoes all summer! :)
• Our hardworking oldest son makes me so proud! Robert is working two jobs. Today he worked with the contractor all day, went from that job straight to the restaurant at 4 PM, will get off there and go straight back to work with the contractor & be painting at a local Walmart from 10 PM-7 AM, then report to another job & work another full day tomorrow before getting off finally tomorrow night. He just turned 21 and is not afraid to work hard. I did something right to have such a great young man as my son!!!!!!!!!!
• I will probably regret this in some way, but it is what it is. I'm wiped out. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. This year is kicking my backside! I have a lot of things that "need" to be done. Paperwork that is due or past due at work. Papers that I need to grade (just a small pile though), grad school work that I have to do, and oh so much more. You know what, though. I'm not doing it tonight! I'm going to go to read my Bible, crawl in bed and pray for some rest and relief and a day of being His light tomorrow. One more day, Father, one more day. I'll get there one foot in front of the other, one day at a time.

Sunday, Sunday

Spring is making its appearance it seems, and I hope it is here to stay. The weather is getting warmer, the daylight longer, the buds on trees in our neighborhood are starting to appear, and we are hearing more and more birds singing in the morning and evening. So nice!!!

Only three and one half months to survive. I can do all things through Christ. repeat. times. one hundred. :)

My mind has started its yearly "things I want to do differently next year" list, except it keeps saying, "Where will I be next year?" which makes it more difficult. But, learning is good, and I'm trying to not beat myself up too much for not having a perfect first year in this new grade. I just see so many mistakes and things I did that could have been better, or things I did not know and wish I had....

My :) List:

• Calling my Momma yesterday and having a nice LONG talk! :) :) :)
• I love laughing and making people laugh. I made Momma and myself laugh hysterically and that felt soooo good! BBB, Momma! ;)
• I went to bed early last night (well, early for me- 10 PM, and though I couldn't get to sleep right away, it was nice to be there relaxing and listening to my hubby snoring :) and just finally drifting off to sleep).
• Mandy (my pal from work) called us Friday night and invited Rob & I to join her and her parents at a nearby restaurant. That was so nice of them to include us and we enjoyed some being with some pretty nice people!
• Spring- my hyacinth is peeking out of the ground; can't wait to see the daffodils soon. :)
• Daylight- it is so much easier to get out of bed with a little light then in the dark (and it is already such a struggle to get out of bed to go to "that place" so that really does help!)
• Warm chocolate chip/nut cookies made for Robert (a belated birthday treat)- I only ate one too- yeah me!!!
• One more month in the year of hell about to be over! THANK YOU GOD for helping me get through it all!
• Zoe is the prettiest niece an aunt could ever see- I find myself telling her photo hello and good night every day, and sometimes when I can't focus on work or college work, I just stare at her picture on my laptop. :) I can't wait to meet her!!!
• Walking with Rob & Matthew and Samson this afternoon, and the last little bit we walked in a warm, gentle rain- so neat!
• Rob & I went shoe shopping together and found walking shoes on sale! :)
• most of all, God loves me- even me!

Working Hard :)

Rob and I are working hard to take care of us. We have been walking consistently for almost two months now. :) And we've been extending our distance/time and pushing even more lately. Rob jokingly now calls me the "taskmaster." So I got this idea that we could walk to our favorite restaurant down the road from us (I knew it was around a mile there). So we did. We walked there, ate supper, and walked home. It was fun, we were tired, but we did it!

Today is our oldest child's birthday- his 21st birthday! I can't believe we have been parents for 21 years!!!!! And now our birthday factory ends for a few months.

My :) List:

• We are still walking, and tonight we did just a tiny bit more than 2 miles! :)
• I had a major meltdown this morning working on my next big grad school assignment, but I pushed through it, Rob checked it for me when I was done, and it is turned in- early too!
• I have about 1/2 my papers graded- it was a HUGE stack, and now it's down to just big. :)

Friday Eve

One of our "interventionists" at school today told me "Happy Friday Eve" as I walked with my class to lunch. I like that! :)

This school year continues to roll out loads of stress and ugliness at the teachers I work with (and me), but I'm trying to hang on. I have made it a lot longer than I had thought I could, and I'm down to four months. And at the almost end :) of those four months, I'll get to see my parents, my sister & brother and new, sweet niece, Zoe! They'll be here for Matthew's graduation, if God allows. Boy, that will be an emotional time- my youngest child's high school graduation & the last for Rob & I as parents, meeting my niece for the first time, seeing my far-away, deeply loved family, and hopefully for Matthew, letting my baby go off to join Uncle Sam. I better stock up on tissues as I cry for every emotion under the sun, so I am sure to need them. :)

In the mean time, I have a TON of grad school work to do- this course is the equivalent of at least two grad courses and it is kicking all of us in the backside! At work, some of us are going to have to visit other schools in the hopes that we will quit being bad teachers and start doing our jobs. I have a resume to update and start sending out and some prayers I am praying and need to keep praying for guidance about the next step for myself and my family.

My :) List for this Friday eve:

• Rob & I walked even further tonight!!!! 40 minutes and we did almost 2 miles tonight! :) :)
• I got a spine yesterday and spoke up two times!!! I may have caused some harm to my future, but I was NOT ugly, did not yell, and said how I really feel and spoke up for the kids. It felt good to say it, though it angered me to have to do so.
• I ate salad without salad dressing tonight!!!! I'm not a huge soak your salad in dressing person, but this was a big step for me. I used some of the vinegar from the kalamata olives and a little salt & pepper and it was good!

I'll be working all weekend on grad school and trying to prepare paperwork and lesson plans and sub plans for work. I have three HUGE projects and papers due in the next week in my grad course plus the weekly readings, math assignments and online postings. In a few weeks, the capstone exam and portfolio are due, and I haven't even started those yet. YIKES!!! Plus somewhere in all this busy-ness, we have one last birthday and still have two birthday dinners to celebrate. It's going to be a busy weekend! Hope wherever you are, yours is sunny & filled with laughter and love!

18, 20, 20

Those are the ages of the kids in our house. "Kids" is a relative word I guess. They are my kids and always will be just as I am still my own Momma's kid at 40 years old. :) I am smiling as I type because I remember when Barbara loved her birthday for obvious reasons, of course, but also because she loved being the same age as Robert for five days. Oh, how she used to torture him! Sweet memories! (Jessica, makes me think of you and that whole, "I was there when you were born" thing.) :)

Barbara had to work tonight :(, so Rob, Robert, and I went to McDonald's in hopes of seeing her for a second. She was working the back drive-thru window, so we bought Robert a shake, got back in the car and went through the drive thru just to shout "Happy Birthday" at her, drive through and tell her we love her and go home. :)

I'm continuing to walk. Tonight I noticed that we are slowly inching the distance up and the time. So this is pathetic to those of you who are fit & healthy, but I still want to share it. Hopefully you won't think less of me for being a fatso. :) In the six weeks since I started walking, I've doubled the amount of time and distance I was walking, and I've increased the number of days I walk too.

My :) List for today:

• I made time for Rob & me this weekend. Paid a big price for it perhaps, but I am getting MUCH better about putting family and even myself first.
• I continue to walk, drink more water, eat less.
• I like making fun memories with our kids and Rob. I LOVED going to see the kids at McDonald's tonight, especially hollering Happy Birthday to Barbara through the order screen. :) hehehehehehe

Oh lovely :)

Last night I actually SLEPT all night (about 7 hours) and woke up with very little back pain!!!! It was more wonderful than I can say!!!!!!!! I can't honestly remember when I've done that it's been so very long. THANK YOU GOD!!!!!!!!!!!

We went to the first church service, and after church, drove the two walking routes I'm trying to use to measure their approximate distance (much further than I had thought!), went to get a soda, and came home to fix lunch. Lunch was yummy- broccoli cheese soup, wraps, and I had fresh blackberries- my favorite! I did a couple things I needed to do for grad school, and I have taken a lovely nap- another thing I don't get to do often thanks to insomnia and a busy life. I have a lot to do, but I have just sat here vegging out a bit and enjoying this fire Rob started- so peaceful to watch. :)

I'm going to work on report cards next and try to get them as close to done as I can today.

This weekend's list-

• I went for a walk with Rob yesterday between my grocery run and the funeral, and Rob, Barbara, Matthew and I walked again today (and now know exactly how far I am walking)- it is getting a little easier this week so yeah! :)
• I did NOTHING Friday night- no lesson plans, no grading papers, no college, nothing!, and I took a nap today- hey, I could get used to this. :) I know this sounds silly or maybe lazy or self-centered to people who don't know me, but if you know me, you'll know this is rare for me.
• I was in a funky mood (stress, truly sick of work, one of my "I hate me" moods, plus the funeral) but I went out anyway with my daughter and a coworker to get some dinner and buy a baby shower gift for another coworker. That was fun. I loved my Greek salad. Thanks Barbara for buying the dinner! :) Thanks to B & my coworker for putting up with me when I was moody & tired and still loving me in spite of it. Not too many coworkers do that for you. :) Not all moms get daughters that will love you as much as mine does! I know that and am thankful!
• I went to church today. God is good and still loves me and spoke to me.
• Matthew and cooked tonight after our walk- the yummy veggie pasta salad. With Greek dressing and a little feta cheese on top. Oh. my. word. Soooo good!

I better quit being a bum now, and get to work. Think I'll take another walk first. :) This could become habit-forming, and I pray it does. :) That's my goal anyway. :)