A Prayer

God,
I know that the tiny, little, silly, petty concerns of my day are not important at all in the scheme of things- dying souls, starving people, wars, famines, droughts, cancer.... are all so much more important. But, if You could help to either change me or change the situation I am in or both, I'd really appreciate it! You know what it is I'm referring to and how I am feeling about myself, my work situation, myself.... Could you bring unity and a sense of "team" to my building? Could you help me to not be so sensitive and care if not every single person likes me? Could you help me to really understand and believe that I don't have to be liked by everyone and who really cares if one or two people don't care for me?

Please help me to not see or hear petty looks, comments, and attitudes. Help me to quit worrying about "why" someone seems to dislike me and just go on and do my job. Which is what I've been doing, but I wish it would quit bothering me. There is just something so unsettled in my spirit around a couple people. When I'm in my room, I'm perfectly at peace (despite the kids -smiles), but when I go to lunch or meetings or at grade level meeting time (which is torture!), I can just sense it- like I'm not wanted at one end of the lunch table or I'm "out" of the group. It's just an ugly feeling, and I don't think it's just me being sensitive. Kristen sees it, and today someone else even commented on it who is not on our grade level. I mean it feels like something else- ugly and mean and wicked. I don't know if it's just because I don't drink and fool around and go to the strip club or other things like that and have tried to not hide that I love You- though I'm a terrible witness even considering that. I don't know, I really don't.

I just know that I have to do this grade level chairperson & leadership thing and I don't feel like I can. And it might be wrong, but God if you could make a way for a couple friends and I to be together next year it would be so nice! I would love to stay in K with them, but if I have to move, please show me that it is Your will and that I can do it. Show me what I should do both now and in the future. I'm trying to listen to You God, and I know I'm doing miserably, but I'm trying to live for You too.

Your Rebekah