Disagree I Must

I have heard so many times in my life- from my young adult years to this past week- this little saying- "You can't love others if you don't love yourself." It's always been said to me in an attempt to make me like myself better or to convince me that I should "love" me or that I can't really love others with such low self-esteem....

I have thought about this so many times, and I have always disagreed with this, but I must say that the older I get, the more I disagree with this and the more strongly I disagree with it!

I think there is too much self-love & self absorption in our country, too much focus on loving ourselves, our interests, our wants & desires. I think people spend too much time thinking about themselves and not enough time on others. More time solving their own problems and not enough on helping others find solutions for theirs. I think people like to flatter themselves too much instead of looking for ways to help make others be lifted up and supported. Why does it matter if a person loves himself? Isn't/shouldn't it be more important that people put others before themselves? Wouldn't our world be a better place if everyone would think less of themselves and more of others?

I don't think a whole lot about myself, on a good day I tolerate me okay, but I absolutely-100%-with all that is in me- ADORE a whole ton of kids walking around my school, and a few other schools where I have spent time, not to mention my own three wonderful kids! I dare anyone to tell me that I don't really love them since I don't love myself!

When I said this to someone this week in this discussion about self-esteem & loving myself, the counter-reply was that I must, then, really love myself and just don't want to admit it. I almost have to laugh. Why does it really matter if I love me or not? I am not the important thing here. I am not of much value or worth- it is Christ!!!! He is the one who is important, He is the one whose love it is that comes through me.

When I look up loving yourself & others in the Bible, the only thing I find is "love your neighbor as yourself" not love yourself before you love your neighbor. And the verse that says "by this all men will know that you are My disciples- that you love one another"- it didn't say "that you love yourself." In fact, now that I'm looking this up a bit more, it says "I'm giving you a new rule- love one another, as I have loved you, that's how you should love other people..." (my paraphrase). Now I'm no spiritual genius or knowledgeable Bible scholar, but it seems to me that Jesus' example was to actually not love Himself. He was God and yet He gave up heaven, being worshipped and adored and served to be born to a poor family, to live a quiet, humble & simple life, to be "acquainted with sorrows" and to ultimately sacrifice & lay down His life for others.

So, I will disagree with this once again and always. Sorry to all those who have tried to convince me, but save yourself the trouble. I just disagree. I prefer to follow His example and love others instead of myself. To love me would be a low standard, but to love others- what higher calling could I seek to pursue?