The Kids Reminisce

This morning, while we were eating, Robert started taking us down memory lane. He said something positive about how dad helped him learn long division when he was struggling to understand the concept. It was so funny, because my memory of that was not a "positive, dad helping and Robert learning" kind of memory. The memory I have of those lessons is of a much more painful, frustrating, aggravating, blood-pressure raising experience by both parents and son.

The other day when I picked Barbara up from school, she asked me "Mom, was I a bad little kid?" When I asked her why she would ask/think that, she said one of her teachers was talking about how few times she had to spank her own children, and Barbara realized that she got lots more than that. We were talking about that today too. We all laughed about their growing up and the good & not-so-good memories, but even in the not-so-pleasant ones, they talked very positively about it. They seemed to realize that they weren't perfect, but really good kids and that we were trying to help them.

As we all talked, it made me realize that my kids seem to view their childhood & their parents in a positive light, well at least most of it, it seems. That made me feel so much better to know that they remember their growing up years as good & their parents as not horrible, child-beating, screaming, ranting & raving lunatics. :)

I positively, absolutely, with-everything-in-me ADORE my children!!!!!!!!

Fat People Have Feelings

It's not my week for shopping! Earlier this week, the greeter at Walmart stopped Barbara & me at the door and did everything but out & out accuse us of stealing. She was just about to call for "backup" when our cashier even came down and vouched for us, at which point she got all ugly on the cashier too. She very begrudgingly let us go, but made it clear she thought I was stealing something- where she thought it was hidden, I don't know! It was a very unpleasant experience. Rob met us at Walmart after I called him, and he went in, walked right up to the greeter and told her she should "be nice" and showed her my receipt and then complained to management about it.

But today, I left Save-a-Lot, where I always grocery shop, in tears. I am either not going shopping anymore and let Rob do it all or I am going to print a sign that I wear on my backside when I shop. I mean it- I've had it!!!!!

Today, as I stood there with my daughter unloading our groceries onto the belt, the customer behind us and her daughter were talking about something. The daughter started to go behind us out of the aisle, so I tried to scoot up as far as I could so she could get by. Now I should also say that this was a teen aged girl who was not exactly thin herself, she was certainly chubbier than my own daughter would even think of being- a "big girl" herself. She took one look at me (not a nice look either) and turned back around and said something to her mom and they both started laughing loudly! Then she went to her dad who was a couple aisles over talking to someone and said something at which he said, "Yeah, have you ever seen one THAT big???" The people standing there all started laughing hysterically and looking my way. That was bad enough, but then he comes down to his wife, both look at me, and he says really loudly "No girl, yours isn't that big, neither one of you, not anywhere near that big. Didn't know they could be that big." He's looking right at me now. Again, this got big laughs from his wife, daughter, and all the other shoppers standing around. I was so embarrassed. I thought of some things I could have said, like "I'm fat, not deaf." or "Lard a---- people have feelings you know." or "Just because my a--- is big, doesn't mean I can't hear you or that I'm so stupid I don't know what you're talking about." It was humiliating!!!!!

I seriously want to rent a billboard, put pictures of HUGE people like me on it, and the words "Fat people have feelings too." Oh, it just hurts. I know I did this to myself, and I deserve it, but still. I would never do that to anyone.

First Days & Backaches

Made it through another "first day" of school. It was a rather stressful and eventful morning in my classroom with some screaming, hitting, kicking, and punching, but it will get better I know. I left today hunched over and trying to stand up straight and HURTING!!!!!!!!!!! I broke down and called the dr. to ask for something to help me make it until I see someone else... yeah, that didn't go so well. I have to just be tough and "be patient" until I can get an appointment with the neurosurgeon. I'm so sick of dr.'s visits, tests, and waiting, but I'm trying my best to be patient. Mostly I just want to feel good and be done with all these aforementioned items and the bills that come with them.

Signing off for tonight, this is one pooped K teacher,
Rebekah :)

God is so awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!

On the eve of another BIG medical appointment, with yet another new doctor, I'm not too terribly nervous, but I am dreading tomorrow. That combined with more work than I can get done in time for the first day of school and missing a big chunk of tomorrow's work day is not helping me any.

But of all places, God showed me a scripture on Facebook tonight as I did a quick check to see if I could raise my sister on there- I can't hardly believe it! This was just what I needed. I may not have caught my sister online, but I did find God. :)

Psalm 94:18 & 19 "When I thought, 'My foot slips,' Your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up. When the cares of my heart are many, Your consolations cheer my soul."

Meet Cinnamon

This is our new kitten, Cinnamon. Rob couldn't wait to get a cat (he's as bad as Barbara!), so he jumped at the chance when he found this unwanted member of a litter. He's a cutie- the kitten, not Rob. :)

Robert's 1st Tools

Robert has to have tools now for his electricity courses. So today, Rob took him to the store and was there to offer any help or advice while Robert got started making these purchases and getting ready for his not-so-far-off-in-the-future profession.

Oh, You Never Let Go

Friday night
seriously crazy busy week
a tiny bit of negative at work but thank God a lot of positives too :) - I'm focusing on the :)'s instead
nothing but running, driving, running, working, working, working
TERRIBLE pain
some not so good news
a hurting coworker/friend who I'm sorrowing for
homesick- wish I could hold my Momma's hand right now and lay my head on her shoulder
tired beyond words
missing two teacher/friends that I have come to love- both moving on to better things God has in store for them

I'll let these very true words from David Crowder Band's song- "Never Let Go" speak to my heart, and hopefully yours, tonight:

When clouds veil sun and disaster comes,
Oh my soul, oh my soul.
When waters rise, and hope takes flight
Oh, my soul Oh, my soul...
Ever faithful, ever true
You I know, You never let go...
When clouds brought rain and disaster came
Oh, my soul Oh, my soul
When waters rose, and hope had flown
Oh, my soul Oh, my soul...
Oh my soul overflows
Oh what love...
Oh, my soul fills with hope
Perfect love that never lets go
Oh, what love...
In joy and pain In sun and rain
You're the same Oh, You never let go

Thank You Father that You truly never let go- even when it seems that way or when I feel utterly alone and worn down, burdened and sorrowed for others. Thank You for Your love, Your hope, and Your hand.

Good night & Happy Weekend,
Rebekah :)

To my husband on our 20th anniversary

To my husband, Rob,

Today, August 20th, is our 20th anniversary. We don't have much and can't give each other a "real" gift, but here is my gift to you.

In these 20 years, we've grown up together, learned together, made a LOT of mistakes together, come to know each other, hurt each other, made three wonderful children together, grown closer than I could have EVER have imagined, cried together, laughed even more together, seen bad times & good times together, and truly learned what it means to be together and love one another through sickness and health, for richer or poorer.

Happy Anniversary Rob. Thank you for loving me, for being my best friend since all those years ago on our first date, putting up with me, staying with me, and understanding me better than I often understand myself. :)

20 Things I love about my husband (not in any particular order):

1. He loves God and is letting Him work on the "rough" spots in his heart
2. He makes me laugh, sometimes so hard I pee my pants :)
3. He is intelligent & can explain things to me when I "don't get it" (well, he can unless it's car stuff) :)
4. He is a "deep-end" thinker
5. He is an AWESOME dad!!!
6. He supports me in my life and my work & he understands the stresses of my work & "gets it"- the good & bad, the burdens I have for kids, the problems I face & see each day
7. He takes me on rides to the country sometimes when we can and we listen to worship music and talk and just enjoy each others' company
8. He understands the gobs of at-home schoolwork I drag home every night & weekend, and we do our schoolwork together
9. He has a terrific sense of humor
10. He loves our kids, totally & completely
11. He has become a good bass player & I love to listen to him play & to see him worship God at church in the worship band!
12. He still thinks I'm pretty - even though I know I'm really not
13. He makes me so totally, completely content & happy when I see him wrestle with Matthew, tickle & pester Barbara and make her giggle and squeal, cut up & joke with the boys and do one liners until we are all laughing hard!
14. He takes care of me- like right now he's back here fussing at me for staying up late when I should be going to bed. :) :) :) (Now you know what I've been staying up late doing for a night or two now. :))
15. He helps me in my classroom with all the good, silly, dumb, corny, and whatever else kind of projects I dream up- he's hung up more stuff for me, helped me move furniture, bought & assembled furniture and put up with me spending TONS of money on my kinderkids- and he's rarely ever complained, fussed, or grouched about it. :)
16. He went with me to all these dumb dr.'s appointments this year- when he never would have done that before- but he's been there for me through all these appointments, tests, and all, holding my hand and helping support me
17. He listens to me talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk (Momma thanks you for that I'm sure!)
18. He promised Momma that I would finish college when we got engaged & married, and he kept that promise.
19. He gave me three of the most wonderful children a mom could ever hope to have, and he helped me raise them into the terrific young adults they are now becoming!
20. He stood by me through thick & thin, when people advised us both to give up on each other & ourselves & our dreams, when we messed up big time and had problems that were just about insurmountable, when we were stupid, young kids who thought they knew better than others & we really didn't, when we were advised to get a divorce or have an abortion, or quit school, he stayed put and toughed it out with me.

Happy Anniversary Rob. I will always love you. I pray God allows us many more years to grow old together and closer than we are even now.

With all my love,

Rebekah :)

Long Way From Kindergarten

I remember watching my first born child say goodbye to me and walk down the hallway to his first day of kindergarten just like he was a big kid. He didn't want me to walk him to class, so I watched from the doorway of another classroom. So young and wanting to be so independent.

Today, I watched from the driver's seat of my car as that same big boy boarded a city bus (another first & something I've never even done) to leave and go to his first day of college. I prayed with him on our way to the bus stop, and I sat there to make sure he got on the right bus and that everything was okay before I left. Okay, I know that might be silly, but we live in a city of over 200,000 and the sun was not even up yet, so I didn't want to leave him sitting alone in the dark at a bus stop. At least that's my excuse.

Now I sit here wondering how his first day is going, how he is doing, is he understanding everything alright, is he feeling overwhelmed or nervous, does he like his prof and the class, is he excited, and about a million other things.

Today, I'm so proud of the young man he's grown up to be, so proud of him for knowing what he wants to be & do and going on to tech school to make that happen. But inside, where no one can see, there's a little piece of me that wishes it hadn't happened so fast. It sure is a long way from that first day of kindergarten.

Turning it Around

Okay, for the record, this lesson direct from heaven did not come because I was actually complaining, griping, or otherwise belly-aching, it just came because God must have known I was going to need it later this weekend.

Now, on to the lesson I want to record and have here to reread, relearn, and remember. :)

While grocery shopping I was joking around with the cashiers at the store where I shop. They know me not by name but because we come every week or two, spend a LOT, and I always have a slave, um I mean a kid with me :) - they take turns going with me on grocery days. The managers even know who I am and ask about the different kids when they aren't with me. This time I was alone (which NEVER happens) and the manager commented about that. It's kind of funny, actually. I digress.

There was a gentlemen behind me in line unloading his few groceries as I was paying. I started to jokingly offer to trade him bills as my receipt printed out about 4 feet long (a whole rain forest gave its life for my receipt). I've done this before and always gotten a laugh from somebody, but something stopped me. Now for anyone reading, please know that I have griped about many, many things in life, but NEVER my grocery bill. I really don't like paying a million dollars a month for food, but it doesn't really bother me and I have never complained about it. I love my kids and husband and don't mind spending a lot for food for them & of course for myself.

Anywhooo, something stopped me and made me think that maybe this gentleman would actually like having more people to buy for, that maybe he is alone and doesn't have anyone else to spend his time and money on. I didn't say anything but just stood there thinking about how blessed I am. As I told the cashier my usual, "goodbye, have a great weekend" bit, I said a silent prayer to God and told Him thank you for having to spend a lot of money on groceries, for it means that I am blessed with a family. As I left the grocery store, I really began to think on this mini-lesson God dropped into my lap. This idea can be spread out in my life to a lot of other things, and I started thinking of things that I might have viewed negatively in the past. I started a list in my mind, then got home and started putting things away and went on.

Move ahead a few hours. Rob & I went to help a couple of teachers and their family load up two houses & a storage bin into a U-Haul for their move to West Virginia. I was teary as we were getting close to leaving, and thinking about how I HATE saying goodbye, and I HATE how I finally get a friend and they leave and how I have to say goodbye, yet again, to someone I care about. I was feeling kind of lonely and bummed, but then my Saturday morning lesson just "popped" into my mind. Yeah, God, I'm listening. I get it.

So, I am turning things around and thinking of my life in different terms now.

Thank you God for:

• a big grocery bill every month, for it means that I have a family to love & who loves me
• a big grocery bill, for it means that I have a job & income to pay for this food- there was a time in my life when I didn't have the means to buy food for my family and where Rob & I went without & I NEVER want to be there again
• the "goodbyes" for it means that I was able to say "hello" to friendship, even if for a short time
• tears of sorrow, for it means I have experienced joy & happiness & I know I will again
• aches & pains for it means I am alive and able-bodied and I have those "parts" to be achy
• being angry with my children, for it means I have kids to love and teach and raise and who have & will give me great joy- even if it is not right now :)
• the blah feeling & the sorrow I have right now about going back to school, for it means that I had some time (even if it wasn't enough) to spend with my family and stay home
• the early mornings and the crazy-busy schedule, for it means I have a job and a family to take care of

There's more to this list rambling around in my head, but this is really deep & I wanted to get it down somewhere for when I do forget. This way I can come back here & re-teach myself something God showed me.

Thankfully His,

Rebekah :)

And so another summer ends

Today the end of summer begins in the Thomas house. Rob goes back to school today (volunteering 1/2 days this week for Freshmen Camp). He will "officially" start on Monday. I don't officially start until next Wednesday, but between an all day meeting and helping other teachers, I will be there at work every day from here on out. So ends the summer vacation of 2008. And before you say it, yeah, I know, we teachers are so lucky, we get all that time off. I know. I am blessed to have extended time off with my family that most working moms & dads don't get. I know that. I know that most people don't get the longer break at the holidays and all those days off in the year, and a long summer vacation. I should write a blog about that, but I won't. Just know that I am not ungrateful and that I do recognize that blessing, and I am not complaining.

As always I am a bit sad as I will miss my family greatly!!!! I didn't get as much time home with them as I would have liked with working summer school, and I'm just getting to relax now that it is over and it's time to go back. I always miss my family intensely for the first week or two, then it becomes the "norm" again and I deal with it better (though I still miss them a lot).

I'm not quite as excited (YET) as I normally am or quite as ready to go back, but that's just because I worked summer school. I am trying to get my brain into school mode and to start planning/thinking about all that. It's so funny because in June when school lets out, it takes sometimes a whole month to quit thinking of school- not that it ever really does, and just when my brain is ready to relax and read and think on things besides kindergarten, and rest, then it's time to start back up, especially when I work summer school. Now it is sluggishly trying to remember all those great ideas I had back in June & July.... :)

So, shortly I'm going to ask my teen aged children to wake up and see if any of them are willing to go help me at work for a little while. Poor kids, they get drug along for the ride. :) Hi, ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go... :)

And for my family, who will be wondering:

• Robert starts college classes next Monday night 8/18
• Matthew starts his sophomore year Monday 8/25
• Barbara starts her senior year Tuesday 8/26

But you can be sure they'll be "drug" to school before then helping me & my new grade level pals mostly, but maybe Rob too.

So for all the "rest" of the world out there who works hard all year long, have a happy work week.

Signing off and saying goodbye to Summer 2008,
One of those teachers,
Rebekah :)

Sunday Praise

Psalm 92 says: "It is good to give thanks to the Lord to sing praises to Your name O Most High, to declare Your steadfast love in the morning and Your faithfulness by night..."

So with that in my mind tonight, I want to think of my praises and thanks to God. I could stay up and write all night, but these are the "big" ones on my list for today:

• God's salvation and mercy shown to me over and over and over- even though I truly don't deserve it (I know Momma, no one does. I'm just thankful for the mercy He has shown me.) :)
• God's plan for mankind- How awesome it is that He knew from the beginning of time how "it would all go down" and yet He had a plan from the beginning for us all and how to redeem us and bring us to be with Him
• God showing me His love when I was just a child
• Keeping me in Him through some hard times and trying situations
• His healing hand in my life and the lives of people I know & love and the lives of people I don't know but have read about and prayed for
• Showing me/my family His will for our lives and giving us the strength to follow His plan even when it has sometimes been hard or we didn't understand
• His help in time of need
• His word that is a source of instruction, inspiration, and peace
• His love, never ending

Ouch, ouch, ouch!!!!

I just got back from my third MRI scan. Oy! I hope I'm done with these things now! :)

I am hurting in a big, bad way. Rob has taken over my weekly Saturday job of grocery shopping and told me to come inside, take the muscle relaxer the dr. prescribed, and sit down. So I am being an obedient wife and doing just that. Now, I just hope I am "sober" enough to drive the kids to their workplaces this evening since Rob will be gone. :) :) :) Tonight is his night to play at the HOP- a home for guys recovering from drug & alcohol addictions.

Well, hopefully I have finally woken up and taken care of all my "issues" and hopefully, God-willing, I will start feeling okey-dokey soon. :)

Scrapping My Night Away

Literally, I did just that. I started working on some photos for someone and lost complete track of time. I forgot the time and didn't call my momma like I promised I would. :****( Then I decided since I was already scrapping and already had drug a bunch of stuff into the back room, I might as well do my photos too. The next thing I know it is 11 PM!!!! But I finished both sets of photos! YEAH me!

Now I would like to start doing Robert's graduation photos, and next month I hope to get my road trip pictures printed and scrapped. I think I might try to just set a monthly goal of one project to do. Maybe someday I can start doing all my kids' baby & kid photos that I've saved but never had the time or $ to do. Sure, by the time I die, I'll have them all done. :) :) :)
I should get a card table to keep in the front room for things I'm working on..... Then I wouldn't have to drag everything I might possibly want to use back here and then drag it all back. Kind of anti-productive or non-conducive or whatever else new words I can dream up here. Hmmm, maybe someday when there's some "extra" $. Yeah, that's funny. I know everyone reading will be laughing as I doubt there's anyone out there with extra $, but a girl can dream. :)

Yeah, can you tell it is getting late, I am tired and dizzy and just took my muscle relaxant for my back??? :) :) :)

On the back, I have an MRI on Saturday to figure out what is wrong with that part of me. This will make my 3rd MRI scan this summer. Love those, let me tell you! And, I'm scheduled for my first mammogram soon too. This has not been my summer- medically speaking. It was supposed to (in my mind anyway) be the time I was going to get everything figured out with the dr. and start either a "cure" or find some solution to help me feel better. Well, that hasn't exactly worked out, but I am sporting a better frame of mind at the moment. That may be due to just not having the "icks" right now, but we'll see. One thing I am really, truly, deeply thankful to God for is this: I have a very compassionate and gentle dr. at Wake Forest who is trying to help me, and this week God, literally/truly, sent me to a new family dr. She is a Christian, and I really liked her a lot! She was very kind and took time to sit and talk with me and made me feel better just talking and listening. That will help having a good dr. I can go to when I'm sick or whatever. I've not been taking care of that part of my life because of the dud experiences I've had with dr.'s, so that is going to change now!

Okay, well, truly I can see I am rambling on and on and in different directions. So I think I'll sign off. For those who might have read through this all the way to the end, well you should get some sort of medal or something. :)

Love,
The sleep-deprived and goofball Rebekah :)

Pretty Porch

From our trip- this was a porch by a store in Cherokee. I just liked the photo.

I look to the hills, from where my help comes...

God, You are so AWESOME, and Your creation is more beautiful than human words can express.

Home Again

We're home from our trip. Thank You God for safety and lots of great mommy/daughter time!!!

We saw these very pretty Brown Eyed Susans while on our way home today. These are my most favorite flower. I used to pick them wild for my own momma when we lived in Missouri. So it was a perfect way to end my trip today!

Road Trip Day 2

Day 2- We drove south towards the Smokies. We were going to see if we could catch the Smoky Mountain Train for a ride. Alas, we got to Bryson City, just in time to wave goodbye to it as it pulled away. :( Oh well, it was a fun drive there and beautiful mountains along the way, and we had lots of laughs and fun anyway. We drove around the town of Bryson City before heading back towards Cherokee and the Smokies National Park.

Found this along the path at an overlook area in the National Park. So pretty!

Such a beautiful creek right by the road we were driving on. I could have just sat there and watched it all day it was so peaceful. Just what I needed!

Welcome to the Cherokee Indian Reservation- this has been a lifelong dream of mine to come here. I could hardly believe I was there!!!! I don't know if it could ever be done, but I would love to be able to trace my genealogy far enough back to find my ancestors here. Doubtful, but still it was so neat to see this place.

These were members of the Dear Clan dancing today for visitors.

Here is Barbara's new bear, Mr. Smokey Bear. Yeah, like she needed yet another animal to take on our little trip. :) Here he was "helping" me drive through Cherokee.

Ever heard of Sequoyah? He was a Cherokee who created the written language for his people. I've read about him a couple times, a long time ago.

Throughout Cherokee, you will find bears decorated by local Cherokee artists. This bear was designed to represent Sequoyah; it is like a famous painting of him I have seen. Kind of neat!

Another bear

Just some flowers I saw outside a market in Cherokee that I liked.

Town Hall (I think???) in Bryson City, a neat little mountain town

Beautiful views as we climbed up the backroads in the mountains outside Maggie Valley, NC

More beautiful views- this time from Great Smokies National Park- so beautiful

This afternoon we took advantage of the tax-free weekend, and we went shopping and bought some school clothes for Barbara & Matthew. We came back to the hotel with Pizza Hut (we miss that!!!) and went swimming. I think Barbara is asleep now. She has crashed with her head on my knee while I've been uploading photos. :)

Thank You God for allowing us to take this trip, and for keeping us safe as we journeyed away from home without Rob and the boys. Though I've missed them a lot, I know this was the right thing for her and I to do. I needed to see Your beauty and creation and You. I needed to spend some time away from the city. I needed to have fun with my daughter, and meet her need for "Mommy time" which she has been asking for several times over the past week or two. This was what she needed, maybe more than I realized. And as we drove around, I realized that this time next year, she could be leaving me for college, so this was time to cherish with her. Thank You God for showing me that as well. Thank You for creating such a beautiful world and all that You made, for Your amazing and awesome power that can make all that we saw today. Thank You for everything.

Good night God.

Signing off from Asheville, Cherokee, the Smoky Mountains
Rebekah & Barbara :)

Babs and Me on the Road

So, long story not told here, Barbara and I have left for our first mom & daughter road trip. We don't have a specific plan except to head southwest to the mountains to Asheville. Who knows what we'll end up doing, but we're sure to have some fun! I feel really guilty leaving Rob and the boys, but I know it's okay for them to have "dad" time and Barbara has been telling me she needs some "mom" time.

Here we are getting ready to go. Matthew kept wanting to make funny faces in the picture and made me laugh!
Rob has "racing-on-the-brain" syndrome. Here Matthew gives us the pit crew push for our send off, and Rob is directing us out of the driveway. :)

Barbara's Road Trip Menagerie- Rob & I came out of the house and found this in our back seat waiting for us to leave. Too cute!!! And, yes, these all came in the hotel with Barbara and me and are now sitting here on the bed with me. :)

I told Barbara, our first road trip rule was we had to take lots of photos- and lots of them goofy photos too. I took this one. Loved it!

Just what every road trip needs- snacks and a movie player. Barbara drug our portable dvd player with her to watch movies.

I am turning into a true southerner! I found myself backing into the hotel parking space before I realized it. Oh my!!! And, of course, I am a terrible driver in reverse- can you tell???? Barbara took this photo of my terrible parking job!

So that's it for our first night on the road! Signing off from Asheville, NC,

Barbara & Rebekah :)

Another First Tomorrow

Robert will attend orientation and college registration tomorrow at GTCC. Where has time gone? He is excited to get registered and find out what his schedule will look like. It will help some of the unknown we've been facing too with trying to figure out how he will get to school and home and what his needs will be. He still has things to figure out and work out, but at least now he/we will know what we are looking at schedule-wise.

Now, we're waiting on the Lord for a job for him to help meet his needs financially. God has taken care of everything else for him. Please God, bless Robert with a permanent and good job.