Uncle Rob

Rob LOVES Zoe!  And it seemed that Zoe kind of liked him too.  I share evidence of these two facts here.

 Eating and talking and just hanging out on our last day in their corner of the world.

 playing with the blocks together

 I know she's a bit blurry- she doesn't sit still so it was not easy to get a photo of her without her being " in action." :) 

 Loved this one!!!!  Uncle Rob was reading and making all the animal sounds for her as they read together.

These are my absolute favorites!!!!  These tell another story.  Rob and Zoe would play "chase" and then he would hide around the corner and call out to Zoe.  She turned around to come chase/find him.

 Not sure what she was doing for sure, but she would holler and point at Rob.  So stinkin' cute!!!  She knew where her Uncle Rob was hiding though!

 Or, she thought she did.  "Where did he go???"

 "Boo!"  "Oh, there you are!"  hahaha  Zoe has the best laugh!!!!

Zoe and her Uncle Rob from Rebekah Thomas on Vimeo.


Untitled from Rebekah Thomas on Vimeo.

And the last one, Zoe gave Rob some kisses and hugs.

Zoe part 2

Yeah, I know. :) You'll have to pardon me. I'm partial to that niece of ours!!!

These first few tell a "story"- Zoe loves phones and wanted Barbara's.

 So, Barbara, being a good cousin tried to show Zoe her phone.  Zoe just wanted the phone, though.

 Barbara, not to be bossed around either, kept trying to show it to Zoe and talk to her about the phone.

 But, as you can see, in the end, Zoe won the phone battle. :)

 Bathtime with Aunt Beka

 She puts that tongue out a lot- cracks us up!

 I loved this face- it was like she was saying, "Aunt Beka, what are you trying to do- drown me?"

 And with that, she was done and ready to get out. She was trying to climb out of Grandma's sink.

 Yay!

Zoe's Sleepover with Aunt Beka, Uncle Rob, Grandma & Papa

My sister and Scott wanted to "trade" kids so we had a kid swap one night.  The "old folks" got to keep Zoe, and the young adults went with Jessica and Scott for a late night of movie watching, eating video games, and talking.  

So, what did Zoe do with us?  It's our secret.  You know- what happens at Grandma's stays at Grandma's? :) hahaha

Well, first we had some dinner.  Uncle Rob enjoyed this!  And one thing we learned while we were home, do NOT get in between Zoe and food.  She promptly let us know if we did not feed her quickly enough.  My kind of kid!

 playtime with Uncle Rob (another post coming with tons of pictures of Zoe and her Uncle Rob)

 Zoe got to campout downstairs with us.  While we played Scrabble, Zoe played in her playpen with her toys.  It was so sweet when she started talking to the Ernie character on the toy there in front of her.  She just held it, looked at it, chewed on him, and jabbered at him. Awwwwww...

 Hi Papa!

 Helping her Papa spell some good words!

 She was getting sleepy by now and not too sure what I was doing with my camera.

 I promised Zoe we wouldn't tell on her and she promised to not tell on Uncle Rob and me because we let her stay up late with us and watch some t.v.  :)  Just our little secret!

Then she slept downstairs with Uncle Rob and me.  She woke up about 5:45 not sure of where she was I think, but came and slept/snuggled with me on the love seat.  I will CHERISH that memory for a long time to come!!!

Zoe and Aunt Beka at our 1st Sleepover from Rebekah Thomas on Vimeo.

Zoe

Rob and I are thrilled that we got to be back home for Zoe's first Christmas.  Zoe is our niece- our first, much anticipated, and much adored niece.  It hurts to be so far away from her and not be a part of her day-to-day life, so this was a special treat for us.
I'll try to not bore you to death or make your eyes bleed from photo overload, but I can't hardly restrain myself.  Here are some of my favorite "Zoe" pictures from Christmas.

Let's start with this cute video.  Zoe was not too sure about all of us big people of course.  On that first night we were there, though, she was fascinated with Robert and all his hair. :)

Zoe, Meet Your Hairy Cousin from Rebekah Thomas on Vimeo.

My Momma and her pride & joy, Zoe. :)

 I know I'm partial, but isn't she a cutie?!? :)

 Our oldest, Robert with his cute cousin.  I love their faces in this photo. :)

 She was, as all babies are, more interested in the wrapping paper than the gift. :)

My sister, Jessica with her sweet baby.  For some reason, I didn't take any photos of Scott.  Sorry about that, Sis.  Not sure why that is???

 Zoe is looking up at Uncle Rob.  He wanted a photo of her with his Cardinals blanket.

 On our last day together these two cousins decided to get together finally.  Zoe smiled at Matthew while we were there, and was mesmerized by his height.  Matthew is timid of Zoe because he is so big and she is so little.  I loved these pictures of them together.

 This is my favorite!!!!  She just tucked up to him and grinned so big.  So precious!

 getting tired 

  sleeping beauty

Love how Papa and Zoe are looking at each other here.

 blurry photo- but Robert and Zoe were laughing so hard together- it was adorable

 Zoe wanted to put Barbara's necklace in her mouth.  She just kept sticking it in Barbara's mouth and laughing.

 fascinated by Barbara's face

 Zoe kept playing with Matthew's chain and the ring he put on it.

 tickle time!



Surprise Christmas Trip 2011

We've been in NC for six years.  When we came we hoped/thought we would get to go "home" for Christmases, but that didn't happen.  Multiple paycuts, lack of $, and young people needing to work got in the way of that desire.  I feel guilty (because it's Rebekah, she feels guilty about everything- in case you hadn't already figured that out).

Anywhoo, a miracle occurred this year and all of our kids were able to get off of work for a few days at Christmas.  All the kids also contributed to the cash needed to go home and we snuck off across country as soon as I got out of school and showed up on my parents' doorstep one night before Christmas to surprise them. :)  And surprise them we did!!!! :) :) :) 

To save yourself some time, watch the first few seconds (about 10) and then skip ahead to about 2:35 or so to see the g'parents get their surprise. :)

Operation Surprise the Grandparents from Rebekah Thomas on Vimeo.

It was Zoe's first Christmas, so we hoped it would be an extra special Christmas for my parents. We were able to visit with them for a few days before heading down towards St. Louis to see Rob's mom and a few of my relatives in that area. What a trip- over 2,000 miles in total!

Home

Home.  A simple word. With so many meanings and associations and emotions.

I'm rethinking what that one word means to me now.

home-Greensboro NC- I reside in a place we call home.  I go home after teaching a group of children every day.  We returned home from our Christmas trip to the place we live.  I do love this home we are buying; we had to wait a long time to get it, and I am so thankful for it.  We live here now; have lived in this area for over six years now- longer than we've ever lived in one place before. 

home- Illinois-side of St. Louis metro area- The places where I was born and did most of my growing up.  A sense of "roots" if you will. Many of my extended family are still in that area.  It is the place where my husband was born & grew up, where we met, fell in love and married, where we graduated from, where we struggled those first years of marriage, where we put ourselves through college, where our children were born, and many family memories are there. 

"home"- Quad Cities, IL/IA- What we often refer to as our "home" or "back home" is 900 miles or so away from where we currently live.  It is where my parents and sister/brother-in-law/niece live.  It is where we moved from to move here.  It has a lot of sentiment attached to it- long, green, tall fields of corn; lots of snow and cold; storms (real weather); farm fields where you can see for a long way out and watch storms come in or the combines harvesting the crops; the Mississippi (which I have almost always lived near); many memories of our children growing up, Christmases together, school and sports events; work friends; children we've taught...

The problem Rob and I seem to face is that we find we don't "belong" to any of those homes it seems.  We visited some of them over our Christmas break, and it felt strange to us.  We know these places, we have many memories and recognized the physical places we were in.  But we felt like an outsider looking in.  We grew up and lived in these places but they changed/we changed and we don't quite fit in anymore.  Yet we don't belong to this new "home" we live in either.  We are outsiders here in NC- strange creatures who know what tornadoes look like, know what "real" storms, cold, and snow is.  We don't think the weather here is brutal or horribly cold.  We don't care much for super sweet tea.  We don't talk quite like people here (though I see that starting to change and kind of hate it).  My family notices changes in me and though it's silly I know, I cried over that while we were home. 

I guess all this means is that I will have to look to HOME - the only one that really matters anyway.  This earth is only a place to travel and live for a handful of hopefully double digit years before moving on to the eternal home.  And feeling like out outsider gets old some days.  Feeling alone and disconnected leaves me homesick for HOME.  So I'll try to cherish the good memories of my old homes, learn to make a home here for my children to cherish, and look for the day when I can go HOME to a place that will not leave me feeling homesick or left behind or disappointed.  And until that day comes I will enjoy every day I get to come home to this abode and be with the ones I love and every chance I get to go "home" and see my dear parents, sister, brother, and niece.

crazy busy days

I always do this- plan lots of projects and things to do in the last days before break.

Today my class worked on their service project (making treat bags for EVERY adult/staff member/volunteer including cafeteria, office, support staff, and bus drivers at our school). They baked gingerbread cookies with Matthew and decorated them with me. They helped me wrap two gifts for volunteers. Plus we had reading and math lessons somewhere in there too.

The last two days of school include:

• jazz concert for those who earned enough "Jaybucks"
• finishing our service project & delivering all those treat bags throughout the day
• wrapping one last gift
• making cards for our volunteers, a donor, and our parents
• a class celebration
• the monthly "Jaymart" store
• the school's Holiday Store (kids get to go and choose one free gift for one parent)
• and, oh yeah, I will be still teaching in there somewhere :)

I haven't slept much at all in the last week; I hate insomnia.

I have to go, but I will write later in the week to share some photos and blab about our Christmas I'm sure. I have some neat videos I hope to be able to post- have to figure out a couple things first, but please come back and see.

Until then, Merry Christmas to you and your families!

Much love,

Bekaboo :)

Craft Club fun

I am doing an after school club this year- the Craft Club. I was really, really nervous about it but wanted to try to do something to support the after school club program at our school and help our kids. So, I stepped out and, boy am I glad I did!!!! What fun we are having! I have two of my own young people helping me; Barbara & Matthew have been GREAT volunteers at school and have been such a big help!!!

Today was our third session. The first week the kids made nature cards with pine branches, leaves and nature stamps. Last week they made fleece scarves for themselves and waxed paper/melted crayon "window" cards which turned out REALLY nice!

Today's project was holiday card making. I can't post the kids' photos, but Matthew took some safe pix for me. Each of us took one of the cards, and the kids rotated around to make one or two of each.

The kids seem to be really enjoying the projects so far, and I am having a blast working with the kids, finding and planning projects, and working alongside my own children. :)

We will be running this session through February and then starting a new group of kids through the end of the year. In January we are going to do paper mache snowmen, origami & kirigami, shape cards (snowmen/penguins), and I think maybe make some glazed coasters. I'm going to look for something really, really neat to do with them in February for our finish. I've been bookmarking lots of ideas and am thinking of things for the Spring session: paper mache "spring" baskets, book blankets, popup cards, paper flowers...

Where in the World is Jesus?

Pardon the Waldo reference; it worked in my head anyway at the moment. :)

Jesus came in a manger. He died on a cross. He rose from the grave. But he's not in any of those places now. So where can we find Him? Well...

I might be wrong, but today I think I glimpsed Jesus at some not-so-"normal," certainly not-holy places. I think I saw Him wearing a Santa hat and playing Christmas music on his portable keyboard outside Blumenthals & Dollar General on Market St. in Greensboro. I rowed down my window, waved, smiled and hollered, "Merry Christmas" to him and he wished me a Merry Christmas too. Made me smile so big inside!!!

I saw Him outside the JoAnn's fabric store where I held a door for him and we chatted for a minute about using a cane to walk (he was). I told him how thankful I was to be walking and doing so well after the terrible fall I had six weeks ago. He gave me a present from his pocket- a tiny cross that says "God loves you" on it. We wished each other His blessings and a Merry Christmas.

I saw Him today in the smiles on three 4th grade children's faces as they gave up their recess time to come hang out in my room, talk with me, and just spend time around me and my students. I saw Him in A's face as she talked about her memories of my old Kindergarten classroom and the time that I hid the gingerbread cookies and told the kids their Gingerbread Men had run away and we went on a hunt for them. I saw Him in her love for me and mine for her. I saw Him in the pipecleaner bracelet E made for me, and in S's laughter at/with me and in the hugs and kisses they all had for me when it was time for them to return to their classes.

I saw Him in my children's hard work and improved behavior today. They were extra especially good for me when my stomach got sick and I had to keep running to the bathroom.

I saw Him in me too today- when I wished people Merry Christmas- I was sure I felt Him smiling at me. I saw Him when I walked with hardly no limp at all into a doctor's office where just two weeks ago I could only limp horribly in and the doctor thought I might have a permanent limp and need therapy.

I saw Him with me as I picked up pants for my son, gloves for all my students (their poor hands were freezing today at recess), thread for Christmas projects and things I'm making.

I saw Him in my 21 year old son who passed me our two bags of groceries as we left the store to run across the parking lot and offer his help to a single mom with her young son who was obviously fighting cancer.

I saw Him in my 20 year old daughter who is working hard to help me make a ton of cookies to give away to our neighbors, a doctor's office, the people who work at a fast food joint we used to go to, and whoever else we end up sharing with. (Let's just say my family teases me because it is my tradition to take cookie/treat trays to gas stations & fast food places on Christmas day- I'm weird, I know.)

I saw Him in my 19 year old son as he played on the playground with my students (oh, how they LOVE Mr. Matthew!!!) and as he worked with students today to help them understand their math assignments and as he exhibited great patience with great grace.

He came 2000 years ago to a poor, lowly family in the most unholy way a king could come. I think He likes to operate that way- on the humble side, coming to the world in unconventional, "unreligious" ways. Maybe I'm silly, but I don't think so. I think Jesus is all around us if we only look. He's in the most simple things as well as the grand things.

I'm curious. Where have you seen Jesus lately?

Holiday Expectations

Expectations. We all have them. When they are met, it is a wonderful feeling- cloud 9, heavenly, top of the world, euphoric (that is a word, right?)... But when life doesn't match up to what we had expected or hoped, well that brings about a lot of feelings we'd rather not have.

The radio and television keep telling us this is "the most wonderful time of the year..." I am amazed at how many times I've heard the word "deserve" on commercials in just the last week. I deserve an 80" HD LED t.v. I deserve a Lexus, of course I do. I deserve a break today at McDonalds. (I know that's old, just couldn't resist throwing it in there too.) I deserve so many things I had no idea I deserved; it's amazing I tell you! I'm not harping against Christmas, buying gifts for people, or even trying to comment on the blatant commercialism of the season (though I suppose I could- I looked up that t.v. for curiosity's sake- $8,000 t.v.'s?????? Who'd a thunk it?)

What I am saying is this time of year is a mixed bag of emotions for many people. I am one of those people. I try really, really hard to fight it. I feel guilty about it because, well it's Rebekah- she feels guilty about almost anything. If you wanted to be rainy when it was sunny, or sunny when it was rainy, I'd apologize to you. :)

Every year, I feel the blues when Christmas is over, and I hate that. I love this time of year from October through Christmas- it's a wonderful feeling- all the beautiful colors of fall and then Christmas, the decorations around the house- 1st Thanksgiving and then the lights and colors and trees... I love the time with family, and baking with my kids, and the memories, sweet memories of my children growing up all these years and holidays with my parents and sister. I hate for that to all end. And Christmas, as we knew it all these years with young children, is changing. Our kids are starting their own lives and Christmas will change again. I know we'll grow to love the new Christmas traditions we'll start; it's just different having grown kids. I miss Charlie Brown and Frosty and Rudolph. I still watch them, but it's just not the same.

I struggle to ignore the homesickness for my family and "home" and the sense of loss of family that I had in all my memories from my childhood. I miss the family get-togethers with momma, daddy, my sister, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents. That's part of life I know- people die, young ones grow up and have their own families, people forget, families have dysfunction, people move on and do what they have to do to survive....

So, the last couple years I am working really hard on my expectations of Christmas. I am asking God to help me remember what it is really about anyway- it's not about a tree or lots of wrapped packages under the tree. It's not the lights and decorations or a house that smells of cookies and breads. As much as I love a few people back in Illinois, Christmas isn't even about being with them. It's not about what I deserve in the sense of what the t.v. says. It is about what I DESERVE and the gift that was delivered long before I was a blip on God's radar screen.

I deserve a lot, and none of it good. We all do. But instead, God sent the greatest gift the world will ever know. The truly sad part of Christmas is that so many people don't know they have this gift. That's what should break my heart instead of me feeling sad because I don't have little kids eager to see the pretty tree or me feeling sorry for myself because I can't see my parents or be nearer to my family.

So, once again this year, I'm working on expecting different things this holiday. I expect to show and give love every day this month. I expect to see people smile as a result of the way I act. I expect to make other people feel good and laugh. I expect to find small ways to show Christ's love. I expect to love with all my heart. I expect to find God in new places that I might not have ever thought I would. I expect myself to find the good in bad things.

After all, as wonderful as this time of year truly can be, it is not necessarily the most wonderful time of the entire year. That's putting a lot on poor ol' Christmas. There's also Easter (what a truly wonderful reason to celebrate). There's spring with its new life and flowers and hope for fresh beginnings. There's summer- a time to relax, swim, go for walks, take vacation. There's fall with its gorgeous colors, crisp nights. There are anniversaries and birthdays- oh how I love to celebrate birthdays! There are lots of other days that have no special honor assigned to them that will be equally lovely because of the good things that may happen on them. Maybe it's putting an unfair burden on Christmas to expect so much from it. As wonderful as Christmas can be, it's just a day- a wonderful day- a day to remember the most important GIFT that ever was or ever will be given. But maybe God never intended all this other junk to be attached to His special day. I'm pretty sure He wouldn't say I deserve that big screen t.v. or a new car just because He was born 2,000 years ago. :)

I am challenging myself to give love away every day in honor of His birthday- but not just at this season- all year long. I am challenging myself to look for Him in the littlest of things. I found him too- yesterday morning when a lady cut me off on the highway and I didn't honk- I couldn't be sure, but I kind of thought maybe, just maybe, I saw Jesus out of the corner of my eye smiling at me and giving me a high five from the passenger seat of my car.

His kindness...

I don't know if I can say this the way I want to- it's getting late, and I am just wanting to remember this for later- to think on it and maybe wade into the "deep end" more when I can.

I don't even remember now what it was exactly in the sermon on Sunday, but at one point, I said something to Rob because I felt some hope that maybe I am actually doing good for God after all.... Rob (also like me a "heathen Christ-follower" who struggles with his "Christianity" but strives to live for God) said something that has stuck with me all week- "His kindness leads to repentance." I looked it up to find it, and it's in Romans (Romans 2:4 "Don't you see
how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean
nothing to you? Can't you see that His kindness is intended to turn you from
your sin?") That has so much meaning for me personally... God is WONDERFULLY kind, tolerant, and PATIENT, Rebekah. God is not waiting for me to mess up, waiting to bust me, waiting with a list of my wrongs... God is kindness and mercy and if anything he is waiting to help me.


But I was reading in Acts last night and boy did something really jump out at me that goes so well with that scripture Rob reminded me of. In Acts 19, the Bible is talking about how Paul lived in an area for a couple years and was so well known that even the demons knew who he was. It talks about how Paul preached, taught, and more... and how people came to know Christ because they were at first curious about Paul but then came to know the Lord. People openly confessed their sins, came and burnt their scrolls of sorcery (and the Bible even mentions the value of it all- it sounds quite impressive, the change in people's hearts & lives). I was left with this thought- Paul taught and served God, and God worked on men's hearts. And what an amazing outcome!

I wish we could see that kind of outcome here, today, in our own country. It sure makes me wonder about that. I can't change the whole world. I can only try to change my own heart and be a positive influence on my children/family and the children whose lives I am a small part of each day/school year. I am trying to live a life that is as blameless as I can make it- got a long way to go there I know. And I'm praying that my life will be found pleasing to Him and that it will cause some kind of an amazing outcome in His eyes too.

And I'm praying that His church will see the "world" the same way He does. I hope we can learn to love, show His kindness, and let God lead people to His own repentance. He can do it so much better than we can anyway.

a gift that can't be taken away

Our children have not yet flown from our nest, but it is getting to be more and more rare to have them all three home at the same time. With Robert working out of town so much in the past few months during the week, then youth group on Fridays when he's home, working a lot of Saturdays, and church activities on Sundays, we don't see him much anymore. Barbara works and goes to college, so she's gone several nights a week and of course she has plans with friends too more and more. And Matthew works a few nights a week.

So it's just not too often that we can do something as a family anymore. Rob and I are learning to get used to this and try to look on it as "practice" for when the empty nest does come.

This Thanksgiving we had a wonderful lunch together before Robert went to church and Barbara went to work. We all worked together to make a delicious meal. Matthew and Barbara learned how to make pumpkin pie. And the kids made all the veggies. Matthew helped me make the dressing (it was the best I think I've ever made!) We talked to our parents back home, had time with our kids; it was a very nice day.

I think, though, the thing I will cherish the most was the past two evenings. Robert and Barbara don't usually stay up too late. Robert is used to getting up very early so he's early-to-bed. Barbara usually goes to bed around 10ish (or when she gets home from work). She may stay up late upstairs working on homework, reading, texting, playing on her computer, but she's not one to stay up late downstairs. She likes to have her downtime in her room before bedtime. Matthew is a more solitary kind of guy- he needs downtime more than the other two young people, and can often be found in his room or in the backyard just walking around spending time in his thoughts or writing.

So last night, when Matthew got home from work at 9 o'clock, I was surprised when they all came in the living room and watched a movie with us. We watched the Jim Carrey version of "The Christmas Tale." The boys threw down pillows and blankets on the floor and Barbara spread out on the loveseat. We had a movie night together- all five of us. :) I can't even remember the last time we had a family movie night!

Then today no one had to work, so us ladies did groceries (my first time in a month!), the men worked in the yard on leaf duty and took down all the fall decorations. We went to a matinee movie at the dollar theater a block away from our home. Barbara's friend, Jonathan, went with us. Then we all came home and just hung out here- talking, laughing. Robert cooked some delicious Greek chicken and couscous for us. Now they're watching an old English Christmas comedy, and we're all here together again.

I will cherish this weekend's time together. So very, very thankful for a chance to be together -and a wonderful time too. In 24 hours life will go back to "normal," and we won't see each other as much or have time to watch movies or talk as much. Thank you God for giving us another time to be together as a family.

Thanksgiving

I know it is the norm for people to express thanksgiving at this time of year. I'm not trying to be cliche, and if you were my FB friend you'd know I've been trying to take time every day to express my thanks for I have figured out just how blessed I am. But what I'm learning from the past year or two is that even when, at the moment, I might not "seem" blessed, I still am. I am learning in my late 30s' and now early 40s that time adds perspective and with perspective you can start to get a glimpse of a bigger picture. I can only imagine God's perspective- how amazing it must be!!!!

I can see how those unplanned pregnancies were some of the greatest joy-givers in my life. I can see how three babes in diapers under the age of three years old grew up to become the laughter, joy, spunk in my life and how much richer my life is for having them. When I feel lousy about myself, which we all know I do fairly often, all I have to do is listen to my young people talking/laughing/joking, listen to them talk about the world or their passions or about God (that's the BEST!), and I realize I this- I may have done nothing else right in this world, but I did that! I helped to raise three amazing, wonderful young people. That's no small feat! That's a lot of hard work and persistence and love and tears and tons and tons of prayers. I had a hand in that. The world will be a better place; they will touch the lives (already have) of many others and how can I not at least be thankful for that? How can I not be blessed by being their mom? I

am! And I am so thankful that I got to be their mom and that we have each other and that I finally realized all this before it was too late for me.

I can see how that man I took vows with has become my best friend. How those hard times we struggled to make it through, where we loved each other but probably didn't like each other so much at times, how they helped pull us together and wound our hearts together so tightly. I can see that because we made it through that junk we are now bonded together so much more and so much better. And because I didn't give up on Rob and Rob didn't give up on Rebekah, we have a friendship, a companionship that survives other rough times and makes them not seem so bad.

I can see how all those times when we could barely pay the rent or worried how we'd keep a roof over our heads led to me TRULY appreciating buying a home in a way that I wouldn't have if I hadn't ever had those worries. This place we live is so much more precious to me than it would have been otherwise, and crazy as it sounds I am so thankful that it took so long and so much to get here because I am really, really grateful to God for a home.

The same with food- because I have gone without, I am so much more thankful for having food on the table. Not a day goes by that I don't open the pantry or frig and see food there and think, "Thank you God that we have food in the house to eat."

And now, because I have known a minor degree of helplessness and having to depend on others through an illness/injury, I have a new appreciation for being able to do for myself and I look forward to being able to cook again, prepare my own plate, and do all the things that I took for granted before.

And what seemed like the "year-from-you-know-where" last year has taught me a lot, and I actually am thankful for that. I think I am turning out to be a better teacher for that year, and I'm finding out that even in my hardest time as a teacher I still helped some kids somehow-that one is totally on God. And for that I am more humbled and thankful than I could ever say. It's really a moment of awareness when you realize that even when you are brought down a notch or two or a lot by your critics, God can still use you- that God doesn't listen to the critics. And that God used me at all in the midst of all that hurt, betrayal, and anger I felt last year, that God could use me to reach some hearts in some bruised children... well I am honored to have been there. And yes, I know after all my hurts and venting I did last year, I am actually thankful that I got to be the teacher that was there. I thought I had failed, and that thought drove me crazy last year, but I am finding out this year that maybe, just maybe I didn't fail Him or them. And for that realization I am very thankful.

There are so many other things I could say I'm thankful for, but the material things really don't matter. I'm thankful for the loved ones I have, for God opening up the lines of communication this year with a couple of my cousins that I have dearly missed & that they loved me enough to come out here to spend time with me and mine- what a gift- they will never know how much that means to me. I'm thankful for time with my family, for His provision and care, for being able to be a part of so many children's lives over the years, for the love I get to give every weekday (and for the love He sends back my way through the smiles and hugs of some pretty neat children). I'm thankful that even though 1,000 miles separate me from my "home" family, we still have each other and remain close. I'm thankful that this year my sister and her husband have a little bundle of love named, Zoe Nicole Rose, to share Thanksgiving with. I'm thankful that Momma still has Pop with her this year and that he has her too.

So this Thanksgiving, though I may not be able to cook the meal as I'm limited to crutches still, I am going to take time to say thank you to Him for helping me to see the really, true blessings in life and for helping me to grow up some more, for helping me to have a heart of thanks in a time when I could have not.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. I hope He shines down some extra love, laughter, and joy to you wherever you are!

Rebekah/Beka/Bekaboo :)

I COOKED!!!!

I know that sounds silly, but after not being able to for a while now, I'm so happy to have been able to help cook supper. Tonight I made all of us homemade veggie fried rice. So yummy!!!! And it's healthier too because I don't use much oil and no extra preservatives or stuff- just egg, brown rice, veggies, fresh chopped onion & garlic, sesame oil, soy sauce and black pepper. mmmmmmmm :)

And a sweet, cute, funny thing I heard today in my room- When I took a few steps (and I am talking just a few) with just one crutch, one of my kids saw me and told the other kids- "She's walking!!!" Then I heard the kids saying, "Mrs. Thomas, you're WALKING!!!" I turned around to see my kids clapping, cheering, and smiling from ear to ear. Kids are so funny!!!

So happy to be getting closer to "normal"- got a ways to go yet to be back to good health all the way, but I'm happy to be one day, one step closer today. And so happy for the prayers of many. Today one of my sweet girls told me that she had asked her church to pray for me. So somewhere in High Point is a Spanish-speaking Baptist church praying for a very silly, very clumsy teacher. Talk about feeling loved tonight! :)

Tonight when you pray can you pray for a little girl from my "back home" who is in desperate need of God's intervention? Her name is Marissa, and she needs a miracle from heaven.

little reflections

I've worked two days in a row! :) If (make that "when") I make it through tomorrow I will have worked more in one week than I have in the past three weeks. :) Here's to my new favorite #- 3! :)

I have a new/better appreciation of some things after the past two or three weeks.

• Continuing to grow in Christ- for that I'm more thankful than I can say!!!!!! I am finally getting better at handling trials- I hope this lasts, not the trials but the growing up in this area!!!! I've tried to be tough and strong many times in my life, but always felt like a failure at that. This time, I kept laughing, kept smiling, kept thinking about the positives, and (fingers crossed) I think I am about to leave that storm behind.
• my family- words just can't say enough how much they mean to me. Through all this stuff I've had my family's prayers, love, calls, texts, facebook messages. And here at my home, my husband and children have taken such loving, good care of me. It makes me cry when I think of how good Rob has been to me- from helping me bathe and dress to waiting on me hand and foot to picking up the slack around everything else that needed to be done that I couldn't do, to cleaning up after I got sick- he's been a dream husband. Matthew has been super sweet to his mom. He has taken naps with me and watched movies with me while I was trapped in bed. He talked with me, joked with me, bought food and fixed me delicious, healthy lunches, helped me get up and down, came to check on me when he heard me crying... he's just been so good to me!!! We've had some really nice times together these past few days. Barbara has helped me bathe and dress and laugh and taken care of me. She's kept me joking and making fun of myself and keeping it light. :) Robert works out of town during the week, but he's called me and texted me and sent me pictures of the ocean while I was in the dr.'s office to cheer me up. He's prayed for me. My Momma has worried and prayed and called and worried and prayed and called. I have a new appreciation for what my Momma must have gone through with her cancer battle- I just can't imagine it all, but this gave me a tiny, tiny taste of what being ill for a while might feel like.
• Being "able-bodied"- I try to be thankful for things. I don't take a lot for granted- there were really hard times in our marriage and family, and I see a lot in my job- so I know I'm blessed. But still, I never really understood how awesome it is to be able to do for myself. First it was surgery, then I got the silly staph infection/allergic reaction, then I did a header in the parking lot. Now, I am doing better day-by-day, but I still need one of my guys to help me get up out of the chair. I can't get a shower without Rob or Barbara helping me. I just started driving again today. I haven't been able to carry anything, and then on crutches can't even go fix my own plate of food or get a glass of water. I have had to have help to bathe, get dressed... I don't like to ask for help, don't take help easily, don't like to be needy... All of this has helped me appreciate simple things like taking a warm shower, driving myself to work, being able to walk and move on my own, putting on my own shoes....
• Being able to work- after last year I can't believe I'd say that- but working is feeling pretty stinkin' good to me this week. :) Nice to feel needed by my children, missed and loved, and to feel like I'm contributing to something, to my family, to my school children... I was beginning to feel totally useless- not a feeling I liked!
• being healthy- I didn't have cancer or major surgery or even a serious injury. But those combinations of things I did have put me out of work off and on now for three weeks. I've drained my sick days. I'm so grateful to be feeling better today (was SO sick last night), to be starting to move around more easily. I'm SOOOOOO looking forward to being totally back to good health, able to move easily, walk without taking headers, and get back to walking and losing more inches/weight! I will NEVER take that for granted again!

I can think of more, but that'll do for tonight.

I have loved this verse for years, since I worked for a really mean person way back in Illinois. This verse got me through some really rough, long days. But after all this stuff that's been going on, this verse has taken on new meaning. And a personal hope that it can be taken LITERALLY. :) :) :)

Psalm 121- I lift up my eyes to the mountains; where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip. He who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD watches over you; the LORD is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all harm. He will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

Night!

prayers please

I'm going back to work (again) tomorrow. Please pray I don't fall again, don't get tripped up or do anything else stupid. I'm really not feeling too hot, my hand is getting infected, and I'm still on crutches so I hope this week goes quickly. Most of all, I'm praying I actually make it through this whole week without any sick days or any other "issues." I haven't worked a full week the past three weeks.

Hope your week is drama free and full of joy!

Rebekah :)

I think I need a bubble. :) hahahahaha

I have tried twice to post an entry here, but Blogger and I don't seem to get along the last week or so, and it keeps losing my posts. :( Let's try one more time.

I'm alive and still laughing, though today I finally did cry. Twelve days ago, I had surgery on my back. The doctor took out a grapefruit sized tumor. I had a local and made it through with flying colors- no tears, didn't holler or be a baby about it. Came home, started recovering, stayed tough. For me, who is always hard on herself, I was proud of myself for being a "big girl" about it all.

Went back to work last Wednesday, two hours in, my incision started bulging. The short version is I have a staph infection. Got medicine, doc was concerned about it possibly being MRSA... by Thursday night I was starting to have an allergic reaction- stupid me went on to school Friday thinking, "Oh I can make it through the day... until I go in anyway for my followup." Yeah, no. Had to leave after lunch because my throat was feeling like it was swelling. So I started a new prescription and Benadryl. By Saturday I was feeling lousy- sinus stuff on top of everything else and I just didn't feel good. Still, I was trying to be tough.

Today on my way into school, I fell in the parking lot. Busted up my knee really badly and one hand, and have a badly sprained ankle. Doc doesn't think it's broken, but says he thinks I have torn all the major ligaments in the ankle. I am in a brace & crutches and waiting for an ortho appointment time. This is painful, and I have to confess I did cry today. I made it through the bloodied up knee and hand and the ride home, through the appointment, but when I got home and remembered (oh yeah!) I had to get up some stairs to my house, I started crying. I am home, in my pj's and have some lovely pain medicine left from surgery plus the prescription he gave me if I need it. I can't go to work tomorrow since my class is going on a trip to the circus. :( I feel so bad for being out again, but I'll get through it I know.

Right now, I just want everything to be healed up, the infection to go away, and to be able to walk with my husband and sleep in my bed without pain. The good news is even with all this stuff, and the lousy back, and not being able to walk for a while now, I'm holding my weight loss pretty well. :) :) :) So, how's that for a BIG HUGE "I like me" today? :)

So even though, I feel like crud, am embarrassed about falling and looking like a clutz (which I am), I am still making way in the battle against the lard. :) I WILL get better, my back will heal and the staph germs will go away, my ankle will get better, and I WILL get back to walking with my hubby and back to losing weight. It may take me a while, but I am going to win this war against my fat.

In the meantime, anybody know where I can buy a big bubble? I think for my own health, maybe my family needs to wrap me in a bubble wrap or a big bubble. My dear daughter, told me she thinks the family should all go in and buy me a Hover-round chair. hahahahahahaha Knowing me, I'd still find a way to injure myself and fall even with that! :)

Okay, here goes. Let's see if Blogger is going to let me post this.

Love,
Rebekah/Beka/Bekaboo :)

home from hospital

Made it home from the hospital this morning and survived my surgery, which is always a good thing. :) :) :)

These GORGEOUS flowers came from my wonderful parents. Thanks Momma & Pop!!!! They are really the prettiest flowers- LOVE LOVE LOVE the sunflowers and the autumn colors and the ribbon. Looking forward to being home to enjoy them these next few days.

So the short version is the "thing" is out of me. It was very large- about the size of a grapefruit. I have 25 stitches and steri-strips to show for it. There was a nerve wrapped up in the tumor- believe me I felt that! It was a wee bit painful at times and I could feel some cutting, but I made it. I kept telling myself, "I can do all things through Christ." and "I'm saving myself an anesthesiologist's bill this way." Barbara gave me her dog, Red, to take with me and I squeezed that poor thing to death a couple times. He has been to every family surgery since I bought him for her when she was three and had her tonsillectomy, plus he has traveled on all family trips and many of my adventures too. He went to Asheville with me in August for my work retreat. I woke up this morning to see my beautiful, compassionate 20 year old standing beside the recliner with Red in hand waiting to give it to me. I LOVE that girl o' mine!!!

I hated being away from my students; I had to work really hard yesterday afternoon to not cry in front of the kids because I could see the sadness and worry in their faces, words, and actions. One girl brought me a special personal belonging that she wanted me to have to think of her. Yeah, that almost made me cry too. They didn't want me to go and kept asking me this week, "Mrs. Thomas, is your back better? Are you going to be okay? ...." Barbara said they missed me today but did a pretty good job for the sub. They're going to be disappointed on Monday when I'm not there, but I hope I can make it back in on Tuesday with lots and lots of hugs (gentle, avoiding the back kind of hugs, but hugs anyway).

So now I have pain meds and a wonderful family to take care of me. I'm home until Monday anyway and pray that there are no complications in the hole in my back. Here's to hoping I feel better soon.

sweetest email ever!

I have never received an email from a student before. I had a 2nd grader who tried to email me yesterday but didn't know quite how to do it. We talked today about it; he had been visiting my class website and was so excited to see my photos and learn more about his crazy teacher.

He is one of the most thoughtful children I have known. I could tell you lots of stories. He hugs me EVERY day and then gives me another hug and says (every day, seriously) "Mrs. Thomas, please hug Barbara/Matthew and tell them 'goodbye' for me." Every day. When the 2nd graders left for their trip the other day, he came running back after they'd left with Barbara to hug me one more time and told me, "Mrs. Thomas, please tell the 1st graders I will miss them and I said, 'Have a nice day.'"

Today, I told my children very, very briefly today that I would be having surgery and would miss a day next week. I tried to keep it low key and very positive. I don't want to scare them. I came home today to find this email from my young friend.

"hey mrs thomas i will missyou are you goning to be oka i dont want to stay with mrs huks ar you goning to come back ar you gon fill bether dont for get to sent something back as soon as you can beybey or rith now"

Oh, God, THANK YOU for helping me to survive last year. Thank you for letting me love those kids last year who needed me to love them and be in their corner. And thank you for giving me this group this year and such loving, thoughtful children. Thank you for helping me to learn and grow from a hard place, and then blessing me with a joyous, peace-filled year so far to help me heal and regain my "groove."

And God, THANK YOU more than I can say for the wonderful results from one of my "last year" friends on her benchmarks this week. Maybe You helped me make a real difference after all. I am loved. You are showing me that. This week another teacher came to me to tell me that every kid she has asked said I was their favorite teacher. Wow! That stunned me!!!!

And then one of my kids this week asked me, "Mrs. Thomas, why do all the kids know you and hug you and shout at you?" THANK YOU God, for loving me through all these children, and more importantly letting me love them for You.

Blessings

I think I've shared this before, but I am really being reminded of this lesson in the last few months.

19 years

I should be asleep, but before I finally crash I wanted to write this down as a small prayer between God and me.

Thank you God for being there - always.

Even in the darkest times. You really are.

When it doesn't seem You are there. You really are.

Even when one can't sense Your presence. You really are.

When life hits you so hard it takes your breath away. You really are.

When you think you can't survive or go on another moment. You really are.

When no one is on your side and the world seems to be set against you. You really are.

And someday, down the road, you can see things more clearly. You realize that God was there through it all. And you're oh so humbled and grateful.

And, God after 19 years with a child I almost didn't get to have, I'm still humbled and grateful for every moment of every day of every one of these last 19 years. Thank you for my "gift of God," Matthew Lane Thomas, born 10/20/1992.

But most of all, God, thank You for being there 19 years ago when life fell apart and got really hard, and for all the other hard times in our lives (there have been more than a few, God, and You know them all and have been there for them all) that You were really there and I just couldn't see You. Thank You for not giving up on me then, or now. Let me never forget You and Your faithfulness. Let me be just a little more like You each day.

Hi

I miss being here! Teaching two grades sure is a lot of work, and I am going solid every night and most of the weekends. When I go back to just teaching one grade, I am not sure I'll know what to do with myself. :) But I'm keeping up, staying pretty organized, keeping my classroom looking nice... thanks to a lot of work on my part and two pretty AWESOME young people who volunteer in my room a couple days a week each. :) :) :) Thank you Barbara Rose and Matthew!!!!! I have a great group this year, and we are off to a great start. It will soon be the end of the 1st quarter already! :)

Rob and I took a mini-retreat to Asheville last weekend. We had to do schoolwork in our hotel room, but it was so nice! I have a love affair with the mountains I tell you!!!! We got up on Saturday and ate breakfast at the hotel and walked around downtown A'ville- such a neat place. I got a start on a few Christmas items too- can't wait to send my niece her gifts for her 1st Christmas! :)

I'm having some issues with my back- an ongoing problem for a few years now, but finally maybe I'm going to get some help and hopefully some healing. I started physical therapy this week, though I cried all the way home because I can't afford to do it. He says I need to come 2-3 times a week (at $65 a visit- YIKES!!!). I won't be doing that, but hopefully he can still help me. I also see a surgeon this week for the removal of a tumor in my back. The p.t. doc says that has to be causing some of my problems, so hopefully I'll feel better down the road.

My smiles lately include:

• taking time to get away with my hubby/best friend
• the mountains- God sure made a BEAUTIFUL world!!!!
• fall is here!
• getting back my "groove" in the classroom- thought it was gone forever, but it's coming back, and for that I'm more thankful than I can possibly say :)
• refinancing our house - thank You God for a home after all these years and the opportunity to lower our payment too
• Saturday grocery trips with one of my young people- LOVE that time just them and me. Matthew and I always play this guessing game as to the final price of our cart. Barbara and I always pick on each other while we check out. Whoever is with me, we always make the cashiers laugh and smile. :) I like doing that!
• weekends home with my family- my haven from all the craziness of life
• phone calls from my Momma- she doesn't know how much I love that!
• leaving phone messages for my Momma at her work on my way to school- knowing it will be the beginning of her workday when she gets them :)

prayer request

Please pray for my sister and her hubby and infant daughter. Jessica has meningitis and Scott is starting to not feel well too. Please pray for Zoe and my parents that none of them will come down with this.

Thank you SO much for your prayers!!!!

Rebekah :)

Thinking of a friend tonight

I've been working hard all night on grading papers, evaluating my 2nd graders place value pretests, creating a spreadsheet to do said analysis... Matthew & I also made my fruit dessert for the 4th grade teachers tonight.

But I've been checking on a friend too in between all that. Today was her daughter's first day of Kindergarten. Her daughter, Hannah, died a few years ago, and I knew today was going to be quite a day for her. I'm sitting her crying after reading her blog. Her Hannah sure blessed a lot of people in her short time here. Her bus driver still remembered Hannah, and is still carrying a card Hannah made for her all these years later.

Rach, I don't know if you still come here, but THANK YOU for sharing your Hannah with those of us who visit you. Thank you for being honest and real with everybody- the good and the painful. I'm praying for you sweet lady!!!!! And sending you hugs and a lot of love tonight!!!!

God is love!!!!

Oh wow, I just got done writing and then watched this video my sister sent me. Talk about timing and reading each other's minds! :)

God is love!!!!

Christians give God a black eye sometimes. :(

Disclaimer: I am a Christian, but I have NEVER claimed to be much of one- in fact, I am often saying how I am not a good Christian. I know that I am sinful, have major issues, and am a long way from where I want to be, let alone far from the mark God wants me to be. And because of that, I don't go around spouting scriptures or trying to tell others how to live their lives. I know that I am a full time job and am no expert in a position to tell others how it is supposed to be done.

Now, on to my soap box. :)

First of all, I know Facebook is not a place for truly intelligent conversations. A while back, I "liked" the Bible page on FB. A few weeks ago, there was this huge, ugly debate there about tattoos. It was truly ugly. People were quoting verses from Leviticus right & left and saying how people with tattoos were going to hell, that God hates tattoos, etc. Other people were quoting a scripture in Revelations that talks about Jesus returning with a mark on his thigh (and saying that sounded like a tattoo)... It truly got to the ridiculous point. I broke my policy of not talking religion and politics, and stupidly commented with some scripture about how we are supposed to love one another and isn't that the way we are known... A couple days later it was still going on and I stupidly again posted a comment about how it was wrong for Christians to be tearing each other up so much. I will NEVER again break that policy of mine. Just dumb. People that stuck in their ideas aren't likely to be convinced anyway. I just get upset. Moving on. I now no longer "like" the Bible- at least on FB. :) That just kind of cracks me up. I do like the Bible though, so don't worry.

Today I see on Casting Crowns page this comment, "Well I've been thoroughly rebuked for mentioning Amazon since apparently they sell books written by sinners. Go figure." Seriously??? Give me a break! I'm just not going there. But really people.

I think a lot of judgmental Christians either need to read or reread the gospels. They must have missed Jesus' life. Folks, he ate and associated and "hung out" with SINNERS- oh my!!!! People accused Him of being a drunkard because of who He associated with. Jesus did not condemn people (oh so many he could rightly have done so too). He didn't cast the first stone, he ate at the tax collector's house, he was friends with a prostitute. Maybe I have it all wrong, but it sounds to me like this Jesus we find in the gospels wouldn't have been liked by our modern-day church people either. Oh my, maybe He would even have had a tattoo. He probably would have hung out with the homeless, he might even have listened to rap music- you never know.

What I do know is that He told us to LOVE. He loved people from young to old, sick to healthy, poor to wealthy. He wept over a city filled with people who didn't know the truth. Over and over and over in the letters of the New Testament, I keep reading "love, love, love, love...." We are known by our love. We are to love our brothers and sisters. We are His if we keep His commandment to love... I think LOVE was a big deal to Jesus and still is.

So why do we go around beating each other up, what in the world do we expect the "outside" to think???? We represent Christ, God's love, and we supposedly want to bring others to know Him. Well, I know if you were telling me you were some follower of a great teacher but you acted rude, called each other names, told each other where to go (as it were), I would think your teacher was awful and have nothing to do with him/her. As a public school teacher, if my students say I'm the best but they go around unable to read, not able to do basic math, write horribly, the public would say I'm not a good teacher. The same thing is happening every time we Christians tear each other down.

It can't please God at all. I think it has to hurt His heart a great deal. And though I'm so far from what I need to be too, it all just makes me sick. To be honest, it's a lot of why I'm just done with church. I go, and will continue to work on improving that, but sometimes my heart is just not in it and this is mostly why.

God, help me to not judge others and be this way. Help me to change my own sinful ways. Let me not give You a bad reputation or black eye with my words and deeds. Help me to bring You honor through my life and the example I live. I know I have a long way to go, but help me get there.