Dexter & Samson

Jessica, these are for you since you asked me about the dogs.

Samson- 1 1/2 years old

(lab & border collie mix)
Dexter- almost 7 years old

(lab & basset hound mix)

Sunday, Sunday

Oooohhhh, yum! To end this day, I am enjoying the BEST cantaloupe I ever ate and these yummy blackberries, both of which Barbara and I bought yesterday at the Farmers' Market.

I was violently sick today and left church early. I just barely got home in time to visit the toilet. My stomach hasn't hurt that bad in a long time. My ears were ringing so loudly! I took my anti-nausea medicine, read Psalm 91, and slept all the rest of the morning and afternoon.

Thank God I am feeling better now!!! I have done my lesson plans for this week, and am going to now eat my delicious bowl of fruit and watch a Jane Austen movie- my favorite author!

AAAGGGHHH- Okay, now breathe- Okay now :)

I gain more and more appreciation and understanding of my own momma as my kids continue to grow up and now, enter the world as young adults. But, aaaaaahhhhh- sometimes I just could scream.

This evening was a wee bit stressful as first, Robert, and then Barbara and I had a few "words" - some heated, some not- about college, jobs, $, school, choices, and the future. They just know that they know and I don't. I know that they don't know as much as they think they do and that, though I don't know it all either, I know a few things, and shock of all shocks- I might even know some important things!

Feelings get hurt, and tempers flare, and words are said, and attitudes rear their sometimes ugly heads. But, in the end, we are all okay, and all is right with the world again, or at least I think so. :) Whew! I weathered another parent storm.

This part of parenthood is a bit strange and new for me- parenting young adults. I have no clue what I'm doing and just when I thought I was getting parenting figured out, well there's a whole new set of problems, dynamics, and scenarios to figure out! Parenting, as I am learning, is a never ending job I guess.

Glad my momma didn't kill me when I was this age and just knew I knew and she didn't! Thanks Momma!!!!!!!!!

Meditations

Psalm 121:1-3 I lift up my eyes to the hills; from where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth. He will not let your foot be moved; He who keeps you will not slumber.

Psalm 91:1 & 2 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, "My refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust.

I trust You God, no matter what. I will try to just stay in Your shelter. I need to learn to live day by day, and for today, I thank You that You will help me and that You do not sleep or grow weary. If anyone would make You weary, it would have to be me, but thank You that You do not.

Bath Time Is For the Dogs

Here are my :) thoughts for today:

Rob decided the dogs needed a bath- I should tell you that Dexter got a bath the other night at 11:30 PM or so when he got loose, yet again, during a storm. Rob tracked him down and somehow he had gotten into a storm drain or something and, well, he was a bit "ooo-ey"- we'll leave it at that. Poor Rob, standing outside at almost midnight in a storm to hose the dog off in the dark. :( I wanted to help him, but was a "bit" sick and could not. :(

So, Samson goes first tonight. He wasn't too thrilled as you can see. But he's the absolute sweetest dog, and he took it pretty well.



Dexter, went under the deck when he saw Rob go for the hose, but when he realized it was Sammy's turn, well he came back out, got some undivided attention from us, and then just enjoyed this peach as if he hadn't a care in the world. He didn't look at Samson again or notice him, until Sammy was done and trying to follow Dexter around and shake off the water all over Dex. :)


Now it is Dexter's turn. He HATES bath time, but has quit fighting Rob over it. Barbara helped wash both the dogs this time.


Barbara went running when both the dogs tried to come give her some "attention" and shake off all over her. She hid behind the screen door and just stood there while they both watched her and waited for her to come back out. :)

I was going to post the "post bath" photos, but Blogger and I aren't getting along. Oh well, I've bored you enough with these dog pictures I'm sure.

Though I've been really sick this week, I'm feeling better today, and enjoyed a nice day at school, a nice meal (I picked out the recipe & Rob made white chili which was a first for us, and it was great!), and now a nice, quiet evening while the kids are at youth group. Rob and I are going to go burn some fossil fuel and money which we don't really have and just go for a ride, but I'm not driving. I'm ready to quit driving myself anywhere because I am just getting too stupid. Tomorrow is grocery day, plus lesson planning, preparing for my part of VBS (which isn't that much really), and hopefully I'll be feeling good, even better than today and I can be a "real human being" for a change.

P.S. What a beautiful night for a drive. We went out and found some country- NC country anyway. It was so pretty! We had to take the long way back because they closed the interstate back into G'boro, so it was even better! I heard frogs and crickets and locusts and all those creatures! We drove with the windows down, talked, listened to K-Love and sang and worshipped together. It was so nice! When we came home, the dogs came in to say "hi" to mom and get a treat. Here they are with Rob.

Robert Crashes

Robert had a bike crash today, thank God it didn't include a motorized vehicle!!!!!!!!!! Just in case you want to see the gross close-ups of his "boo-boos," well knock yourself out!

OUCH!!!!!!!!! That has to burn!

More road burn

Yeah, he banged up both legs too and has a knot on his shoulder where his shoulder blade took a hit to the curb!

So, our evening ends with Robert's version of "Thinking Man." He is thinking about how much this hurts & how "proud" he is of his first bike crash injuries (??? weird, I know, but the boy thinks Lance Armstrong and all those Tour guys are awesome!), and besides he has ADD! :)

Seriously, thanks God for keeping my boy safe and not letting this involve a car or letting him get run over while he was crashing/getting up & off the road. Please continue to keep my son safe while he's cycling out & about.

Happy 4th of July

First of all, I'm so happy to have taken my first fireworks photos successfully! They may not be the best, but I'm just thrilled to have gotten some at all!

Second, and most importantly, thank you God for freedom! Freedom to worship You and live for You without the fear of imprisonment, death, or any other punishments. Please help me to not take that for granted. Thank you for a country, though not without many faults, that allows its citizens freedom. Please help me to remember my brothers and sisters in other nations who do not have these same freedoms.

Third, thank You Father for the men and women who have served my country to give us these freedoms, who have served faithfully when their country called them, and who have given their lives either through death or through life-changing injuries for our nation and citizens.

I always think of my daddy on the 4th. Tonight I also thought of my cousin's husband, Phillip, who was severely injured in Afghanistan two years ago. Of his injuries and the pain he has been in. Of how his life must have been completely and totally changed as a result of his faithful service, and not just his life, but the lives of his wife and children and family. How many other soldiers' stories are like that, and how much are they appreciated? I know what I must do tonight before I go to sleep, thank that soldier and his family.

Thank you God!

Rob is too good to me

So this weekend was not the best I've ever had. I'll spare myself and anyone who might read this the details, but I was just not a happy camper. It did not help that I woke up on Sunday and shortly after that, while trying to get ready for church I got pretty sick and felt really LOUSY all day. Lousy, like "somebody just shoot me now" and "I thought this machine was supposed to be making me better and now I feel horrible again" kind of sick. Then to add injury to insult, my face is completely a mess from the mask I am wearing at night! I just felt sick, hideously ugly, exhausted and just plain awful!

I told Rob I wanted to go live in the mountains, seriously. If I could be a hermit I wouldn't have to deal with stress, people, anything I didn't want to. I know that's fairy-tale land and not reality, but I really do wish we could afford to live up there, find a nice, simple home with a beautiful view of the mountains or a lake or stream on the land. I know that wouldn't solve all my problems, but if I could escape to a beautiful, peaceful place I could just gaze at God's workmanship and feel more at peace.

Anyway, I'm rambling on. Rob had to work on Sunday, and he beat us home from church by a little bit. When I came home I was greeted by these photos:

This sign was hanging in the doorway to our living room.

Some very pretty roses- I have never seen an orange rose so pretty as these!

This was the sweetest thing. Rob had run to the store and bought brown craft paper to make "mountains" (he was even going to do some drawing to make it look more real) and put in the window, but somewhere along the way, in his hurry to get it done before I got home, he misplaced the roll of paper between Walmart, the van, and the house. So he ran downstairs and found this snowflake wrapping paper, and he made these "snowy mountains" and taped in both our windows.

I know it might seem simple, and even a bit goofy, but this simple act of his was truly one of the sweetest things Rob has ever done for me. It meant more to me than a card or anything else he could have done! I will cherish this memory forever! And, though it didn't make me feel physically or emotionally better or solve all my problems, it did lighten my load a great deal! He is way too good to me, and I truly don't deserve this. But, God, I'm so thankful for a loving husband!

Blah!

I'm just not very happy tonight. I just wish I had the money to move to the mountains and stay to myself.

My New Nighttime Pal

Okay, for Momma who asked me to take a picture, here you go. I'm no beauty I know, and the picture quality isn't too good, but you'll get the idea. For those who don't know it, I was diagnosed with OSA (obstructive sleep apnea), and this is a CPAP machine and mask to help me breathe all night long like a person is supposed to. CPAP stands for Constant Positive Airway Pressure.

Okay, now for the ugly part, here is me with my mask all strapped on. I'm learning how to adjust it and get used to it. I still have a red welt/bruise on my nose from the first night with it where I had it on way too tight.

Thanks Momma for praying for me and about the insurance issues we had with this. With God's help I'm going to really start feeling better very quickly; I already do feel better! :)

Well, good night all. Sweet dreams for you and hopefully for me.

Rebekah :)

donorschoose.org

I just made my first proposal (kind of like a mini-grant)! I'm waiting to hear from donorschoose and hopefully in a week or so my proposal will be up and taking donations!!! If it gets fully funded, I will be starting the homework backpacks I've thought of making for years but never had the money for! I've already started making my own materials to go with the ones I've asked for, and will be looking for more books & items I can find/make/buy to make more.

This is really neat! I may have taught for a long time now, but I'm still learning too. Cool!

----------------------------------UPDATE--------------------------------

My proposal was accepted, and is now "live!" YEAH! Click on the title to go see it! :)
Hands-On Homework Bags-I

I Am Scared But Trying Hard to Please You God

In just a few minutes I am leaving for the MRI test I have to go through to rule out some problem I may or, more likely, may not have. To say I don't want to go is an understatement of HUGE proportions!!!!!!!!

The dr. gave me the (at this point especially) much cherished "happy" pills, and I will be taking the first one shortly. I am just nervous, what if they don't help me relax, what if I am still quite aware of the machine's closeness to my big, massive, obese self, what if I can't stay still in the tube, what if it takes forever, what if I can't handle it, what if I get stuck (silly I know, but seriously)...

God,

I know I am so very undeserving of even asking any favors, and I so feel like I cannot ask You for anything for myself. I don't have that feeling when I pray for others, but don't like to pray for me. But, I also know You have taken care of me even when I couldn't see it, and I know You are with me now, even if I feel so very undeserving or if I don't understand Your plan. I also know that sometimes Your plan includes pain or suffering or hard times or hurt so that we can minister to another person in our journey. I'm ready for that, I want that, and I'm not afraid of a diagnosis, I just want to make it through this test and know what's up.

So Father, would You please calm my racing heart, my fears and insecurities? Would You walk with me through this test? Would You please stay beside me in the MRI machine where my husband can't go to comfort me and hold my hand? (I know it will be a tight fit with You and me both in there, :) but I know You're skinnier than me. :) Come on God, You know You are laughing at me, Your silly child!) Would You please help me not flip out from the fear of this extremely tight space? Would You just let me rest in You and, literally, rest and just sleep through it all? And most of all God, would You in Your wisdom and love please let there be an answer in this test, even if it is a disease or a label, Lord, I'd really, honestly, rather have that than a bunch of $ and tests and still no answer as to the problems I'm having. Because I know You can heal me of a disease or a name or You will help me live with it if that is what You want. Most of all, I just want to know what's causing me to feel so bad, You heal me of it or provide me with a way to live and deal with it, and hopefully I will let You shine through me in it all. Please God, let me get this one right. Let me please You.

With much love,
Your goofy child, Rebekah

Listening

I'm in a week long training for mentors, and today one of the trainers read us this piece on listening. It says a lot of what I feel sometimes about people I've confided in, friends, family, and I know it is something I need to remember when others are talking to me. So I hope that I have become and will continue to become a better listener. For those who might read this and know me, I apologize for times when I wasn't so good at listening to you.

On Listening (an excerpt by Ralph Roughton, M.D.)

When I ask you to listen and you start giving advice, you have not done what I have asked. When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings. When I ask you to listen and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, you have failed me, strange as it may seem.

Listen! All I asked was that you listen; not talk or do- just hear me. I can do for myself. I'm not helpless, maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless. When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and feeling of inadequacy. But when you accept as fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince you and can get about the business of understanding what's behind this irrational feeling. And when that's clear, the answers are obvious, and I don't need advice.

Our Graduate

Well, graduation was wonderful (mostly), and we were all so very, very proud of Robert!!! The day was busy but great (I didn't know my house would hold so many people), and I think he had a nice weekend with his family and youth group and friends. I would have posted photos sooner but didn't want to spend the time our family was here sitting on the computer, so I waited.

Robert played with the band for his last time. Here he is (far right) getting a picture with his band teacher, Mr. Butler, and the other senior band members.

My shot of him getting his handshake and diploma turned out lousy, but this one I like. He was walking back to his seat.

Robert, the new high school graduate!

My three kids!

:)

It still doesn't seem like it's real (that's how it's been everytime) but in about an hour, my momma, pop, and sister will pull into my driveway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I left work early a bit to get the kids and do last minute chores and such and finish my report cards. I'm going to go do the printing of those now so I can try to have that done before they get here! I'm so happy they're here, even though my head is spinning and I feel lousy. I need a momma right now to love on me and be here with me for graduation.

THANKS GOD for allowing them to be here!

This afternoon while wrapping up our day in class with my kinderkids, I realized that today was Robert's last day of high school. Bad mom me, I meant to make a big deal with him this morning and tell him mushy stuff and all that. (Robert's probably thinking, "Yeah, saved by the forgetful mom.") Originally I had thought Rob & I could get up way early and take him out for breakfast; yeah, that didn't happen either.

So I made sure I was there for him when school got out, and instead of breakfast I let him choose what kind of after school treat he wanted. We ended up at Starbucks later (after a few sidetracks- that's another Oprah!).

So, no more high school for Robert. He has grad practice on Thursday morning and a breakfast after and then he's done. Tomorrow he's going to my school to help and hang out. It will be his first day as an "official" volunteer- complete with signing in in the office and wearing a volunteer tag.

So begins the next stage of my motherhood- having an adult child. I can't think of a better way to start this leg of the road, and what an honor that Robert wants to spend his first day out of school with me at my work!!!! He'll never know how much this means to me!!!!!!!

Thanks God for, well, everything!

It's almost here

This time next weekend, I will be cleaning up from Robert's graduation party! I am sure I will be exhausted and quite happy. My momma and pop, and sister too, will be here. I will have seen my first child graduate from high school. I will have served home-made lasagna and all the other requisites of a lasagna dinner to 30-50 people.

It's going to be a BUSY week! Today we are busy getting the house ready, buying food for ourselves, for our company, and for the party, plus Matthew and I did our decorations shopping too. On Friday, I'm taking a personal day to visit with my family, get all that food ready to go, decorate, and somehow in all that, I'm going to try to squeeze in a quick trip to the strawberry patch to meet my class on their last field trip. (I sure hate to miss a field trip, but my kid and family are more important).

I still have to pick up and put away a bunch of school stuff that's been piling up, update and balance my checkbook, and pay all my bills too tonight. Plus, I've got all that assessment stuff to record, enter online, document.... and report cards to do this week too. (Yeah, and think, I only teach K!) My list of things that have to get done in this week at work is overwhelming too, and I know I am going to have to make some choices this week about what I can and can't do. I'm learning that I just can't do everything that I want to, and though I hate not being the best and perfect at what I do, I'm slowly learning to accept that I can't be perfect, just the best I can be. OH MY GOODNESS!!! I do not know how I will ever get it all done, so I better get going. I still have a second job which hasn't been getting any hours from me either. YIKES!!!!!!!! I'm just not as good at that as Rob is, but that's another thing I've learned to accept- I cannot be as good as Rob or my mom in many things no matter how hard I try. I am not trying too hard anymore, just learning to be me.

Okay, I'm leaving this rambling thought process now as I have to get going on this list of things.

Graduation is coming! Graduation is coming! Graduation is coming!!!

Senior Awards Night

Getting ready to go- "Is this tie too long?

My handsome soon-to-be-high-school-graduate

Robert and Miss Junior Marshall (yeah, she's only a LITTLE excited about this!)

Graduation is almost here! I better go buy a BIG box of tissue!!!!!!!!!!!

Lovely Lambs Ear

Barbara says I have a love affair with this plant, but I do really love it. It is up there on my list of favorites. Its leaves are SO SO SO soft!!!! I had planted three last year, and this year they're blooming!!! I didn't even know they bloomed!!!!!!! I think they are so pretty, and I do love them! Here are some shots of my lambs ear from near the carport. I bought several more to put in the backyard this spring, so next year the backyard should be full of them too!!!

Very tiny blooms up close

Can you see how soft they are from this photo? OOOOhhhh!!!!

Another Day to Remember for Barbara

Today Barbara was inducted into the National Honor Society! Rob & I were both able to leave work early enough to be there for her. I teasingly told her that if she was honored for anything else I didn't care- I wasn't leaving work. :) :) :) She did have an awards program this morning, but I couldn't do both.

Here are some photos of both of my NHS students! I love my kids, and I am so proud of them!!!

And with Ms. Weinkle, one of their teachers and the NHS advisor.