Silly Story

Rob is in training with some of his new coworkers at his new school. He came home today with a funny, and I asked him if I could use it here. It just cracks me up!!!! One of these teachers was talking about his two young children- a year apart- aged 2 & 1. The guy said his kids' names are "More" and "No More." HA HA HA Rob told him we had our kids close like that and told them their current ages- 19, 18, and almost 17. The guy asked Rob, "So what are their names, "More, "No More," and "Oops?" :) Rob replied, they were named, "More," "What?!?," and "WOW!!!" Totally cracked me up. See I got pregnant with two very unexpected (shhh, I was even on the pill both times when I showed up prego.) We had our three kids while both going to college and working (Rob trying to do both full time for a while). We aren't your poster people for how to have a family & be well-off, but you know what? We made it, we did it, we graduated, God blessed us with jobs, we are good teachers, and best of all, we have GREAT WONDERFUL AWESOME Christ-serving young men & woman for kids!!!!

So, anywhooo, I Photoshopped a photo from last year and played with it to put their "new" names on it. So without any further ado, introducing our children- More, What?!?, and WOW!!!

giggly goofy girl o' mine!

I love my daughter!!!!! She can be soooo much fun (she can also be not soooo much fun at times too, but mostly she's just a bundle of joy!). Tonight we sat in the baseball field parking lot at Matthew's school. We were waiting for Matthew's soccer practice to end. He has two-a-days this week- 7-8 AM & 6-8 PM. Instead of driving the 30 minutes back home to just turn around and come back we just sat there, watched Mateo, and laughed and laughed and laughed and giggled and giggled and giggled and all that......

I had sooo much fun with her. She truly is a joy to me, a bright spot in my days, a blessing from my heavenly Father.

Thank You God for my beautiful, joyful, daughter- my giggly, goofy girl o' mine!

Cursed or Blessed?- Jeremiah 17: 5-8

Someday, I'm going to take photography classes and travel around taking beautiful photos. Someday. :)

For today, I'm going to find photos for my Bible study reflection. I am reading Jeremiah. Have no clue why except that I felt God speak that one single word in my brain this spring when I was thinking to myself "What am I going to read when I finish the gospels?" Soooo, now I am reading Jeremiah. Momma told me while I was home that he was called "the weeping prophet." Hmmmm, it made me feel better when she told me that after I shared some things with her. Not that I am in any category up there with Jeremiah, by no means! So anywhooooo.

Today I read this passage- heard it a billion times in church all my life. Sermons, bible studies, songs. But it really stood out the comparison that is being made here and not just the righteous part, but the comparison. WOW.

Jeremiah 17: 5 & 6

"Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord. He is like a shrub in the desert and shall not see any good come. He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness in an uninhabited salt land."

YIKES! So in Rebekah-ese, this says to me, if I trust in others (my family, my coworkers, my pastor or fellow church goers, my neighbor, my president....) and trust in man's strength, wisdom, or intentions it causes my heart to turn away from God. Like a street- I can look left to man or right to God, but can't look both ways at the same time. If I do that,I am CURSED. Then I am a dried up piece of plant/vine/shrub and nothing good will come my way. I will live in a dry, dusty, and lonely, deserted place where nothing good comes, no one goes, and nothing survives.

So, Rebekah- Don't trust in man. Reminds me of that verse in the New Testament where Jesus said a servant cannot serve two masters- either he hates the one and loves the other or vice versa....

Jeremiah 17: 7 & 8

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream and does not fear when heat comes for its leaves remain green and is not anxious in the year of drought for it does not cease to bear fruit."


my version- If I trust in God, I am BLESSED. I am like a tree whose roots never thirst because they are tapped into a reliable, constant fresh stream of water that never dries up or goes away. If I have that constant source of living water then my leaves won't wilt even in hot weather and I can keep on producing good fruit because my life won't be determined by the circumstances around me but by the source of water I have.

So, God I think I hit a bit of a dry spell this past year in some ways, but I felt close to You and think I grew in understanding a lot. But, did I please You? Did I keep green leaves and produce fruit in Your book? Herein is my big problem- I worry waaaayyy too much about what others think of me, are they pleased or angry or upset or hurt with me. Did I let someone down or fail to be every single wonderful thing I could possibly ever be to each and every person in my life?

I could sit here and think about what this coworker thought about me last year or what someone at church has said or if my husband/kids/momma/pop/sister approve of the things I said and did, BUT God you're the only one whose opinion really matters. If I trust in even my hubby's or momma's opinion than I'm trusting in man and am cursed. WOW! I get it God. I have to quit worrying about what man says/thinks/feels about me and trust in You alone. I had the right idea when I said all year, "At the end of the day all that matters is did I please God today..." but my heart still worried about this one or that one....

Please Father, help me to trust in You alone, to strive to please You alone, to care about Your opinion alone. Please help me to be that tree by the water that is thriving and producing such wonderful fruit for You. I don't want to be in the desert alone and thirsty and dying.

just an observation

i think it's kind of amusing when people tell others what "they" should do and then turn around and do the very opposite of what they're asking/expecting/requiring of you.

a beautiful day

Momma & Pop celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary last weekend. They had a simple, elegant, and beautiful ceremony and reception with some of their family and friends. It was very nice.

So Many Emotions, So Little Time

Tomorrow is a big day at the Lane house. Momma & Pop will renew their wedding vows as they celebrate 25 years of marriage. They will leave for a short 2nd honeymoon. Then I will go back home to NC with the rest of my family.

Today was a wonderful day. Momma, Jessica, and I spent time together; we got a pedicure, my first time ever! I have coral toes now; my feet don't know what to think of that! :) We went shopping for things for tomorrow's ceremony. I bought a bunch of books and a couple gifts for people and a game for my kids to play. We helped decorate the church tonight.

So many things to do tonight and tomorrow before we all part company again for only God knows how long this time. So many, many emotions I am feeling today. I wish Rob were here with me.

Momma really scared me today. I know she'll maybe eventually read this and figure it out - shoot, Momma already knew it. But we almost ended up calling 911 or driving her to the ER, and then she tells us later that she thought maybe she was dying. I'm still a little concerned about her, but won't tell her. :)

I am happy for my parents. Pop was a blessing to us all. I am thrilled for Momma; Pop has been a good husband to her and she, a good wife to him. My daddy would not have wanted Momma to be alone for the rest of her life. I am missing my daddy though- a lot-more than I have in a long time. I am missing the family of my daddy that I never got to really know. I am missing my uncle and the one grandpa who was really a true grandpa and loved me through my life. I am missing my family back home and so not wanting to say goodbye to my family here again. I will miss the corn, the Mississippi, the wide open land (comparatively speaking of course). I will miss my friends. I will miss thunderstorms (real ones) and the beautiful wild prairie flowers and grasses that grow on the roadsides here and in small restored prairie plots.

God, I know you are in control of all our lives. Please help me make it through these topsy-turvy emotions and the big day tomorrow. Please help me not to cry tomorrow. And Father, I know I have to do Your will and teach far from my "home" and those I love most dearly, but if You could, please God, could we come home again soon? I need my family and these few friends I have here in the Midwest. I need them, God. I'll trust You as best I can, and I give myself to You most willingly 'cuz I know You know what's best for us all.

Your Rebekah :)

Such as These- Matthew's 1st Time

Today it was Matthew's turn. I was so proud of him. I cried most of the way home from church.

My kids are used to Rob and I stopping to get a homeless person a meal, talking to them, taking them food from home, me crying after doing any of those things.... Today, Matthew, Barbara & I stopped at Sheetz near our church to get something to eat on our way home. There was a man, Lacy (?spelling?) standing at that nearest corner, a short walk away, with his sign. I don't know what his sign said, but I can guess as they are often the same message.

Matthew and Barbara went in to get something for us. I told Matthew to get a $5 gift card while he was in there for that man. No big deal- they're used to this from their mom. Happens often enough. He knew what was going to happen next. Or so he thought, and so did I. But God took this a whole new direction. For some reason :) when Matthew got in, I said "I'm going to ask you to do something out of your comfort zone, okay?" He agreed and then I told him to go walk over there and give that man the gift card. I told him that God will give us words to speak, but that if he didn't feel impressed to say something from God, then to just tell the man that our family wanted him to have lunch, that it wasn't much, but it would at least get him a meal. I watched from my car (keeping an eye out for my kid, I'm naive, but not totally). I saw my youngest child, my most painfully bashful child, my miracle baby that God used to show His healing power, my Matthew go over and have a long conversation with the man. Saw him point to the car several times, saw the man looking our way, saw my son bow his head in prayer, talk to the man some more, then offer that stranger his hand and walk away. By the time he got to the car, there were big tears in his eyes. He got in and said, "Mom, that was different." His voice was shaky but he had a BIG grin on his face. I just thought he meant that it was new for him or the conversation had been weird or something, but then I asked him to tell me what he said and how the conversation went. As he talked, he kept those tears in his eyes, and wouldn't you know it- God had given that young man of ours (Gods & mine) His words to speak to the man, and Matthew was obedient to God. I was soooo very proud of him. He said he asked Lacy if he could pray, and the man said, "Could you now?" and my shy, self-conscious Matthew bowed his head and prayed for this man.

Then, Matthew said that Lacy told him he'd be praying for us. This is so humbling and overpowering to me. This man says he'll pray for me??? WOW! He, without anything of his own wants to pray for me, who has a home, food, family, love, support, a job, blessings I can't even begin to count. Why? I am already blessed, and I'm SOOOOOOOOOOO UNDESERVING of that. I know he may not have really meant it, he may not even do it, but still the thought that he would pray for me just blows my mind!

The same thing happens to me each time I give someone a meal and they tell me, "God bless you." And this happens to me a lot. Here are people who have nothing- no home, no warm, dry place to stay, no family to share their lives with, nothing but the clothes on their back. They are usually pretty dirty and often smelly. And they want God to bless me???? It always blows me away the same way when someone tells me that. I just can't fathom it.

But here's what I will say for sure. God bless these people we've crossed paths with whose names I'm listing on the side of this blog as my reminder. You know where they are at tonight and each day & night that passes. You love them and want to bless them too. Send them Your love each day. Let each of them have a divine appointment with someone each day who will not only give them some money, but who will provide them a meal and a smile and take time to ask their name or shake their hand so they know they are valued and worth something. Everybody needs to be loved and know they are valuable to someone and needed by someone. Everybody!

God, do bless me and our family, but not so I can have a bigger home someday, more clothes in my closet, fancier food in my pantry, more/bigger/better toys. God bless me so I can give more people more meals, so I can bless others who need You and a warm meal or a pair of gloves on a snowy day, or a hat to keep the sun off their face. Help me to help others even more than I do now.

And thanks God for speaking to my child's heart, for giving him the courage to do that today, for giving him the words to say, for letting him hear Your voice and know it was you. What a wonderful experience, and I'm so honored to have been part of that today. I may not measure up to some standards held up by others, but I know I pleased you today when I helped my child take care of one of the least of these.

Gratefully yours,
Rebekah :)

this is the part where i stop to be thankful and then maybe, perhaps a bit creative???

I'm feeling yucky- sinus crud again.

I'm very hurt and disappointed with myself and with others.

I need to take a moment (or more) to be thankful.

Thank You Father for Your unending love. I don't know why You love me but You do. For that I will ever be grateful.

Thank You Father for a family's love. They also put up with me when I'm not worth the time. I cannot say how much this means to me or how appreciative of this I am. I see so many who do not have this love and support, and I am reminded often through work, through seeing or talking to a homeless person just how big a gift this is.

Thank You Father for three wonderful children, for a good husband, for parents, a sister and brother (Scott, I'm claiming you- sorry you don't get off that easy!), for my mother-in-law too, for Regina and my other cousins with whom I can give and get love and share good memories, encourage and get encouragement.

Thank You Father for memories that, yes sometimes are hard and cause pain but also bring warm remembrances of joy, laughter, love, acceptance. I cherish those memories with cousins playing in the yard, aunts and uncles who loved me, catching lightning bugs, playing in the woods or in the creek, riding my bike up and down the street, climbing trees, going fishing, taking trips to Arkansas, watching an evergreen tree grow in the yard each year, playing games, talking, and so many many more.

Thank You Father for all your provision- food, clothes, a warm place in the winter & cool place in the summer's heat, a car, a job, lives to love and touch for You.

Thank You for the beauty of the world You created- the rolling land of the plains where a person can see for miles, acres of corn fields, a storm building in the sky and the beauty of a storm, the wind to cool us, snow falling quietly and gently at midnight, the wonder of the ocean and its power and sound and awesome power, the majesty & the beauty of the mountains. You created all these and they each in their own way point to You and Your characteristics, who You are and Your great love. Thank You.

Father, I "follow" a few people and their prayer needs via blogs, and I've met a few of the "least of these" who don't even have a home let alone a blog. Let me remember them tonight. Will You remember them tonight and meet their needs? Theirs are so much more than my petty hurts and worries. They need You so much right now. I do too Father, but don't let me get so burdened down with myself that I forget You.

Please be with:
Keith in the Quad Cities
Pop's Keith
Some kids I know whose first initial I'll use here. You know who they are (F, S, D, Z, "D," O & S)
Michael
Odell
Chris
Tanya
Kate
Stellan
Summer
Noah
Tara and her children
Bonnie and her children

Thanks God for everything. I'm so undeserving and so very grateful.

Now I'll get back to my feeble attempt at being creative. :)

Kittens

The kittens have sure grown this past month. They were five weeks old last Friday! Just a few more weeks until we have to let them go. Praying we can find homes for them all. We had one person come by to take a look at the litter the other day and pick one out so that's great! She spent a while here playing with the kittens, watching them, talking to them, so I'm sure that our little guy will be in a great home!
This was just last week when they started venturing out of the laundry room to explore a little. It always seems there's one that stays in the box; they take turns but we often find four out and about and one sleeping away in the box. :)

Our dog, Samson (also called Sam or Sammy) LOVES LOVES LOVES the kittens! He watches them, gives them baths, plays with them, snuggles with them, sits with them.... The kittens will follow him around the house too, which is just adorable! In this photo, Sam had gone out for his bedtime bathroom break and first thing he did when he came in was come in to "check" on the kittens. He climbed in the box and bathed them all before going to lay down. He's just a sweetheart of a dog!

Barbara is definitely a cat person!

Here is our cat, Cinnamon, the "daddy" of the litter. He has been pretty timid and stayed away from the kittens in these past few weeks, but all the sudden this week, he's decided to play a little and help give them baths. The kittens LOVE his tail- an automatic play toy.

I call this kitten Tigger. It has more distinct striping than the other cats and is more orange too. It is the most curious and brave of the litter and will venture out further than the rest of the gang. It also likes to climb and explore- here it is with Rob's slipper, which for some reason she finds fascinating.

July 4th Fun

This is a picture heavy post as I just got my computer back! :) The photos are in backwards order of the day's events.

I proposed for the 4th of July that we all go out for a picnic together for lunch since Rob, Robert, & Barbara would all have to work that afternoon/evening and we couldn't all be together that evening. So we picked up some Subway and took off. We went to the Revolutionary war site here in Guilford County (Guilford Courthouse National Military Park) and found a place without any people to throw our blanket and eat- which was a major feat as it was PACKED!

We were our usual silly selves, wise-cracking, making faces, taking silly photos, laughing at ourselves and each other. It was nice. I sat and thought about the soldiers that fought on the very ground we might be sitting on or near and the sacrifices the people of that time made. Now 200+ years later, here we sit enjoying such lavish freedoms because of them and so many others who have given up so much. God help me not to take it for granted, ever!

We ended up watching some reenactors demonstrating how the cannons of that era were fired off. Pretty neat!

That evening was Matthew & I at home while the rest of the family worked at the ballpark and restaurant. Matthew grilled us some hamburgers and made us a delicious salad and we had berries & apples too! YUMMY! Robert got off early (WOW!) for a change and we were able to watch two fireworks shows from the car before heading home to light off some little firecrackers Matthew & I bought for him.

Barbara's New Do

Someone wanted to die her hair- for a looooong time now. I finally decided to let her since she is 18, she is a high school graduate, she is a wonderful daughter........ I mean it's not like it's weird body piercings or large tattoos or something totally weird or rebellious. :) And she is 18 and still asking her parents after all.

So without further ado- here is Barbara's new hair (I was surprised at how it turned out- not bad & I think she looks pretty good with black hair). She sure is a beautiful young lady- no matter the hair color- well maybe not if it was purple or orange, I don't know :) !!!

Urgent Prayer Request

Please pray for this little girl, Kate McRae. She is a five year old little girl who went to the dr. having tremors in one hand. They found a massive, aggressive, terrible brain tumor. It is very bad. I don't know this family at all, but I know they need our prayers.



Here is the family's webpage.



Thanks!

Rebekah

Let Summer Begin- at last :)

Don't know much really, just wanted to say hello. :)

I finished my summer school session yesterday afternoon. YEAH!!!! I came home and watched "Sense & Sensibility" with Barbara in my room and took a little nap. Went for a drive with my hubby. Played Uno on Facebook. Rob cooked supper for us all & it was yummy. A very nice, lazy evening.

God knows what we need, and Jenny (one of Robert's youth leaders) invited Barbara & I out to lunch, so today we're headed to Moe's for lunch. THANK YOU GOD and thank you Jenny! I'll probably try to get groceries and pay as many of the bills as I can. (Man, I need my computer back where I keep my budget!!! I didn't have a chance to back it up before it crashed. :( ) I hope it gets back soon. I also want to post pictures of the kittens. They are SOOOOOO adorable!!! We've got to find them all homes in the next month.

Happy 4th of July to anyone out there. It will be quiet weekend here. Rob, Robert, and Barbara all have to work. Matthew is sick, but if he feels better I think he & I will drive downtown to see the ballpark's fireworks tomorrow night. Rob and I are sending the kids to church with Robert this Sunday, and we'll be doing something else church-wise, don't know what yet.

Thus begins my summer vacation. Whew, I made it. I survived one of the more stressful school years of my life (not my students, I want to add, just scrambling to figure out how to change what I was doing to do a combo class, a big work load, loneliness and isolation, health issues, parenting my own three plus one, and juggling an 5-6 insanely crazy schedules filled with the kids' sports & work, one in college, three in high school, Rob's 3-4 jobs and my own...) I did survive and hopefully accomplish a lot with my Father's help. Thanks God for helping me to do it, to make it to the end and still be alive to tell the tale. ;)

Happy 4th all!

forgiveness

I'm working hard on this right now.

I find forgiveness a doozy. You know this might surprise some people, but the part of forgiveness that I have the most difficulty with is forgiving myself. I just can't seem to cut myself any slack and when I do then I tell myself I'm just making excuses which is unacceptable. I can't win for losing with myself.

I battle with this almost daily- sometimes multiple times in a day. I cannot stand my failings, my imperfections, my "not measuring up" to some standard. I cannot stand the thought that I failed someone or let someone down, especially my family or coworkers, and most of all God.

And, I know it's all about His mercy, that none of us measure up, that we all miss the mark and need His grace and forgiveness, that is why Jesus came & died. I know those things to be true, but there is this part in my brain that just can't seem to stop it.

I know, I'm mental. Wish there was a cure for me and my stupid self. :) There is, it's called Heaven, and maybe someday I'll actually get there and be fixed at last.

Missing My Family

Soon my two youngest will be home from their youth group trip. I am sitting here by the door eagerly awaiting their return. Rob and Robert are at their jobs and won't be home for a while yet.

I listen to people talk at work, at church, see how people get together and talk about what they do on Facebook.... I realize that really all I have is God and my family. I'm lonely and will be so glad when the ones dearest to me are back.

I don't know what I'll do when my kids are gone. I obviously have sunk all my time and attention into my kids, my hubby, my marriage, my work- I don't have any real friends to do things with it would seem. I guess I'm going to get to spend a lot of time with my best friend, Rob. Hope he can stand a long time with me and the big itinerary I'm going to have to plan. :)

the short bus

my sister brought me a book to read when she was here for B's graduation- The Short Bus. i thought it would be interesting, and i was curious to read it as i'm always joking about how i'm "special" or how i ride the short bus to school still, and my personal favorite is that when it's my time to go, God will be sending the short bus to heaven for me, that He even has an IEP written for me... i truthfully don't feel "normal" in any way- not as a teacher, not as a mom, not as a human, and certainly not as a Christ-follower- and i truly believe that there are some things that are not quite right in my head. now don't take me the wrong way, i'm actually growing in my being okay with that, it's just part of who i am now, and i think it actually makes me a better teacher and maybe, hopefully a better person if i don't have a big head about myself.

well, i just finished reading the book a few minutes ago. this book was very interesting for me to read as a teacher and was definitely thought provoking. this book, once again reminded me of the influence schools have and the power (for good or evil) teachers have in a child's life. it's amazing, the power of the words and actions teachers have over a student's life and future outcome. i am not sure that all of us teachers really understand and realize how powerful we can be. i work hard to instill only positive into the lives of the children i teach no matter how they are labeled or not. i hope that i continue to view each of my children as special (but not in that put-down kind of way) as i think we are all special in some way or another and that i never just see a child's problem, label, disability, or condition and stop there. i think each of us have our strengths and yes, weaknesses. everyone has something they are particularly good at, love to do more than anything, excel in and something else we are not so hot at, loathe, can't understand, or are disabled in/at...

when i was a young student, i was better at reading and spelling, but horrible at math and handwriting especially. i remember spending most of 2nd grade inside at recess time doing math, looking up words in the dictionary, or practicing the formation of my cursive letters. my teacher made me write those stupid letters over and over and over. i don't know if i told my parents how much i missed recess or not- i remember being embarrassed and feeling dumb and hating my teacher. i know i was also being stubborn about some things too, but that "dumb" feeling followed me for years, and it wasn't until 8th grade that i truly began to "get it" that i was actually pretty smart.

the key for me, as a teacher, is to help kids find their strengths, maximize them, develop them, nurture them and use them and to help them to grow as a human being, learn "tricks" or strategies to help them in those areas where they are weaker or struggle, to encourage them to not let the individual disabilities we each have in some area or other to hold them back from anything in life.

there was this thought in the book that i just can't get out of my mind.

"Maybe the human experience is like a split tree trunk, the tree incorporating a moment of violence and trauma and growing around it. We all have damaged selves in some way, and the question is: Do you put yourself back together holding on to that flickering image of the ideal self, or do you let that go and see yourself for what you are- damaged, with other parts of stronger for it? I don't think we can ever be anything other than imperfect shadows of some impossible ideal."

from The Short Bus by Jonathan Mooney:

well, i agree with that idea sooooo much. i think that picture makes sense in my life. events happened in my life. they "damaged" me in ways that will never heal. i am, in fact, "special." but perhaps, just maybe, i grew around that pain and became a different person, maybe even a better person for it. maybe, rebekah rose thomas, i should quit putting myself down and embrace who i am, a very imperfect person, an obese and ugly lady, but a child of God, and one with a lot of love to give, a lot of joy to pour into the lives of children and adults, someone who can laugh at herself and take herself lightly enough to not get big-headed, someone who wants to help others. maybe, just maybe i am a better person than i would have ever been had that "damage" not happened.

and as for that last line, whether the author knows it or not, it is SOOOO true- we can never be anything other than an imperfect being trying to reach the ultimate goal of Christ's perfect ideal. only upon the final arrival will i ever be perfect, and i need to quit beating the crap out of myself mentally, emotionally, and in any other way when i fail to be perfect.

yeah, i liked this book. a lot!

New Donors Choose Projects Went Live Last Night!

I'm so excited that my new projects went "live" last night on Donors Choose, and Rob has two new ones for his new school too.

If you know of anyone who would be interested and willing to give a little to a great group of children, and their somewhat silly, but utterly devoted teachers- would you please pass our sites on? Anyone can give any amount- even $1. The great thing about Rob's grants is that the Gates Foundation is covering half of each of his if he can get donors for the other half. If funded, he can get a laptop computer for his students to use in the classroom for research, project presentations and such for just over $300, and an LCD projector to use in class also for just over $300!!!! That's AWESOME!!!! He will be teaching at an alternative middle school in the underprivileged part of the city, so these tools will be a big help and give his kids access to technology they might not otherwise have.

I broke up my bigger grant ideas into smaller ones so they'd have a better chance of getting funded. I often help partially fund my coworkers and some of Rob's and my own, but I can't do it all alone, especially with paycuts.

And, even more importantly, if you pray, would you send up a prayer or two that these projects will get funded for next year! That would be the best thing you can do!

Thanks so much!

Rebekah :)

Rob's projects:
Put It On the Wall- http://www.donorschoose.org/donors/proposal.html?id=288165&verify=-2138368187&zone=0 (an LCD projector)
Bringing Technology To the Past & the Classroom- (a classroom laptop computer) http://www.donorschoose.org/donors/proposal.html?id=287639&verify=1054880055&zone=0

My projects:
Science is Amazing!- http://www.donorschoose.org/donors/proposal.html?id=288728 (science materials)
Read, Play & Learn- http://www.donorschoose.org/donors/proposal.html?id=288681 (puppet theater and puppets to go with literature I use in class)
Give Us an Ear- http://www.donorschoose.org/donors/proposal.html?id=288692 (a wheeled station for my tape player & headphones and books/tapes)
Life is Beautiful- http://www.donorschoose.org/donors/proposal.html?id=288721 (an incubator and butterfly kit to teach children about how animals grow, change, hatch and about the beauty and fragility of life)
Positively Puzzling- http://www.donorschoose.org/donors/proposal.html?id=288701 (a puzzle station)
Read, Play, & Learn Some More- http://www.donorschoose.org/donors/proposal.html?id=288696 (more puppets to go with classroom literature)
We Love Puzzles- http://www.donorschoose.org/donors/proposal.html?id=288704 (more puzzles)

Fathers' Day

Happy Fathers' Day must be said today to the fathers in my life:

God-
Happy Fathers' Day God! As I grow up more, I am learning more and more to put You first and keep You first. I know I fail at this a lot, but You constantly amaze me with your perfect love and unending patience with me and all humanity. Thank You for being a father that never leaves us, that never fails us, who never gives up on His children or throws in the towel and walks away. Thank You for the example You leave us in Your short life on earth, in Your scripture, and in the way You just love us so simply and yet extravagantly. Without Your fatherly love and perfect example, how would any of us ever learn to love too? I know it's just an earthly day that we've set aside to celebrate fathers, but I want to celebrate You too if that's okay. I can't express my love to the fathers in my life and not remember the most important father of all- You! Happy Fathers' Day, God! I love You and want to please You more than anything in the world!

Rob-
Twenty-two years ago on Fathers' Day Rob and I met at church. And then we dated, fell in love, married, and well, the rest as they say "is history." Though, I know he won't read this, Rob, you are a wonderful dad. Thank you for our family and the life we have lived together for almost 21 years. There are many things I would love to "undo" in my life, but marrying you and having the family we have would never be one of them!!!!

Pop-
Pop, like Rob, won't read this, but thank you Pop for taking Momma and Jessica and me into your hearts, for loving me when I didn't want to be, for sticking through the "uglies" with me and being my father. Thank you for being a dad to my husband too and for being the only grandfather (and a darn good one at that!!!) my kids would ever know. PaPa is such a wonderful word in our home because of you!!!!

Daddy-
Happy Fathers' Day to a daddy in heaven too. You will always be loved and missed. I hope, somehow, you can see down on us from time to time and see how we turned out and that it brings a smile to your face, joy to your heart, and laughter into your day up there!

With all my love,
Rebekah :)

Lonely

I want to write, for myself only, that I am feeling a little lonely- outside of my family. I know that to sit and dwell on it would be a pity-party, and I so don't want to do that. But I also need to say it to myself and quit denying it, because that won't make it go away either. I am so very grateful for God's unending love; without Him, I don't have a clue where I'd be or what kind of person I'd be. I am sure it wouldn't be good!!!

I am so very in love with and thankful for my family. Without them I would be a miserable person and utterly lonely. It's just that I look around and listen and see all the people at work who hang out together, go out for drinks or clubbing or eat out together or who have young kids and socialize together.... then I think I have friends at church, but I really don't. I know I could confide in several ladies at church if I needed to, but a true friend- no. No one needs me as their friend or wants to confide in me or needs me to support them. I have tried when I could or knew of a need. Some of them have told me how important our family is.... blah, blah, blah- but it just isn't true. If I dropped off the face of the earth, no one there would really notice. They'd miss Rob and his guitar playing in the band; they might miss the nursery workers that Barbara & I are (but that would be replaced)...

I don't know if it is something I do wrong, or if I just put people off or what. I remember what my momma said about "be a friend to have a friend." Well, I want to be a friend so bad- I try, I really do. I have a strong need to be needed by others- probably why I am good with the kinds of kids I work with. I will just keep trying and reaching out; it just hurts when you look around and see other couples who do things together, and you have no one who wants to be your friend or have your company.

Then I remember my parents, my husband and children, and most important of all God. As long as I please God, do my job to His satisfaction, continue to be a parent who points her children to God, am a good wife to my husband and a daughter to my parents, nothing else really, truly matters to me. I just am lonely and wish I had a friend here in NC is all.

It'll be better tomorrow I know, or the next day. I hope I don't sound whiny to anyone who might read this. I just needed to get this off my chest, as it were.