honesty

"Honesty is such a lonely word. Everyone is so untrue. Honesty is hardly ever heard. And mostly what I need from you. I can always find someone to say they sympathize. If I wear my heart out on my sleeve. But I don't want some pretty face to tell me pretty lies. All I want is someone to believe." Billy Joel

I'm truly, honestly very discouraged tonight. That's me being honest.

One Week Later...

Matthew's leg & foot one week after surgery. We are so thankful to God that the dr. was able to do all the work he needed to do without having to open up the other side too, which he originally thought he was going to have to do. I can't imagine having this on both sides of the leg.

Matthew's week

Grrr... I'm so mad at my computer!!! It just "ate" all these photos I've taken. I had a bunch, and they're gone to somewhere. I was viewing them on the computer as they uploaded and when I went to edit them, the whole batch is gone. Grrr..

Oh well, these are a few of what's left to show how Matthew's week has gone so far. Went to the dr. today for a checkup. I want to warn you, if you're the type who doesn't like icky stuff- blood, wounds, etc. don't look down at the bottom. I am putting a closeup of his incision site and injured area there. It's pretty icky looking still.

a lot of napping :)

the youth group came over to see Matthew after he got home from the hospital on Sunday- this means soooo much to us!!!!

playing on mom's computer and doing homework (which is what he's actually, really doing here)

Matthew's incision site and wounded area as it looked today at his checkup after they took off the plaster cast and cotton protective stuff... the whole area is swollen and red, blue, purple. i told him he looks like Frankenstein now :)

heading home

as soon as some more meds drip in through the iv we are going home. i'm still a little concerned because of some minor complications, but i'm being reassured this is all normal and we'll be fine. so home we go, and somehow i've got to figure out how to be super-mommy/teacher and be at home with my child and at school with my children at the same time. yeah, i wish. :)

okay, it's official, i don't like this at all

it's 3:45 a.m. i couldn't get to sleep, and finally at 1:00 i thought i had to try a little harder, gave myself a lecture, put on some music on my computer way down low and tried really hard to get comfortable on this hard cushioned bed/thingy in the room. i dozed very little and laid there pretty uncomfortable mostly, getting up to help my baby :) when he needed something. about 45 minutes ago, he got very sick and almost passed out on me in the bathroom. i called the nurse for help, and when she got there she had to use smelling salts a couple times to revive him and took some vitals, and called for the rapid response team for assistance. talk about SCARED TO DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm trying not to let it show, but i'm really not liking this.



not. at. all.

Father, I know he really is Your child, and I only get to have a short time with him. I know You already know all this, but our baby needs Your healing and help. And, if You can spare it, I need a little rest tomorrow- when it's all over. :) I know You love us, and I'm so very, very thankful.

a post entitled "not how i had planned my weekend to be..."

update for our family- i cannot access my home email, facebook (BUMMER) or twitter here at the hospital (but i can get my work email- go figure!) we are back in our room on the peds floor. there is some pain and grogginess, but all things considered we're doing pretty good. our youth leaders, dai & jenny brought up mcdonald's and we're eating fries and drinking a sprite. :) i get to stay up here tonight too- boy have hospitals changed!!! we should go home tomorrow. thanks for all the prayers!

this weekend is definitely not going as planned. i brought home a big TUB of work to do- lesson plans for two weeks, getting my students files labeled and paperwork sorted out, doing some curriculum mapping for myself to put the K & 1st stuff together and mapping out where i am going to head this year, cutting out a bunch of feltboard sets i received from donors choose. i need to get a lot done this weekend as my grad classes begin this monday! YIKES!!!

instead i am sitting in the hospital awaiting my child's surgery- a surgery that was not in our plans for this weekend. oh well, life is still very, very good. thank God for insurance (even when it is more expensive & benefits cut) because without it i don't know what we'd be doing right now. thank God for jobs to pay the bills we'll now have. thank God for family that prays for us. thank God for three youth leaders that have surrounded my family with love in the almost two years we've now known them, but especially has come around us this summer in the midst of other junk to shower us with His love and their love and their support.

thank you God for being with us in it all- even when the weekend goes a direction i didn't plan. now to get back to picking on my kid. :) i LOVE being a mom!

Matthew's new haircut

Matthew started his new school year today. He wanted his friends to see him with his longer hair and his facial hair "goatee thingy" (my Barbara Rose word for it). :) So he came home today and gave himself his first military haircut since he is now a member of JROTC!

Here he is before the deed. :)

Look at all that hair!

Ta-da, here he is!!!

God blesses us even when we don't deserve it

In the midst of a little storm this week, God still shows me He loves me. I don't understand Him or His crazy love, but I am so thankful for it.

I woke up this morning to an email that another of my donorschoose projects was funded. This makes four of 8 that were funded so far this summer! :) I have four more live projects up right now, and now have more points earned to write more grants when I have some time. Each time we submit a proposal it costs us points, but we can earn points back by confirming our funding promptly, by writing a thank you note immediately, and then by completing the thank you package with student letters and photos. So for every project we get funded and complete the requirements we spend 1 point but earn 3. So far in the one year I have been a donorschoose teacher, I have had 7 projects fully funded & only two partially or not funded. I just added those projects up and it totals over $1900 that has been given to my class by friends, family, myself, a wonderful volunteer of ours, and total & complete strangers from NY to WA and all over the nation!

This is one of the four remaining projects left that I am hoping will get funded. I prayed all summer that God would bless me with full funding for them all. I'm half way there thanks to God sending me some generous donors!

http://www.donorschoose.org/donors/proposal.html?id=288704 This one is called We Love Puzzles, and when funded, it will purchase a wooden puzzle rack and two sets of multicultural puzzles- one that displays homes around the world and one that shows families from around the world in different cultures.

You can find my other proposals by on the sidebar over there. Or you can go to www.donorschoose.org, type in the search bar, Allen Jay Elementary, and look for projects with Mrs. T. on them. That's me! If you know anyone or any business that would be willing to donate, would you please pass my info along? Thanks a bunch!

what a week!

it's 8:30 on a Friday night- the first Friday night of the new school year. i have survived a very, very long day, and i am not sitting here in the dark (and i do mean dark- not a light on in my house tonight) with nothing but the sound of the ceiling fan whirring away. aaaaahhhhh peace.

it's been quite a week. barbara started college this week! robert's new semester started as well. rob started with his new students at his new school today. i prayed for him all day and hope he had a wonderful day! i haven't seen him yet, so i'm looking forward to him getting home from the ballpark to talk. mandatory training for me monday & tuesday. i had my first session as a trainer for the county (i am shadowing this time around because i was so nervous about doing this) yesterday & another "lovely" (NOT!) workshop this morning that my principal made me go to. it was AWFUL!!! and that's a whole 'nother blog post sometime perhaps. barbara had an interview at mcdonalds tuesday. please God, give her a job! rob had to work at the ballpark two nights this week and so did barbara- two other nights. rob, matthew, and i had all our open houses this week plus an ice cream social deal at my school one night too. i have a job, for which i am HUGELY grateful, but this year has gotten off to a bit of a rough start. i will be teaching something, but there's no idea yet what i'll actually end up teaching. for the moment it's a K/1st combo, but it could change to a straight K, straight 2nd, or a 1st/2nd combo. there have been so many people trying to help and talking to me about it, talking to the principal, talking to each other.... i'm waaaay confused, waaaay overwhelmed about it, and waaaay ready for the drama to end. i HATE drama and do NOT want to have it in my life!!!! i didn't get my class list until 40 minutes or so before open house tonight. this is by far the worst prepared i've EVER been for an open house. grrrr... but i pulled it off, the parents seemed okay, and it will all work out. i just keep praying and reminding myself that all summer i've prayed that God would give me the kids i was meant to teach. He will, and i need to trust Him better.

it was our 21st anniversary in there too somewhere. we spent that day working, shoving a quick bite in between taking the two older kids to work and going to matthew's open house. that was nice though to be together with matthew and have some time just for him and to see his classes and teachers. and we got to meet his JROTC instructors. i'm getting LOTS better about that thanks to God's help!

i've got so much to do this weekend; i won't bore anyone with the list. i know everyone's got theirs too. hey maybe that'd be fun. you could leave your list in the comments... too bad we couldn't all help each other out and do those lists together- now that'd be fun! :) but i should say that on my to-do list for the weekend is "fill out graduate school application" because i don't' think it put it on here yet, but i'm getting to attend grad school for six classes to earn a math teaching license, and i don't have to pay anything- for tuition or books... :) it was a pilot program between the county and the state college system, and they are paying for it all. they only chose 25 teachers in the whole county. there were three teachers from my school that were picked, and i am one of them! :) i have no idea if i can do this on my own power, but i am remembering my momma's favorite verse- "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Father, right now, I need some strength, please! :)

good night world. hope you all have a wonderful weekend! ours is booked full, but it will be good!

21 years ago today

...I married my best friend. Happy Anniversary Rob Thomas. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

prayer request

please pray for a teacher friend who is in the end stages of cancer. i just heard from her today. she wrote me to say goodbye. my heart is so sad...

Introducing Elizabeth Rebekah

My former coworker and dear friend & her hubby just had their first child, and crazy as they are, they gave her my name for her middle name. I am so honored, humbled, flattered..... well you get the picture. Barbara & I went to see my friend and meet my new friend, and I am in love. She is a BEAUTIFUL baby! So without further ado, meet my new friend, Elizabeth Rebekah. :)

Kristen & Andrew, should you read this, please let me tell you one more time, thank you for such an honor. I really don't know understand why you'd do this, but I am so deeply moved. I will do everything in my power to be a Godly example to Elizabeth and to show her God's love. And you can count on me to spoil her rotten too. :)

Woo Hoo!!!!

My old coworker, Kristen, was scheduled for a c-section today to deliver her 1st baby. She was a "stinker" and wouldn't tell anyone what she was having; she & Andrew wanted it to be a surprise. So we've all waited and waited to find out. She had told me the names they had chosen for whichever child they had, but I wasn't getting my hopes up for a boy or a girl for her. I just wanted her to deliver safely, have a healthy baby, and be able to get back to her normal life (she's had gestational diabetes and been giving herself insulin shots and lots of other stuff I'm sure I have no clue about)... I just found out a few minutes ago that she delivered a baby girl, and she is named after me. :) Elizabeth Rebekah

Wow!!!! What an honor that is. I mean really. To name your child after someone, especially someone who is not even family or your very best friend... I'm so... I can't even say.

I'm going to see Kristen and meet Elizabeth tomorrow. If she'll let me, I'll post a photo or two of them here tomorrow.

Trying Something New

So, I have been trying something new, a creative outlet for myself. I like to try different crafts, but never have much time. So in an effort to learn to take better care of me, find a way to relax, and all that stuff.... I have started making cards. I'm trying to teach myself some new things (maybe you can teach an old dog a few new tricks...)

Momma and Jessica really liked the cards I made for them and went on and on about them. So, I got either very brave or very stupid and started an etsy site to try to sell some of my little creations. I started my store on Monday night really late, and less than 24 hours later, I had my first purchase. I have been working hard tonight to make more cards to sell plus a few for gifts and such. I'm attaching some photos of some of my creations and the link to my etsy site.

Please pray I can make this work for us. It'd be a really neat way to supplement our income and help my hubby not have to work so many part time jobs. I'd love to do this as my second job and then Rob could cut back to just one "second" part time job himself.

BekaBooCreations

Our Big Day

It was another one of those "milestone days" here at the Thomas household. :) Our 2nd child, Barbara Rose, registered for her 1st semester at the local community college. Our baby girl is now an official college student! She has registered for six classes/18 hours. Let's see if I can remember all her courses: Expository Writing, Math something???, Western Civilization, Intro to Sociology, Public Speaking, and Literature of the Theater. Whew, I think I did it! :)

our college girl!

While I was cooking this evening, Matthew and I saw two goldfinches enjoying our sunflower patch. They stayed for quite a while looking for and munching on yummy seeds grown by us. :) This was the view right out of my kitchen sink window.

We had to do some work in both our classrooms today, and I had a dr.'s appointment at Wake today too. On our way home from Winston, Rob & I stopped at the farmers' market and bought a bunch of green tomatoes, ripe tomatoes, fresh green beans, and a HUGE box of peaches. YUM!!! I cooked fried green tomatoes and the green beans tonight, and tomorrow I'm making peach cobbler! I can't wait!!!

This is a silly photo, but for my momma. This is that ANCIENT crock pot that we adopted from you ages ago. It has gone the route of that 30 year old blender of yours I used for forever and cried when it broke. :) The crock pot finally died too. It gave its life preparing one last meal for our family. This thing is almost as old as me if not older. I don't even know when momma got it, but it's been around for as long as I can remember.

Then tonight, Barbara & I worked on our mother-daughter craft project. We tore several yards of material into these strips/rags. Can you guess what we're going to make? You can leave a comment and guess for fun if you want. I'll tell you soon.

Silly Story

Rob is in training with some of his new coworkers at his new school. He came home today with a funny, and I asked him if I could use it here. It just cracks me up!!!! One of these teachers was talking about his two young children- a year apart- aged 2 & 1. The guy said his kids' names are "More" and "No More." HA HA HA Rob told him we had our kids close like that and told them their current ages- 19, 18, and almost 17. The guy asked Rob, "So what are their names, "More, "No More," and "Oops?" :) Rob replied, they were named, "More," "What?!?," and "WOW!!!" Totally cracked me up. See I got pregnant with two very unexpected (shhh, I was even on the pill both times when I showed up prego.) We had our three kids while both going to college and working (Rob trying to do both full time for a while). We aren't your poster people for how to have a family & be well-off, but you know what? We made it, we did it, we graduated, God blessed us with jobs, we are good teachers, and best of all, we have GREAT WONDERFUL AWESOME Christ-serving young men & woman for kids!!!!

So, anywhooo, I Photoshopped a photo from last year and played with it to put their "new" names on it. So without any further ado, introducing our children- More, What?!?, and WOW!!!

giggly goofy girl o' mine!

I love my daughter!!!!! She can be soooo much fun (she can also be not soooo much fun at times too, but mostly she's just a bundle of joy!). Tonight we sat in the baseball field parking lot at Matthew's school. We were waiting for Matthew's soccer practice to end. He has two-a-days this week- 7-8 AM & 6-8 PM. Instead of driving the 30 minutes back home to just turn around and come back we just sat there, watched Mateo, and laughed and laughed and laughed and giggled and giggled and giggled and all that......

I had sooo much fun with her. She truly is a joy to me, a bright spot in my days, a blessing from my heavenly Father.

Thank You God for my beautiful, joyful, daughter- my giggly, goofy girl o' mine!

Cursed or Blessed?- Jeremiah 17: 5-8

Someday, I'm going to take photography classes and travel around taking beautiful photos. Someday. :)

For today, I'm going to find photos for my Bible study reflection. I am reading Jeremiah. Have no clue why except that I felt God speak that one single word in my brain this spring when I was thinking to myself "What am I going to read when I finish the gospels?" Soooo, now I am reading Jeremiah. Momma told me while I was home that he was called "the weeping prophet." Hmmmm, it made me feel better when she told me that after I shared some things with her. Not that I am in any category up there with Jeremiah, by no means! So anywhooooo.

Today I read this passage- heard it a billion times in church all my life. Sermons, bible studies, songs. But it really stood out the comparison that is being made here and not just the righteous part, but the comparison. WOW.

Jeremiah 17: 5 & 6

"Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the Lord. He is like a shrub in the desert and shall not see any good come. He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness in an uninhabited salt land."

YIKES! So in Rebekah-ese, this says to me, if I trust in others (my family, my coworkers, my pastor or fellow church goers, my neighbor, my president....) and trust in man's strength, wisdom, or intentions it causes my heart to turn away from God. Like a street- I can look left to man or right to God, but can't look both ways at the same time. If I do that,I am CURSED. Then I am a dried up piece of plant/vine/shrub and nothing good will come my way. I will live in a dry, dusty, and lonely, deserted place where nothing good comes, no one goes, and nothing survives.

So, Rebekah- Don't trust in man. Reminds me of that verse in the New Testament where Jesus said a servant cannot serve two masters- either he hates the one and loves the other or vice versa....

Jeremiah 17: 7 & 8

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream and does not fear when heat comes for its leaves remain green and is not anxious in the year of drought for it does not cease to bear fruit."


my version- If I trust in God, I am BLESSED. I am like a tree whose roots never thirst because they are tapped into a reliable, constant fresh stream of water that never dries up or goes away. If I have that constant source of living water then my leaves won't wilt even in hot weather and I can keep on producing good fruit because my life won't be determined by the circumstances around me but by the source of water I have.

So, God I think I hit a bit of a dry spell this past year in some ways, but I felt close to You and think I grew in understanding a lot. But, did I please You? Did I keep green leaves and produce fruit in Your book? Herein is my big problem- I worry waaaayyy too much about what others think of me, are they pleased or angry or upset or hurt with me. Did I let someone down or fail to be every single wonderful thing I could possibly ever be to each and every person in my life?

I could sit here and think about what this coworker thought about me last year or what someone at church has said or if my husband/kids/momma/pop/sister approve of the things I said and did, BUT God you're the only one whose opinion really matters. If I trust in even my hubby's or momma's opinion than I'm trusting in man and am cursed. WOW! I get it God. I have to quit worrying about what man says/thinks/feels about me and trust in You alone. I had the right idea when I said all year, "At the end of the day all that matters is did I please God today..." but my heart still worried about this one or that one....

Please Father, help me to trust in You alone, to strive to please You alone, to care about Your opinion alone. Please help me to be that tree by the water that is thriving and producing such wonderful fruit for You. I don't want to be in the desert alone and thirsty and dying.

just an observation

i think it's kind of amusing when people tell others what "they" should do and then turn around and do the very opposite of what they're asking/expecting/requiring of you.

a beautiful day

Momma & Pop celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary last weekend. They had a simple, elegant, and beautiful ceremony and reception with some of their family and friends. It was very nice.